The Phoenix Los Suns: They shot an ugly 42.4% from the field, including a sub-par 6-16 from JRich, a not so STATy 6-15, A big Yugo from our Yugo 0-5, a McLaction Supreme 0-3 from our "does it really matter which Collins?" center, and a 1-5 from energy guy Lou including 4783652 blown layups. A quick trip to Basketball-Reference shows that in the postseason, the Suns are 8-32 when putting up this kind of performance since 1991, and with further filtering, 3-12 against the Spurs with a brickfest like that.
Even Steve Nash couldn't get things going, dishing out only 6 assists. Nash is only 10-21 in playoff games when limited like that!
The Phoenix Los Suns: They allowed the Spurs to open with a 30-point quarter and were held 35% shooting at the half, while the Spurs shot 51% themselves. Tony Parker led the Texan bench with 20/3/7 on 8-14 shooting, Tim Duncan delivered his classic fundamentals, 29/10 with 2 blocks, and Padface flopped to a double-double of his own (11/11ast). Even Richard Jefferson gave Nyets fans a flashback of what could have been, submitting an 18/10 on 8-13 shooting with 2 blocks of his own.
What in the hell were you doing, Suns? Too busy kicking up political statements and leading The Rev around the city? Well of course, this all led to a gigantic Suns los-...
Alright, you guys got me, I can't keep that going anymore.
The San Antonio Spurs: You mean to tell me, after all that, the Spurs still ended up losing 110-102?
The San Antonio Spurs: Hey, you know that saying, that benches win home games and stars win away games, or whatever? Or maybe the Spurs decided to deny any pre-existing home/away splits data, as Channing Frye went 5-6 from downtown, with J-Rich going 3-6 himself, and Dudley contributed 11 points.
Wait, you're defending me? What has happened to my life...
The San Antonio Spurs: But let's not forget those plucky starters. Even Amar''''''e managed to wrangle 7 defensive rebounds, following Game 1's stunning performance of 9. Uh, hint for those not paying attention, in the six-game series against Portland, STAT managed to collect 14 TOTAL defensive rebounds. For reference, Nash collected 12 in that series.
Overall, The Los Forgot Our Protest Uniforms At Home surrendered 18 offensive rebounds! To the Suns! While Tim Duncan gathered 6, the rest of the Spurs only got 1! The Sols's aggression continued, attacking the basket early and often, ending with 37 FTAs. (Why, of course I looked it up! 13-6 in the post season!)
The San Antonio Spurs: A stunning textbook example of how to defend the pick and rol-...
The answer is Yes: I could watch this all day.
The San Antonio Spurs: Things got a little sourpuss when Pops started (hilariously) getting facetious with question responses, regarding the urgency of winning Game 3. Geez oh whiz! The questioning continued below, (right around 1:06), when Pops gives us a stunning revelation: The Spurs are, infact, grown men:
Could embedding from NBA.com suck any harder?
The San Antonio Spurs: An officials change? At the start of the 4th quarter? You guys call that in or something? And you STILL couldn't get it done?
Nah, I jest, of course. I can't actually blame the Spurs for this move, since the replaced official WASN'T Joe Crawford. (For our more sensitive readers who demand minimal journalistic integrity, it was Ron Garretson who left with an Achilles tendon injury)
The San Antionio Spurs: Looking back at the two games in this series, it feels like some sort of Bizzaro Land. These felt like games that San Antonio had locked as wins, or would have in 2003, 2005, 2007, and 2008. What more can the Spurs do? Game 1 should have been the Suns blowing multiple leads, but instead it was like the Suns toying with a cat with a string. Game 2 just looked awful, but the Suns gutted out a win.
Congratulations, Spurs, you are officially a Shrodinger's Playoff Team. Sure the series can still goto 6 or 7, given Manu dropping a classic with 35 and Frye dropping some away game stink bombs. Throw in some shady officiating to take the crowd out of it in Game 5 and the Spurs are right back in this thing. But seeing things look like they're going your way, only to walk away with the loss, boy do I know that feeling.
Charles Barkley: It's too late. You're in too deep. We're gonna get this done. This has to happen. This will happen. You can't back out. Somehow, we have to have Ernie tase you on live television. You may have gotten out of it tonight, but with a few more games, no logistics too great can stand in our way.