Basketbawful

Monday, February 13, 2006

When you go to a live NBA game, you can usually expect to see the following three things:

1. The team mascot jumping off a trampoline to slam dunk.

2. Sexy dancers jiggling in place to music from the mid-90s.

3. Basketball being played (except in Atlanta and Toronto).

The Orlando Magic are doing things a little differently, though. While they still employ Stuff the Magic Dragon as their mascot, they no longer have him comically splatter against the backboard 50 times a game. Instead, they're making their dance team do it.

Note the unmistakable look of fear in her eyes...
This isn't a joke or a one-time stunt, either. This is a regular feature at Magic home games. I guess the Orlando management must have anticipated a "WTF?!" reaction from fans, because they provide the following explanation on the team's offical website:

"Dancers Dunking? That's right! Real Orlando Magic Dancers make up our Dunking Dancers performance team. Stuff has taught these girls a thing or two about how to dunk mascot-style, introducing amazing aerial dunks with style and grace that will amaze you! Talented, beautiful, athletic, these girls have it all and you can catch them at select Magic home games! All part of Magic Live!"

There you have it, folks. The world's first Dunking Dancers performance team, courtesy of your Orlando Magic. I don't know about you, but I find it bitterly ironic that the Magic employ a group of tiny women who have more dynamic leaping ability than Grant Hill.

If you have an intense desire to see these incredible jumping women but can't make it down to Orlando for a game, never fear! The Dunking Dancers are going to perform during the halftime ceremonies of the 2006 All-Star Game. So tune in and you too can see...this:

Okay. Fine. It's kind of hot.

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