Hi everybody! While I'm busy throwing rocks at bottles in the yard preparing the WotW, I thought you might enjoy...

Heeee's back!!!

The Lakers: See what happens? The Knicks start winning and the world goes completely insane.  The Lakers opted for the New York Knicks' sloppy seconds, even though the perfect candidate already more-or-less had the job. And no, I'm not talking about Phil Jackson. 

Bernie Bickerstaff. That's right, I said it. Phil Jackson may have more rings than he has digits on his hands to wear them, but I'm sticking with Bernie. Why would I possibly suggest this madness? It's very simple. I'll quote a tweet from ESPN reporter Arash Markazi: Kobe on Bickerstaff: "He's good. He's getting the f--- out of the way." 

He's getting the fuck out of the way...  I just wanted to let that line sink in. What we have here is essentially a top-of-the-line pick up team. You have the beast down low, the world's most versatile power forward, Kobe, and eventually Steve Nash to be the ringleader. A coach that gets the fuck out of the way is exactly what's needed, and you don't have to pay him much either. This way, instead of trying to force everybody into some ill-conceived system, Mike Brown, they essentially just play and find their way into a rhythm.

Now, I'm not really suggesting that the Lakers shouldn't have eventually selected Phil Jackson, but they didn't even milk this situation for a good dead coach bounce, which was clearly underway. By keeping Bickerstaff longer, the Lakers wouldn't be burning bridges with Jackson, as they just did; they'd simply be dealing with the situation in a thoughtful manner without making it look like the sky was falling. You know, the exact opposite of what they just did. 

Hail Satan

Defense: So, a defensive minded coach who's notoriously bad at designing an offense wasn't the guy for the job, hmmmm.... Oh, I got it! An offensive minded coach who's notoriously bad at defense, somebody get Pringles on the phone. And get me a Banana Nutrament, damn it! 
Childhood memories: When Kobe was growing up in Italy (the beginning of the Godfather Part II), Mike D'Antoni was the man. He won 5 titles of his own in the Italian league, and set the all-time scoring record for his club. Naturally, Kobe idolized him, and despite the two men having been adversaries in the NBA, Kobe's affections haven't appeared to wane. At least not judging from his recent "I love him" quote. I wonder how long that's gonna last. 

Phil Jackson: According to an ESPN source, P-Jax was expecting to have a job this week. 
When the Lakers called to tell Jackson that they had instead chosen Mike D'Antoni to be their next head coach, he was "stunned," according to the source, because he had been under the impression "it was his job to turn down," although no formal offer had ever been made.
I'd be shocked too if I was the Michael Jordan of coaches, and the Lakers chose to go with the coaching equivalent of Damon Stoudamire. I bet Jackson misses these days:

Maybe the Lakers can bring him on as a consultant, so he can occasionally, mid-huddle, tell Pringles to shut up.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Kobe wanted KFC but got Pringles instead.

D'Antoni hiring is an obvious Dwight-centric move. Dr Buss wants to bring Showtime back and play more pick-and-rolls.

PJax's price was too high. He was probably asking for at least $10M a year, when D'Antoni would probably be happy with only $5M per. Zen Master would probably only sign for 2 years then re-up if he still feels like it (doubtful - he's 67 years old now). D'Antoni's only 60 years old (that old huh?) so coaching till 64 would be more tolerable.

My predictions:
1) Pau will be traded for shooters and bench depth.
2) Raja Bell will get released by Utah and sign with the Lakers (if you can't beat em, join em)
3) Kobe will fall in love with the 3 point line
4) Lakers will get Kevin Love (solid 3 pointer!) in a few years
5) Lakers will trade for Jeremy Lin before the start of his 4th year at the Rockets to replace Steve Nash (when his contract expires in 3 years)

Rich Muhlach

Anonymous JJ said...
Haha, I never knew D'Antoni was Pringles. That alone made the post for me.

Blogger Barry said...
The Godfather line caught me off guard, I had a good laugh at that.

I'm glad P-Jax isn't back, I was already tired of his smug face. And perhaps those championships. But mostly his face.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Wow, great job with the Godfather reference and the awesome clip at the end!

Bad call by the Lakers. And it shows Kobe's egocentrism: "we're so awesome we just need a coach that will just get out of the way." How has that worked for everybody else who has tried it? Idiot. He doesn't want Phil calling him on the carpet for jacking up ill-advised shots. And Kobe: a couple wins against bottom dwellers doesn't mean that your problems are over (though I will admit that getting rid of the "give it to LeBron" offense was a great start).

I am relieved at no Lakers championship, though. As Glenn points out, exchanging an O-free coach for a D-free coach won't increase your chances for a ring. I will point out that it will make them more entertaining. Bully for ratings! But let's think a minute. Really the best idea with limited Nash minutes and health? I'm calling BS. No way the Lakers make this work: I predict that they don't get to the Finals. Teams with defense will stop them. Ibaka/Perkins and that effed-up multiheaded defensive beast from San Antonio say so. Please somebody hold me to it and make me eat crow if they do make it to the Finals or win a ring, but I say that the LA-LA-LA-LAkers screwed the pooch with this one. Hooray!

Simmons watch: the Celtics homer-in-chief is going to be so thrilled.