Basketbawful

Friday, February 03, 2006

We didn't really need any independent confirmation of this, but now it's official: Kendra Davis is certifiably non compos mentis (i.e., totally batshit crazy). Apparently, Davis was driving around Naperville, Illinois, probably discussing Galilean transformation with the voices in her head, when she blew through a stop sign and almost hit another motorist, one Kathleen J. Bessner.

Bessner, who didn't realize she was dealing with a complete lunatic, followed Davis and confronted her about, you know, almost causing a major traffic accident. Davis, always so calm and cool, responded by throwing a cup of McDonald's coffee into Bessner's driver's side window.

The weapon of choice for psychos everywhere.
Anybody who remembers the McDonald's Coffee Case knows that their coffee is probably the most dangerous substance on the face of the Earth. When not properly stored in a flimsy styrofoam container, McDonald's coffee has been scientifically proven capable of eating through almost six feet of solid steel. So really, Kendra's actions could probably be construed as attempted homicide. Instead, it was filed as simple assault, and after turning herself in and posting $500 bond, she's once again walking the streets, most likely searching for her next victim.

Of course, famous people and their spouses never do anything wrong, so Kendra is defending her the coffee assault by claiming that Bessner used a racial slur during the confrontation. Bessner, naturally, is denying this. Who knows what was actually said, but Kendra should know that soaking people in burning hot liquid is still illegal no matter how much you don't like what they have to say.

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