I expect many today will waste words crying about the Suns. I'm not a man of many words, but we all knew this was coming. Maybe this isn't a traditional elegy, but it's definitely not a eulogy.

July 2010 can't arrive any faster.

What's a-matter boy? C'mon, it's time to eat...

>I know Mama. He was my team. I'll do it.

I see dead playoff teams.

They only see what they want to see. But they don't know they're dead.


Faster! Faster Nashi! Don't look back! Keeprunnin' and gunnin'! Keep runnin' and gunnin'!

You can breathe, you can breathe c'mon...

If he dies, he dies.
Kobe Bryant: MamBison shot Old Yeller after revealing Bruce Willis was dead all along, even though it was supposed to be an exhibition. And then he ate Bambi's mother.

About the author: AnacondaHL is the Chief Internet Media Relations and Security Officer for Basketbawful and a grizzled Internet veteran who watches in despair as his favorite team, the Phoenix Suns, prepare for the 2009 draft. When not wasting time at his Clark Kent job to read BasketBawful, he can be found playing the Internet computer game du jour, watching animes about robots playing basketball (serious. ly.), wondering why the Diamondbacks have seven team colors, and browsing other obscure things on the Internet. He hopes someday to learn four languages, discover a completely un-theorized particle of quantum physics (and I would obviously name it after myself, not something stupid like Y(4140)), name the largest number in the world after himself, and to eat a crab grown in Akron.

Labels: Bambi, double facepalm, fan submissions, Phoenix Suns, potato suck race, spoilering classic movie plots, whining

Duncan face (dunk'-uhn fas) noun. A look of incredulous, googly-eyed mock surprise that is directed at a referee by a player any (and every) time a call does not go that player's way. Note that the Duncan face can be enhanced by raising the hands in an "I didn't do it!" gesture and should be followed up with a steely-eyed glare.

Usage example: On to my frustration: The Spurs are huge babies. This applies to Popovich, Duncan, and seemingly every other player on the court. Duncan has his Duncan Face everytime he doesn't get a call. [By "Isaac," via TrueHoop.]

Word history: It's impossible to pinpoint exactly when this term was invented, but it's been popular for at least the last three or four seasons, during which time the Duncan face has become a parody of itself. I mean, how can the officials possibly take Duncan -- or any player who utilizes the Duncan face -- seriously anymore? If I was an NBA referee, I would make one call or non-call against a player for each time he used the Duncan face. (This could quite possibly be the reason I am not currently employed as a referee.)

Great Duncan faces throughout history: In addition to the standard or "classic" Duncan face shown above, there are several other Duncan faces that can be used when the situation warrants it:

1. The "Dear God, it hurts!" face. Because that foul could have killed me, man!


2. The "Holy crap ref, you cannot be serious!" face. Because, damn it, you totally would have made the right call if you'd seen what I saw.


3. The "I saw that shit was wrong from the bench!" face. Because I saw that shit all the way from over here.


4. The "I'm gonna make a sarcastic face!" face. Because you, Mr. Referee, are an idiot.


5. The "But I'm Tim Duncan's teammate!" face. Because I really am Tim Duncan's teammate! (Starring Manu Ginobili as himself.)


6. The "Get yer filthy hands off me!" face. Because seriously, ET TU, MANU?! [From Basketbawful reader Phenominal Cosmic Power.]


7. The "Why is my life so damned hard?" sad face. Because you all know I didn't do it, so why do you have to make me cry? [From Black Jesus Disciples.]


8. The "Cheaters really do prosper" goofy grin face. Because it feels sooooo good to cheat and win. [From an anonymous Spurs fan.]


Contribute to the cause! If you know of a Duncan face that I forgot and have photographic evidence to prove it, forward the info to me and I'll use it to update this post...with credit to you, of course.

Labels: bad calls, googly eyes, Manu Ginobili, referees, San Antonio Spurs, Tim Duncan, whining, Word of the Day