We begin far away and long ago...

Hi everybody, and welcome to a special several centuries old Japanese poetry edition to Worst of the Night. When I was traveling around different Japanese monasteries in the early 70's, an event occurred that changed my life. It was a cloudy afternoon at the border of fall and winter and I was wandering around Lake Usorisan, deep in thought. The sun broke through the clouds and a single ray shone along the shore. I was following this light when I stumbled upon some marvelous caves. I entered into the darkness of a narrow passage and it was there that I discovered a glass jar set on a rock formation. Inside the jar were several pieces of parchment with writing on them.

I nervously brought these artifacts back with me through customs, and returning home set upon the task of translating them. To my delight, I realized that what I had found was a group of haiku, most likely written during the early 18th century, Japan's Edo period. Unfortunately, I lost most of these priceless treasures in a house fire that I started in 1983 when I shot my television during the final episode of MASH.

However, I had luckily been keeping one page in my glove compartment, so eight haiku survive. Reviewing them yesterday, I noticed an uncanny similarity between those that remain and the eight games played on Monday. I'll let you judge for yourself.

Celtics 101, Bulls 95: 


The initial part is clearly a reference to the windy city of Chicago and Derrick Rose's ACL injury. The final line, 'the grasshopper stirs', I believe refers to the victorious Celtics who share a hue with the noble insect.

Jazz 140, Raptors 133



 As a bird of prey, I'd think the eagle symbolizes the Raptors. The hunger mentioned is probably for a win. This game brought the Raptors to 1 and 7 on the season. The term Tsukimi, or Otsukimi refers to the Japanese tradition of moon viewing parties, held in autumn to celebrate the harvest. In the context of the game, this must signify the 3 overtimes it took for the contest to be decided. The final image of a flute playing long into the night hints at an eventual victory for the Jazz. True, flutes aren't necessarily the first instrument that comes to mind upon hearing the word "Jazz", but I don't think they had saxophones back then.

Phoenix 110, Nuggets 100

A faux hawk that can transcend time

That concludes this historical journey. I hope it was enjoyable. Don't worry if it wasn't, because that fire in the '80s made sure this was a one time thing.

Lacktion:

Jazz-Raptors: Aaron Gray immortalized a +2 suck in 4 minutes and 24 seconds. In 82 less seconds of play, his fellow Raptor Terrence Ross also went the +2 route and also bricked a shot, but they diverged when Aaron got a personal foul and Terrence got his shot blocked.

Thunder-Pistons: A turnover and two fouls sheared Jeremy Lamb, resulting in a +3 suck differential for the Thunder.

Heat-Rockets: Terrence Jones personified the ephemeral bloom of the hibiscus flower with a 31 second Mario for the Rockets. 

Timberwolves-Mavericks: Greg Stiemsma fulfilled his 6:1 Voskuhl potential in the form of a brick, a turnover, and four personal fouls to a single rebound.