Here at Basketbawful, we love the Indiana Pacers. To us, the Pacers are like that secret crush you harbored all throughout high school. She was smart, funny, and oh-so cute, but she always seemed to be dating somebody else. When she broke up with her boyfriend during Senior Year, you thought your chance had finally come. But she told you she needed some time to "rethink" things, and then she ended up dating that asshole with the mullet just because his parents had money and bought him a new car. Bitch. Anyway, she managed to break your heart a thousand different times in a thousand different ways, but you never stopped secretly watching her at night, usually perched in a tree across the street from her house, thinking "what if...?".

And that's how we feel about the Pacers. We watch, we hope, we cry when that hope is devoured in the whirling jaws of fate. But as much as we love the team, once in a while they pick up a player we can only love to hate. So begins the first installment of a four-part series in which each member of the Basketbawful staff will rail on the former or current Pacer we most despise who's not named
Ron Artest.

He was slow, couldn't shoot, and I hated him
by Mr. P

Mark Jackson.

I hated him. Yeah, he's the 2nd all-time assist leader in the
NBA, but I still hate him. He could run a slow, half court offense, but to me, there were other issues involved. He was slower than spit. I remember old clips of Mark trying to guard Isiah Thomas and Mark was out of the screenshot almost everytime. The one play that really sticks out in my mind was Isiah taking the ball from top of the key, blowing by Mark to get to the base line, then blowing by Mark again one his way back out to the top of the key, then blowing by him again for a layup. And during that whole sequence, it seemed like Mark was always somewhere behind Isiah. Mark Jackson was just slow...and slow point guards just dont seem like the "prototypical" point guard to me.

Another thing that just irked me about Mark was that "point to the hoop with my thumb" thing he did before every freethrow. I mean, c'mon, what the hell was the point of that? I could understand him doing it everytime if it really helped his freethrow shooting, but the guy only shot 77 percent for his career!

Jackson Point
What the hell?!

But the biggest thing that made me hate him the most was that fuckin' JACKSON JIGGLE. Watching him look at the crowd, pout his lips, lean back and shake his shoulders in celebration for scoring a whopping eight points a game made my hatred for him grow. God, I just wanted to clothesline him when he did it.

Jackson Jiggle
Dick.
1 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Don't you bring the Jackson Jiggle into this, asshole

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