Amazingly, this was the game's prettiest moment for Boston

The Celtics: Question: What happens when the team with the league's longest winning streak meets the team with the league's worst record. Answer: A 43 year old go go dancer on the outskirts of Las Vegas gets to retire after a will executor informs her that one of her regulars, an impulsive former business man from Raleigh, bet the farm on a long shot and then bought the farm celebrating.

Byron Mullens lorded over the Celtic frontcourt with 25 points and 18 rebounds, and then he stepped outside to insult the Celtic backcourt by going 4 of 5 from behind the arc. Adding injury to insult, Leandro Barbosa became the 3rd Celtic in under a month to have his season ended. Like Rondo before him, Barbosa was betrayed by his own Anterior Cruciate Ligament, the most feared and begrudgingly respected ligament among NBA fans. 

The 76ers: Those who stuck around into the 4th quarter at Wells Fargo Center were treated to the epic battle of Jeremy Pargo vs. Willie Green—CP3, Blake Griffin, and DeAndre Jordan having long since been ushered to the bench, taking their highlight reel with them. That might explain why the 4th quarter was the only one Philadelphia won, obscuring the magnitude of this ass-kicking in the still embarrassing final score.

Nick Young was a one man offense against the team who released him, scoring 29 points, 19 more than anyone else on his team. At halftime the 2nd leading scorer for the Sixers was Arnett Moultree, which led to an informal poll being conducted to determine what percentage of the crowd knew who Arnett Moultree was. The one person who was asked responded by calling the pollster an asshole, which led to the end of the Arnett Moultree poll.

With the home team frightening and disturbing the paying customers, it was up to the Clippers to give people something to cheer about. As they've been doing all season, Lob City rose to the occasion, offering this highlight shortly before the starters were pulled.

  
The Blake dunk probably would've been enough showmanship for most teams, but this Clippers squad understands the importance of entertaining the crowd, even if that crowd isn't their own.

Cleveland: The Cavs found themselves unable to contain Luke Ridnour, who led the Wolves with 21 points, 1 point shy of his season-high. It's appropriate that Luke would shine during this rare victory, seeing that he's the only T-pup player to have played every game thus far this the season.

Is it too late for the Timberwolves to benefit from some sort of Wounded Tiger Theory effect? Yes, probably—but that doesn't mean they're not good for a couple wins every dozen games or so. That's probably cold comfort for any fans of the Cavs who attended or watched this game, and I'm sure a Kyrie Irving injury scare didn't help matters. Maybe that's why the team is turning up the heat on the LeBron rumors. After the game, Kyrie acknowledged that he and LBJ, "talk often". I haven't addressed the LeBron to Cleveland rumors yet, which might be an oversight on my part, but they kinda make me want to puke into the nearest trashcan. Even typing this sentence is making me queasy, so I think I'll move on.

The Pistons: The Pistons continued their season of starkly contrasting highs and lows (mostly lows) by following up their impressive victories over the Spurs and Bucks with a 19 point loss at home to the Pelicans. The loss brought them under .500 in the Jose Calderon era, and made Kid Rock shed a single dramatic tear, 70's PSA Native American style.

Will Bynum pointed out the path to Hell for his team with his 0 for 8 shooting, while New Orleans found a temporary salvation in Ryan Anderson's shooting stroke. I referred earlier to how this loss occurred in Auburn Hills, but that might've actually been a disadvantage for the Pistons. We've recently seen in Sacramento the effect a suddenly energized crowd can have on a team, and in this case the opposite effect was demonstrated. Detroit's crowd of 10,177 spectators was one of the smallest they've ever had, which meant the nosebleed seats were basically abandoned in favor of readily available closer views. After a couple quarters, there was a reverse surge, with fans clamoring towards the nosebleeds to get as far away from the calamity below as possible.

The AP: When it rains it pours. I had just been bemoaning the lack of AP mistakes recently, and now here they are with their 2nd doozy in the last two posts. Strangely enough, both have been related to Pistons games. This time, the AP awarded Eric Gordon a near two-trillion despite the fact that he "sat out to rest his knee" by their own admission.

The Bulls: After briefly righting their ship in Utah, the Bulls proved that the Spurs don't need a single member of their big three to win in Chicago. Kawhi Leonard looked every bit the player of the future for San Antonio with a career-high 26 points, while the team as a whole cruised to an uber-efficient 103 points.

The Spurs all-NBA starting bench

Gregg Popovich wisely chose not to rest Danny Green, thus avoiding another $250,000 fine.

The Bucks: Nene led the Wizards in minutes again and had a double-double, while Brandon Jennings missed as many shots as all but one player attempted for Washington. The end result was a dozen point victory for the team with the league's third worst record.

Bradley Beal scored a career-high 28 points, but apparently it wasn't enough for the AP to get his name right.


Like I said, when it rains it pours. I wonder what the odds are that it was actually his right wrist.

The Magic: They didn't play on Monday, which is my point. With the NBA's worst and third worst teams winning big, it might've been a nice day for them to schedule something.

2 Comments:
Blogger Wormboy said...
We need a feature on Serge Ibaka, who just lost his "Surge" nickname. Dude coudn't do much against the Heat's anemic front court. What the hell, Serge? You're supposed to take Bosh's lunch money! You're the uber-athlete!

And can we get a VD shout out at Dweeane's bitchiness?

Blogger Michael Hsu said...
Mike D on the offensive!
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/games/2013021413/gallery/im:urn:newsml:sports.yahoo,lego:19780928:top,photo,5a18b0de-6972-3e68-bae8-37722f83313f-l:1

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