Thanks for the gif, anonymous

Holy beak-ed squid balls, Mike Brown's been fired. I guess I can't say that I didn't see it coming, but I had just thought up the gag of starting to refer to coach Brown as couch Brown, so I guess I won't be doing that as often as I might have. Although, now I can use couched Brown, so, just like the Lakers are saying, it's no big loss

This news broke while I was writing the WoTN, meaning I don't address it below. However, you're in luck. Chris broke the news for Basketbawful a few hours ago, so everybody should scroll down and read all about it.


Worst of the Night:

Kevin Garnett, interviewee: We stand at a changing of the guard. The generation of players who watched Jordan play amongst them in awe (I'm talking about when he was on the Bulls) are aging out of the NBA, while a younger generation has momentarily assumed the top spot in the league's hierarchy. Players even younger than the '03 draft class are clamoring to dethrone them, and some would say that even that younger group has gotten past that legion of '70s born players who were standing at the gates.

If you're not into the whole super-friends movement, and like your basketball with a little more "nasty", never fear because Kevin Garnett is here with a foul mouthed tirade to put a little spit in your eye. Mmmmm, spit.


Thanks, KG. I genuinely just burst into laughter watching that video.  Who else is going to say some shit like that while looking so GQ smooth. Kevin Durant may be super-humble, but there's no way in hell he's gonna cuss out Comcast randomly while discussing team chemistry. Quotes don't get much better than this:

Did I just take a shot at Comcast? Fuck it, I did it. So what? I’m a DirecTV guy anyway. This is what this is. I’m not helping myself, am I? Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Who cares? Anyway, that’s what this is. We totally messed that up, right? Goddamned, we just totally messed that up. 

I'd also like to add, as part of my continual soapboxing against the fat cats, that Comcast is the network that's blacking out Rockets games for everybody in Houston who has a different provider. You know, like DirecTV guys. Thank you Kevin, for championing this important issue.

Dirk Nowitski: Uh...



I don't think that's the type of nasty Pop was talking about, Dirk. I'd say you should stick to Hasselhoff, but you probably shouldn't do that either.

Worst of the Night:

Thabeet: I don't know who was more afraid before the collision, the cameraman or the tumbling giant, but it's the 7'4 guy who ended up on the ground in agony.

Aaaaah! I can't wait for HBO's Girls to premiere any longer!

 
These cameramen are taking our NBA athletes apart like they've been trained and excommunicated by the League of Shadows. I'm sure 6er fans are already aware of this. Hi J-Rich.

There is another reason I'm bringing Thabeet up, and no it's not one of the usual suspects. Attentive fans may have noticed this season that Thabeet is sporting an odd orange patch of hair on the back of his head. At first, I thought this was just his show of support for the return of piebald Rasheed Wallace, but apparently there is a real explanation.

Wtf?

Unfortunately, thanks to the wandering mind of announcer Kevin Harlan, we may never know what that explanation is. He began offering a much needed answer to this urgent mystery, "you see that little, uh, orange patch on his head, that is...uh...", and then he mumbled some half-assed segue and read a NBA Challenge question. I can't provide a video for this, but follow the link and you can see that I'm not making this up for my own amusement.

Speaking about my own amusement, the program I'm writing on doesn't recognize half-assed as a word, and offers half-sassed and half-gassed as acceptable substitutes. I might have to start using those.

I came to party

Ronny Turiaf, posterity machine: The Clippers bench let Meyers Leonard (pictured) get buck last night, and as we all know, when you let Meyers Leonard get buck, bad things are going to happen.

Bad things like this:



You know what they say, though. You mess with Meyers Leonard and...uh... Well, you mess with Meyers Leonard and he's gonna...uh... OK, fine. They don't say anything like that. In all seriousness though, one day they might. The kid's over 7 feet tall and in addition to being able to throw it down, he has a smooth shooting stroke and moves with a fluidity rare for big men. When I was watching the game, I assumed that he was a much smaller player from his quickness, that is until I saw him standing next to somebody. I'm not the only one who's noticed this either, as illustrated by the question that Matt Norlander posed the center in September:

You're notable because of your size and ability to move about the floor like a guard. Has that come naturally, or did you have coaches who instilled that in you?     

So, sorry Ronny, you still get a WoTN, but maybe a few years from now you can say you were one of the first to be posterized by this developing force in the pivot.

Blake Griffin: In scoring only 7 points, Blake Superior had his Great Lake status downgraded last night to Blake Huron, signifying a loss 8,500 cubic kilometers of water. That's what happens when you are outscored by quarry Meyers Leonard, and equal dingy puddle Willie Green.
 
LaMarcus Aldridge: I guess that 14 points on 7 for 17 shooting with 5 assists and 4 rebounds, isn't a terrible line, but last year LA was in the conversation of best power-forward in the Western Conference, and therefore the league. So far this season, Aldridge is shooting in the low forties. Maybe with Kevin Love out and Blake Griffin scoring 7 points against him, he just doesn't momentarily feel the burning fire of competition.

I thought people loved Ingmar Bergman movies

 
Thomas Robinson, amusing apology machine: As condolences go, "I hope everything is okay with whatever area I attacked on him" isn't about to appear on any greeting cards. Although, it should. I'm sure that Jonas Jerebko's heart is now filled with a warm fuzzy feeling, but that's probably just a symptom of blunt trauma to whatever area it was that got attacked. I believe it was the neck, but it could have also been the head.

The Bulls: This was actually a pretty good game, but the Bulls doomed themselves in the final few minutes with some poor decision making. With the score tied at eighty-five and only three and a half minutes left, Kirk Hinrich decided that it was a great moment to heave up an awkward three with plenty of time on the clock. Noah almost tipped it in and then struggled to corral a rebound that went to the Thunder.

Noah, clearly angry, didn't make much of an attempt to hide his frustrations as he walked across court to the home-team bench. However, since he's not Kobe Bryant, and therefore doesn't flood the internet with gifs and videos every time he rolls his eyes, I can't provide you with a video of this. If anybody can find one, I'll post it.

After that, Noah got blocked by Serge, the Bulls missed a few shots, and Kevin Durant decided he'd had enough of this nonsense and canned a few jumpers. 



Isn't that a lovely impression of Dirk's signature one-legged fadeaway? I wonder if Dirk is miffed that so many players are borrowing his move. Kobe's already gone on record that his version is the best.

Fan violence: Which I'm sure is an opinion shared by a group of his rabid devotees who recently caused a ruckus in Salt Lake City. I know I'm assuming that these guys were specifically Kobe fans, but c'mon, you don't go to Salt Lake City and start shit wearing a Pau Gasol jersey. Detective Josh Ashdown of the SLCPD described the recent melee to the Salt Lake Tribune.

The discussion escalated and the Lakers fans challenged the Jazz fans to a fight, which they declined, Ashdown said. Security threw the two Lakers’ fans out of the game, but they apparently decided to stick around to continue the confrontation with the Jazz fans, he said.

The Lakers’ fans spotted the Jazz fans standing on the corner of 100 South and 400 West and started trash talking again. At that point, one of the Lakers’ fans pulled out pepper spray fogger and let loose with it, police said.

What the hell is wrong with people?

Thunder-Bulls: Before heading to the locker room Thabeet found time for the elusive 3:2 Voskuhl that he's been dreaming about. On the opposing side, Vladimir Radmanovic fouled somebody in 16 seconds for a +1 suck differential and a Mario, while Nazr Mohammed washed down his delicious Wilsonburger with a couple of liquified bricks for a +3 suck differential. I doubt it was refreshing, unlike these hilarious Van Damme commercials from the UK.

 Clippers-Blazers: Lacktion regular Will Barton struck again with a +1 suck differential in a minute and a half; he exchanged his regular brick for a personal foul. Meanwhile, Sasha Pavlovic milked his NBA career a little longer with a turnover in five minutes, giving the Blazers another +1 suck differential for the night.

Of course none of this stuff really matters anymore because, as Chris has just posted, the Lakers have shown Mike Brown the door. Evidently, that really was the death stare Kobe gave him. I guess the Laker front office has learned to interpret Kobe's various icy gazes over the years. Read on for details, I know I'm about to...