Hey, everybody. Evil Ted was going to do today's writeup about the demise of the Celtics...but he didn't get around to it. Yeah. Egg on our faces. Sorry. WotN will return tomorrow.

Labels: Apology, Worst of the Night

...the Livin' Large epilogue post should have been published already. I'm sorry. Really. However, I'm trying to dig up additional information for a "Where Are They Now" type of thing. This includes getting actual writeups from characters in the story. That, more than anything else, it what's causing the delay. Hopefully, it'll be worth it when I publish next week.

Labels: Apology, Livin' Large

I was away from any and all things Interweb and could not publish comments. My bad. Publishing them now.

Labels: Apology

Charles Barkley learned an important lesson over All-Star Weekend: Stop making fun of the suit Karl Malone wore to the 1985 NBA Draft. Or else.


This little episode ranked somewhere between Dwight Howard's Superman Dunk and Reggie Miller's use of the word "titty" in my list of Favorite Moments from the 2008 All-Star Weekend. The lesson we can take from all this is: When Karl Malone demands an apology, you apologize, no questions asked. In fact, it's probably best to never say anything that would ever offend him.

Labels: All-Star Game, Apology, Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, TNT

I'm almost ashamed to admit this now, but I used to hate Derek Fisher. I mean, he was a Laker for god's sake...and that made him The Enemy. Watching Derek Fisher break down and cry after the the Spurs eliminated the Lakers in Game 6 of the 2003 Western Conference Semifinals was seriously one of my happiest moments of my basketball-watching life. Conversely, watching Fisher hit The Shot That Dethroned The Spurs in Game 5 of the 2004 Western Conference Semifinals was one of the worst, and it only made me hate him all the more.

When Fisher left Los Angeles for Golden State, I laughed with devilish glee, because not only did it signal the glorious end of the Lakers' mini-dynasty, it also meant that he was doomed to under-perform on a crappy team...a fitting end for someone so reviled.

But then he went to Utah Jazz, a team I quietly root for year after year. I was decidely not happy, especially this season when the team appeared strong but doomed by Fisher's inability to stick opposing 2-guards on defense (seriously, Derek gave up a half-dozen 50-point games). I even went so far as to tell a friend, who's a Lakers fan, that Fisher was "my Smush Parker."

Well, I was wrong, okay?

Fisher's a true leader with a huge heart. He's also a brave and loving father.

Yesterday, he scored 21 points -- 14 of which came in the 4th quarter -- to help the Jazz stick a knife in the hearts of the upstart Warriors and their rabid fans. What made the win even more amazing was the fact that it happened in Oakland, where nobody was supposed to be able to win this postseason. In fact, Baron Davis became so unhinged he took a cheap shot in the form of a Macho Man Randy Savage-esque elbow smash across Fisher's mug. That was followed later by a Jason Richardson clothesline on Mehmet Okur, and suddenly the Warriors had transformed from the babyface to the heel.

But none of that is important. What's really important is what I have to say right here and now:

Derek? I'm sorry.

Excuse me, Derek. How did youbecome so freaking awesome?

Labels: Apology, Derek Fisher, Golden State Warriors, Los Angeles Lakers, Utah Jazz

I, Evil Ted, would like to issue a formal apology. I appear to have offended a number of people in my recent post regarding Don Imus's comments. I realize that although I meant to convey no actual opinion in the matter, my assertion that "This is what free speech has come to - fear," is, in fact, an opinion. And I would like to sincerely apologize for it.

In no way did I mean to imply that Don Imus's statements were right. They are disgusting, awful - in fact, so awful as to be basketbawful - statements. This is not to imply that Basketbawful himself ever said or repeated these statements. He did not, but if I implied that, I wish to apologize.

I wish to apologize to the Rutgers womens' basketball team if they felt that I in any way implied that I think what Don Imus said was ok. I do not. I am currently working to secure a private meeting with the Rutgers team to express my deep sorrow over the matter. They are not remotely obliged to accept my apology, but I shall offer it nonetheless.

I wish to apologize to Basketbawful Systems Inc., Basketbawful Industries LLC, Basketbawful Magazine, Basketbawful TV, Basketbawful TV2, and Basketbawful Air (makers of the official Basketbawful ball inflator). My comments in no way reflect the thoughts or opinions of these organizations.

I also wish to apologize to you, visitors to Basketbawful. My comment was insensitive to the larger issues at play, and I apologize for my blatant display of ignorance.

I also wish to also apologize to people who have never even visited Basketbawful, but who have still been offended at any time by anything - like the way people talk on cell phones when they drive, or don't pick up after their dogs, or eat competitively just for the free food and not for the love of sport, or annually assert that a large bunny and chocolate eggs have something to do with the ascension of Christ.

Finally, I wish to apologize to myself. Clearly, my attempt at satire was weak, hurried and ill-conceived, and I have offended even myself.

I shall be appearing on Al Sharpton's radio show this coming week to further echo these sentiments, and be verbally lashed for two hours.

Evil Ted

Labels: Apology, Christ, fear, Imus