clank 1-001

clank 2-001

clank 1-001

clank 1-001

Clank 4-001

From Elias Sports Bureau: "Chris Bosh made just one of his 18 field-goal attempts (5.6%) in the Heat's 93-89 loss at Chicago. It was the worst percentage by a player taking at least 15 shots since the Warriors' Tim Hardaway went 0-for-17 in an overtime win at Minnesota on December 27, 1991. The last player to shoot that poorly (minimum 15 FGA) while his team lost by five points or less was the Celtics' Frank Ramsey on December 8, 1960. Ramsey went 0-for-15 in Boston's 118-115 neutral-site loss to the Cincinnati Royals in Philadelphia."

Further reading / watching: Chris Bosh takes a dive! [H/T Aaron]


The best parts: 1) the obviously delayed reaction and 2) the Ric Flair-like writhing around on the floor after the non-contact. Even a marshmallow can stand up against no contact. So I can't even call him Boshmallow anymore.

Actually, yes I can.

Even more reading: From Basketball-Reference (via AnacondaHL): Chris Bosh submits one of the historically worst offensive statistical plus/minus (OSPM) performances in NBA history.

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34 Comments:
Blogger Dan B. said...
Hey, he still shot better than the Western Conference Null-Star team! That's... something.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
To be fair, there's been plenty of 17 FG missed games, but yea this is a rarity in bawfulness.

Blogger Dooj said...
Shouldn't one of those stills be a "SWISH!"

Anonymous Angry Canuck said...
cackle

Anonymous Anonymous said...
That asshole Reggie Miller and his ugly-ass sister haunt the NBA.
Seriously everytime one of them, or god forbid, both of them work a game, it's fucking unbearable.
Can anybody actually stand them?

Blogger Evan said...
If I consumed liquor, I would have turned Bosh's misses into a drinking game after a while.

First, you wait for Kevin Harlan to mention that Bosh is only 1 for 14 from the field. Then he'll clank another. You then say, "ONE FOR FIFTEEN!" and then take a shot.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Shouldn't one of those stills be a "SWISH!"

If you look closely, you'll notice the seventh still is indeed a swish...because he hit his seventh shot. Hey, I check these things.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
And by history, I mean bballref's currently stored database back to 1987, which will soon be all of NBA history.

Blogger Rogue said...
I had to double take after reading your comment and indeed that 7th one is a Swish. Fukin A Mr.Bawful, I love it.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
And by history, I mean bballref's currently stored database back to 1987, which will soon be all of NBA history.

Not soon enough for me.

Anonymous This Guy said...
OF COURSE Reggie Miller likes the flop. "You gotta sell it!" Classic.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
OF COURSE Reggie Miller likes the flop. "You gotta sell it!" Classic.

Reggie also called somebody out for pulling the "World B. Free leg kick" and getting (correctly) called for an offensive foul. Which would have held more weight, really, if Reg hadn't earned most of the FTAs he had in his career by using that very move.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Pretty much. This is where you miss Udonis Haslem. 1-17 becomes 1-10. Haslem could go 3-8 and you win that game

Blogger Dooj said...
@basketbawful

That's what I get for skimming.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Mr. Bawful - No mention of Danny Ainge in today's writeup? What are your thoughts on the Celtics trade? You haven't made one comment about it so far. Does that mean you're too upset to discuss it?

Anonymous EuroGuy said...
What Celtics trade? The Celtics wouldn't trade away their defensive centerpiece big guy. It's just an ugly rumour. Perk and Semih just needed a day off and will be back tomorrow.

A Celtics fan in total denial

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Mr. Bawful - No mention of Danny Ainge in today's writeup? What are your thoughts on the Celtics trade? You haven't made one comment about it so far. Does that mean you're too upset to discuss it?

Evil Ted is currently working on a response post.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
@basketbawful

That's what I get for skimming.


I know this site is mostly fart jokes, but if you skim, you will miss the occasionally subtle humor.

Pretty much. This is where you miss Udonis Haslem. 1-17 becomes 1-10. Haslem could go 3-8 and you win that game

Yeah, it's always worth noting that the Haslem injury was a real blow to the Heat.

That said, I'm always leery of the "If this happened, that would have been different" game. It's like people citing Boston's pathetic work on the boards in last year's Game 7 against the Lakers and stating, "If Perk had been there..."

Inserting Player X into a game isn't as simple as saying, "Oh, he would have scored this many points or shot such and such from the field." It's the butterfly effect. There would be many more changes in the game than we can know.

Blogger LotharBot said...
The amazing thing about Bosh's statistical performance last night: he did it with only 1 turnover. The other guys "ahead" of him on the "killing the offense" list mainly did it by turning the ball over (averaging 5.34 turnovers!) Bosh did it simply by clanking. Only Kenyon Martin's 3-23, Ray Allen's 0-13, and Cliff Robinson's 1-15 are in the same ballpark of clankitude-without-excess-turnovers.

----

WoTN mention: Kevin Garnett. Sure, he put up a pretty solid 14 and 13. But at one point he got open under the basket and Kenyon Martin tossed him out of bounds to stop him from catching the pass for an easy 2... and he flopped on his way out! Instead of just stumbling, he ended up crumpling in a heap trying to sell it as a flagrant foul. Then he got up, waited for Violet Palmer to be in the way, and started yelling at KMart like he was going to fight.

KG is intense, but IMO he's a fake tough guy. Sure, he'll pick a fight with Jose Calderon, QRich, or Zaza Pachulia, but against anyone even remotely tough (McDyess, Maxiell, KMart) he backs down or waits for someone to be between them before he starts yapping. And really, flopping out of bounds? Weak.

Anonymous laddder said...
Jesus, Montiel got up faster with a flush check hook.

Boozer's airbow is a fuckin sledge hammer.

Blogger chris said...
Meanwhile, in Purple Pauper land, reality is starting to get more tense.

Maloofs can't handle the fact they got called out by the mayor, and...people are starting to wonder if they have already decided to Clay Bennett the franchise to Anaheim well before now.

Anonymous Angry Canuck said...
Hey Chris! You're on national TV now! Happy?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
To supplement the Angry Canuck's comment, I will repost the now-infamous Bosh quote from after he signed with the Heat:

"I mean, really it's all about being on TV at the end of the day. ... Seriously, a guy can average (20 points and 10 rebounds) and nobody cares. If you don't see it, it doesn't really happen."

Bosh later tried to "clarify" his original quote:

"Some players will be considered better than others because, if more people see it, than more people will think that that player is better than another, even if the numbers don't match up."

How dem feet taste, Boshmallow?

Blogger Dan B. said...
Don't have the time or energy to write a BAD post today (car troubles and a sucky day at work), but I do have to share this link: the Pistons are a friggin' mess.

Blogger Paul said...
As a resident of Orange County CA I can't really see myself getting excited about the Queens moving in.

We already got the Lake Show and the Blake show.
Socal, the Tri-County area (LA,OC and Riverside) has a very established purple and gold identity. If anything we would probably welcome the Clippers in.
But I don't see us pulling behind a losing franchise with a cancerous locker room that might or might not be looking for a new permanent home or just trying to sucker another city into spending hundreds of millions on a new arena.

I wish the Kings would stay in Sacramento but if they do move I reckon San Diego as a better fit.

Anonymous Original said...
"Inserting Player X into a game isn't as simple as saying, "Oh, he would have scored this many points or shot such and such from the field." It's the butterfly effect. There would be many more changes in the game than we can know."

Mr. Bawful, working chaos theory into basketball. I like it.

Blogger tonious35 said...
Mr. Bawful,

I show you gleeful amounts of MAN-LOVE to you by giving the Raptors a win on Wednesday and casting a spell of defecation on Bosh to go 1-18, and act like Mike Ribero (from the Dallas Stars http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNw8ZZT8tOU) on TNT.

Thank You

Anonymous Anonymous said...
As a resident of San Diego we don't want the Kings either.

What's so hard about just moving them to Seattle or Vancouver? Areas that actually WANT a team.

Anonymous THE CITY OF SEATTLE said...
We don't want the Kings.

Blogger The Reactionary said...
LotharBot: Bullseye on Garnett as "fake tough guy." He's a St. Bernard with the heart of a Chihuahua. A lot of noise, a lot of energy. I think when Gasol out-played him last year, it wasn't because Gasol got tough, it's that he realized that Garnett isn't really tough.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Mr. Bawful - I'm definitely looking forward to ET's writeup, but I'd like to hear your take as well. You're a Celtics fan too, how do you feel about the trade?

LotharBot - That flop out of bounds by KG was really embarrassing, and as soon as it happened I wondered if he'd actually stand up to K-Mart, cause it would definitely not seem to be in his nature to actually stand up to anyone who could hurt him. So when he waited till everyone jumped in between them before he did anything, it wasn't too surprising.

Blogger chris said...
Anonymous: Not sure Seattle wants to ever deal with the Association again after the way they got screwed out of the Sonics.

Paul: San Diego isn't a better fit when you consider TWO NBA franchises have failed to work there (the Rockets and Clippers).

Of course, if the Purple Paupers ever leave Sactown, expect this city to get a replacement team the same day Rochester or Omaha does, which is absolutely never.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Sheesh, you guys talk about "standing up to player X" What, like there's actually going to be a fight? If Kenyon the bone head takes a poke at KG, KG should be laughing his ass off.

OK, I'm grumpy mainly because there's a story here about with Kenyon Martin on the "good" side. Plenty of stuff to trash KG about, let's not tell stories where Kenyon "Neck Lips" Martin is a good guy, m'kay?

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