Have you ever wondered what Miami Heat center Shaquille O'Neal tastes like? Or maybe wanted to run your tongue down Tracy McGrady's back? Well, David Stern understands your needs and he's responded...by releasing officially sanctioned mint topical postage stamps featuring your favorite and not-so-favorite NBA players!

Darko Stamp
Just as I thought...Darko tastes like shit.

There's something strangely comforting in the fact that I can now paste any NBA player to a letter and send him wherever I want. And I don't mean to let the cat out of the bag or anything, but you'd better start addressing your Kobe Bryant fan letters to Abu Dhabi

Dwayne Wade is on the 75 cent stamp and therefore was mildly offended that Antoine Walker and Alonzo Mourning are on 90 cent stamps. But he was happy that at least Udonis Haslem got the cheapy treatment.
"Udonis is 35 cent so it's cool I'm worth more. I'm now internationally known and well accepted. As long as I'm over Udonis, I'm cool."
I'm not sure whether the worth of the stamp is directly related to the worth of the player, so Wade may or may not have anything to be concerned about. But you'll notice that Darko is on a 10 cent stamp.