Welcome to the Worst of the Night, Nov 7, Part II.

Randy Foye: Foye actually played well in Utah's defeat of the Lakers, but his failed attempt to chest bump his coach has to be mentioned.


Have you ever seen a NBA player try to chest bump the coach before? I guess that's why it's not so common. That, and DJ Mbenga breaking Phil Jackson's hip on that one attempt years ago.

The Los Angeles Lakers: The Lakers offense continued to defy positive expectations in their loss to Utah. The team's problems included an 11 to 18 assist to turnover ratio, an overall shooting percentage of 34%, and a three point shooting percentage of 17%. If the Lakers didn't get to the line twenty-eight more times than their opponent, this would have been an unmitigated ass-kicking. 

Kobe looking for his next victim

Apparently, Pumaman isn't too worried about the 1-4 start and thinks Kobe should chill out. This led to Dan B. joking in the comments section, "Get ready for pieces of Dwight Howard's dead body to be discovered outside the Staples Center in a dumpster." Or maybe he wasn't joking, with the way things are going it's hard to tell at this point.

Pau Gasol: Although, Dwight is probably not the first guy on Kobe's fillet list, right now. The absence of Steve Nash doesn't excuse going 2-9 for 5 points. That's a point for every body part the LAPD is going to recover tomorrow.

The Milwaukee Bucks: You don't win too many games when Larry Sanders is listed as your top performer. 


The Bucks backcourt: Last night the broped ran out of gas, Andray Blatche style, and had to be pushed by teammates to a service station. (Thanks to LotharBot for coining the term "broped"). The not so dynamic duo combined to shoot 11-38.

The Detroit Pistons: The Pistons came within 2 points of getting their first win of the season, scoring 103 points in the process. Instead, they found a way to succumb to the prowess of the Purple Paupers, wasting Greg Monroe's first career triple double: 21 points, 12 rebounds, and 11 assists.

Rodney Stuckey: Stuck-in-Detroit, 5 points, just can't get out of his shooting slump. It's hard to believe that last year he averaged 35.5 points against the Kings. Next Wednesday, when the Pistons play the 76ers, he'll get a chance to go head to head with Nick Young in a battle royale of shot missing.

Keith Smart, motivator: The Kings have a comforting sign in their locker room telling them to, "Relax, it's only November".  Rejected sign ideas included  "Relax, who wants to play in June?", "Relax, let's go out there an improve our chances in the lottery", and "Relax, smoke some of this".

Thomas Robinson: Judging by his elbow to the neck of Jonas Jerebko, Thomas Robinson is not listening to the sign. He also doesn't seem to be very fond of Sweden.



Maybe he bought a coffee table from IKEA that he's not happy with or something.

The Charlotte Bobcats: The Bobcraps scored 110 points and still lost, thanks in no small part to their being unable to stop the awesome scoring machine that is Shannon Brown. The game was tied 87-87 in the 4th quarter, when Shannon began his onslaught on the helpless Cats. Coach Mike Dung-lap could barely watch, but was also perversely fascinated by what he saw.

''I mean, those 3s came with guys on top of him,'' Dunlap said. ''It's not like we were coming back to the huddle and saying we didn't play effective defense. He made some great 3s. That's about as well as he's going to do in any NBA game.'

Apparently, this was a revenge game for Shannon who was traded by Charlotte years ago. I don't blame him for holding a grudge, I'd be mad if somebody made me play for the Bobcats too.

Mike Dunlap, backhanded compliment machine: "That's about as well as he's going to do in any NBA game." Good one, Mike. You're probably right.  Aren't you glad you're coaching the Bobcats?

Kevin Garnett: The Celtics got off to a slow start in a game they won in overtime against the Wizards. Symbolic of what was to come, Garnett began the game by earning the Celtics a delay of game warning when he missed the tip because he was too busy doing his pregame ritual of banging his head against the basket support. You can't make this stuff up.

On the whole though, KG should probably stick with whatever it is he's doing. He scored 20 points and pulled in 13 rebounds. You know, normal stuff for a player in his 18th year.

Mark Jackson, no mercy machine: He got the win, but he also almost made David Lee puke, Sean Williams style, in the process.

I said march, damn you

According to Lee, who had been up all night with flu-like symptoms, Jackson wouldn't let him rest:

''Then I looked, we were up like 13 with like 2 minutes to go, and I kept looking like, 'Coach, come on, man,''' Lee said, smiling. ''He just pretended like he didn't see me.''

Anything to beat Cleveland.

The San Antonio Spurs: The Clippers got a chance to dole out some serious revenge game ass-whupping. Popovich summed things up in a quote provided by the Associated Press, "They kicked our (rear end)". Haha, the AP can't say ass. We here at Basketbawful can. Ass.

"Shhh, here comes Vinny", "Hey, what are you two talking bout?"

Vinny Del Negro, redundancy machine: The Clippers really ought to take advantage of Chauncey Billups being in street clothes and just have him replace Vinny Del Negro as coach. The players already have.

''Chauncey (Billups) gave us a good talking to after the last two games,'' Jordan said. ''We really didn't want to disappoint him. He told us that we took our last two opponents for granted and we didn't come out to play. Tonight we brought more intensity and it helped us.''

 So that's what coaching the Clippers sounds like. I'd been wondering.

Fun Fact: Now that the Spurs have lost, the New York Knicks are the last undefeated team in the NBA.

Lacktion:

Mavs-Raptors: Quincy Acy fouled somebody and had his shot blocked in 4 minutes time for a +3 suck differential.

Heat-Nets: Tyshawn Taylor threw up three bricks in 4 minutes and 21 seconds for a +3 suck differential.

Timberwolves-Magic: Will Conroy fouled and had two of his three bricks fed back to him as Wilsonburgers for a +6 suck differential in 5 minutes.

Grizzlies-Bucks: Tony Wroten bricked once in 3 minutes for a +1 suck differential.