I expect many today will waste words crying about the Suns. I'm not a man of many words, but we all knew this was coming. Maybe this isn't a traditional
elegy, but it's definitely not a
eulogy.
July 2010 can't arrive any faster. What's a-matter boy? C'mon, it's time to eat... >I know Mama. He was my team. I'll do it.I see dead playoff teams.They only see what they want to see. But they don't know they're dead.
Faster! Faster Nashi! Don't look back! Keeprunnin' and gunnin'! Keep runnin' and gunnin'! You can breathe, you can breathe c'mon...If he dies, he dies.Kobe Bryant: MamBison shot Old Yeller after revealing Bruce Willis was dead all along, even though it was supposed to be an exhibition. And then he ate Bambi's mother.
About the author: AnacondaHL is the Chief Internet Media Relations and Security Officer for Basketbawful and a grizzled Internet veteran who watches in despair as his favorite team, the Phoenix Suns, prepare for the 2009 draft. When not wasting time at his
Clark Kent job to read BasketBawful, he can be found playing the Internet computer game du jour, watching animes about robots playing basketball (
serious.
ly.), wondering why the Diamondbacks have seven team colors, and browsing other obscure things on the Internet. He hopes someday to learn four languages, discover a completely un-theorized particle of quantum physics (and I would obviously name it after myself, not something
stupid like Y(4140)), name the largest number in the world after himself, and to eat a crab grown in Akron.
Labels: Bambi, double facepalm, fan submissions, Phoenix Suns, potato suck race, spoilering classic movie plots, whining
Special edited bonus: Extra hidden commentary with each picture!
And finally, I am taking suggestions on what I should do with my Suns 31 Marion jersey. Clever and unique ideas are key, but smug and ironic are also acceptable.
Put it in a special "Fail Frame" along with other merchandise -- tickets, programs, pictures, etc. -- of the Run-n-Gun Suns, God rest their merry souls.
Try to get an interview at someplace like McDonald's and then go to it in the Marion jersey and demand 10 to 20 times the minimum wage they're most likely offering, oh, and demand to be made the manager immediately. Have someone surreptitiously film the episode.
Contact all the NBA teams that will have enough cap room to sign Marion to his desired max contract this summer and offer to sell them the jersey for, like, $4K.
More ideas when I'm more awake.
If he dies, he dies.
lol.