Monday, February 13, 2006
They Said It: starring Bill Walton
By Basketbawful at 2:03 PM
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Bill Walton could have been one of the greatest Centers in NBA history -- a guaranteed Hall of Famer -- but for the fact that his feet are made out of broken glass, egg shells, and tin foil. I'm not just being cute, either; that's the exact molecular composition of his achy breaky feet. Walton missed an incredible 351 games (almost four full seasons!!!) over the course of his 10-year career due to a variety of foot and ankle injuries. So even though Walton was the league MVP in 1977-78 and won two championships (with the Trailblazers in 1977 and the Celtics in 1986), most of his career is a big "What If."

Of course, Bill has tried his best to make up for these question marks by way of his bizarre career as a basketball analyst. Comments such as "John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization" and "Tracy McGrady is doing things we've never seen from anybody -- from any planet" are just a couple examples of Bill's wit and wisdom. But my favorite Walton quote actually appeared in an article Big Bill wrote for NBA.com. To describe the effects of a pain-killing injection he received before a 1978 playoff game, Walton said:
"Rainbows, white puffy clouds, doves of peace flying across the sky. Mozart on the piano, contrary motion scales, arpeggios up and down the keyboard, Beethover -- crashing thunder -- it was all so beautiful, it was all so perfect."
That's...great, Bill. So, uhm, I don't suppose you have any of that pain medication left do you?

Walton
That's crazy psychadelic, man.
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