Basketbawful

Monday, February 06, 2006

Anybody who watched the Bulls over the last few years already knew Eddy Curry didn't like to be touched. I mean, this guy avoided physical contact like he was the last slice of pizza in a take-out box and the opposing team was made up entirely of Oliver Miller clones. But I don't think anyone really understood how deeply his aversion to the human touch ran. Until now, that is. In a recent interview, Curry, now a member of the pitiful Knicks, was asked whether he had any pet peeves. This...was his response:

"People touching me. On our team we got a lot of young guys and they always want to poke at you and tickle you and stuff and I really hate that."

I'm not sure which is the more disturbing revelation: that Eddy plays like he's made of glass because bumping into other guys scares him, or that there are "a lot of young guys" on the Knicks who apparently enjoy poking and tickling their 6'11", 285 pound center. According to the interview, Curry already employs a housekeeper, a driver, and a personal chef. Maybe he should hire Mr. Whipple too, just to keep those crazy kids from launching a tickle attack every time he comes into the locker room.

"Eww!! Ewwwww!!! Don't touch me!! Ewww!!"
I guess you can read the interview if you have any interest whatsoever in Eddy Curry. Some highlights include, oh, I don't know, that he has three kids, and, uh, likes catfish. And, uhm, or forget it. Nobody cares about Eddy Curry. Unless they want to poke something soft and squishy.

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