63029258
INVISIBLE BASS GUITAR SLAPPING

Remember guys, we've got some big games coming up Monday thanks to Martin Luther King Jr. Day. This should free up your Sunday quite a bit to go watch football playoffs, or if you're completely and totally uncool like me, the PBA World Championship bowling event.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Wizards Timberwolves Basketball
Yeah, that's about as white and awkward as it gets


Magic Thunder Basketball
"YEAH! I'M TOUGH! I'M BAD! HIT ME! Oh come on, dude, you aren't even trying"


rafael-babby-do-flamengo-destroi-a-tabela-em-cesta-contra-o-mavort-na-liga-das-americas-1294973845637_700x1049
AWESOME.
(h/t JE Skeets)


Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Mavericks at Spurs, ESPN, 8pm: Here's an amazing video from The Two Man Game, which was also posted on The Basketball Jones -- Get Rick Carlisle-Rolled.

Just when you thought Rick Astley couldn't get any better...

Frail Blazers at Suns, 10:30pm: The Blazers look to take advantage of the Suns defense -- which is even less present than cartlidge in Brandon Roy's knees -- and complete the season series sweep.

All The Other Friday Games:
Bulls at Pacers, 7pm: The Bulls are nearly unstoppable at home, but bad news guys: this is a road game. The team as a whole struggles on the road, but brutal stats from Derrick Rose: 3-for-25 from downtown in his last seven road games, and averaging 5 turnovers a game during that stretch.

Bucks at 76ers, 7pm: My prediction for those of you watching this game on TV: be prepared to wake up from a deep sleep and look at the TV to see an 84-72 score and think "oh, good, I only slept through a few minutes of the second half." But then your eyes will focus so you can look at the game clock, and you'll see there's three seconds left in the damn game.

Pistons at Craptors, 7pm: Aww jeez, what a horrible, horrible excuse for a basketball game. The Pistons are an abysmal trainwreck (their only source of excitement is the pointless Rip Hamilton benching soap opera). And yet they only have one less win than their fossilized, rollerblading opponents.

Bobcraps at Celtics, 7:30pm: The coaching change and resulting spark in player morale in Charlotte seems to have made a difference. They've moved up into 8th in the Leastern Conference. Too bad they're about to be steamrolled tonight. Per the STATS LLC game preview: "The Bobcats have lost their last four games against the Boston Celtics by an average of nearly 27 points -- setting record scoring lows in two of them -- and they'll try to snap a five-game overall skid in the series Friday night at TD Garden."

Kings at Knicks, 7:30pm: Speaking of those STATS LLC game previews, here's another note from them that made me shake my head: "The Knicks look to stop a three-game home losing streak against the Kings, who are on the verge of dropping 13 straight on the road for the first time since 1990-91."

Hornets at Rockets, 8:30pm: K-Mart's status for this game is still uncertain. Here's to hoping Discount Store shows up and makes things at least somewhat interesting.

Cavaliers at Jazz, 9pm: On the other hand, there is essentially no hope for this game being interesting. There's less hope for this game than for the Colin Farrell remake of Total Recall not sucking. I mean, it won't even involve getting anyone's ass to Mars! It'll practically be like a high-budget version of Overdrawn at the Memory Bank!

Clippers at Warriors, 10:30pm: This certainly feels like one of those games were Blake Griffin take advantage of the situation and puts up some stupidly good numbers.

Nyets at Lakers, 10:30pm: Uh oh. This is the first game against the Lakers for Sasha Vujacic since he was traded. Will we be treated to an epic revenge game from The Machine???

* * *

Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Heat at Bulls, NBA TV, 8pm: I think I have officially hit the point where I am physically sick and tired of LeBron James. Or I could just have a headache that isn't at all related. Either or.

All The Other Saturday Games:
Rockets at Hawks, 7pm: I'm not really feeling this Hawks team. They're just sorta... there. I mean, their best player is named Joe Johnson, which is pretty much the most generic, least assuming name in the NBA.

Craptors at Wizards Generals, 7pm: The Generals are at home. That means there is a slight chance for them to actually win a game! Yay!

Hornets at Bobcraps, 7pm: Thank God this game isn't happening under the glacial pace that the Bobcraps used during Larry Brown's tenure earlier this season. Time might have actually slowed enough that it would have destroyed the spacetime fabric and ruined all our shit, and we wouldn't want that.

Kings at Pistons, 7:30pm: "Kingsatpistons" is Latin for "facepalm."

Magic at Timberwolves, 8pm: The Dwight Howard/Kevin Love rebound battle makes this game surprisingly intriguing.

Mavericks at Grizzlies, 8pm: Amazing to think how much one player can swing this game. If Dirk Nowitzki is healthy and on the floor, this is an easy road win. If he's out, this is a toss-up.

Cavaliers at Nuggets, 9pm: The Cavs may be unspeakably bad, but they are almost middling in assist (21.0 assists per game, which is 18th in the league). So they've got that going for them. Which is nice.

Nyets at Frail Blazers, 10pm: Meanwhile, the Nyets are 29th in points per game AND in assists per game. Yet there are two teams with fewer wins. The NBA -- It's FAAAAAAAAAANtastic!


* * *

Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Nuggets at Spurs, ESPN, 9pm: Carmelo Carmelo Carmelo Carmelo trade Carmelo Carmelo Ireallydon'tgiveaflyingfuckatthispointwherehegoes Carmelo Carmelo Carmelo

All The Other Sunday Games:
Lakers at Clippers, 3:30pm: Could it be? Could this game actually not suck out loud???

Labels: , , ,

22 Comments:
Anonymous Ryan P. said...
This may not have much to do with this post, but I came across this photo of Kevin Love that is just too good not to share:

http://i.min.us/idWukW.jpg

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Holy Herp Derp that is an epic Spo picture

Anonymous Drama said...
im not quite so sure about Laker/Clipper game comment...Clippers tend to put up a good fight against The Other LA Team and it took a DFish lay-up over DJ to win last time...the way they've been playing recently, im predicting a Clipper win

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Marion, Kidd, Butler, Rickrolling...

The Mavs just love swooping in on something years after it passed its use-by date, don't they?

Blogger Dan B. said...
Ryan P -- Excellent.

Anonymous Shiv said...
Spo looks more like a retarded version of Ted "Theodore" Logan.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Paupers win!! Paupers win!! On the road, to boot!!

And it looks like your thoughts about the Clip Show's road trip are right on the money, Bawful - Game 1, loss 1 to Golden State. Ruh-roh.

Anonymous dave m said...
Love - I am not an animal, I am a human being!

Blogger LotharBot said...
The unspeakably bad Cavs held the Nuggets to 79 points... in the first half.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I have no idea why, but this photo had me laughing for a good five minutes!

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/photos?gameId=310115029&photoId=1063215#photo_1063579

Blogger KHayes666 said...
Hey that's Jose Juan Barea....I saw him live when Northeastern was playing BU.

Of course NU lost but he still put up 20 points or so.

Anonymous Karc said...
@LotharBot - Mo Williams got hurt, too. Only played 5 minutes. But he's an "All-Star," so he'll tough it out, right?

(No.)

Anonymous DKH said...
Heh, the ESPN recap for the Cavs-Nuggets game has this at the bottom (also, Nuggets get another team on the second night of a back-to-back? Not that it matters, being the Cavs, but still):

The Cavaliers were down 80-49 at halftime Saturday and would up losing by 28 points. They fall to 1-23 over their last 43 games and have been outscored by an average of 15.9 PPG during that stretch.

I wonder what their record in the other 19 games was?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
AP has a hilarious comparison of Dwight Howard and Kevin Love:

"Howard is the chiseled freak of nature, with bowling balls for shoulders and trampolines for calf muscles. The former slam dunk champion takes over games with unbridled athleticism and sheer power that is simply too much for most in the league to handle."

"Love, meanwhile, has a doughy physique and the same vertical leap as the janitor who plays in your weekend pickup game. But his anticipation, positioning and relentlessness is without peer."

Anonymous Don Mølse said...
As you all have noticed, the world cup in Handball started this friday, and to celebrate i thus bring you an epic picture featuring 5 full retarded handball players in action! if only NBA players can only wish to look this retarded: http://multimedia.ekstrabladet.dk/archive/00513/28_01_10__Wien__EM__513368m.jpg

Blogger Sam Lively said...
Stacey King's melding of his (new?) catchphrase "give it to me" and his nickname for Kurt Thomas "Big Sexy" had my wife thinking I was watching porn instead of the Heat-Bulls game.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
http://youtu.be/i0Pd3xfmvqA

If this isn't bullshit, I don't know what is. Let it be known Bosh was credited with the 3 on the statsheet

Blogger Wild Yams said...
kazam92 - According to the play by play the problem is that the score prior to that 3 pointer was actually 60-67, not 61-67, so that's why the point was taken off. The TV just had the score wrong prior to the shot being taken. Don't worry, nobody's cheating here (except the cHeat, of course).

Anonymous Karc said...
Lakers implode to the Clippers. Literally. Odom was taking Griffin too seriously, and the Lakers blew yet another double-digit lead after the Clippers went small ball with Gordon and Griffin leading the charge.

But then, there was that ridiculous non-fight at the end of the game, where Odom and Griffin exchanged words (after it was blatantly obvious that the Clippers were going to win), then Baron Davis ran in like the little bookie who had money riding on the fight taking place to make sure that it escalated to something it wasn't.

From what I saw, Odom and Griffin were separated and started to walk away with their ceremonial double technicals. But Davis gets in there (defending Griffin would have been silly at this point, he had been owning the Lakers since halfway through the 3rd, besides, what was Lamar going to do?), which of course inspires Artest, and the meltdown begins. I really think the only guy that should have been tossed was Davis.

This is almost as stupid as that USC-UCLA fight that happened a couple of months ago. Except people got stabbed. Or that Angels pitcher last year who made his debut, then was promptly killed that night by a drunk driver. Yes, this is LA, the top draw of the NBA until a highly-skilled a-hole took it over with his un-justified preening. (Or rather, inherited it from another a-hole).

Blogger KHayes666 said...
You can hate on the Clippers all you want but they just beat the Heat and the Lakers in almost consecutive games.

Talk about spoilers.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Wild Yams - After cooling off, I looked into it. In the play-by play James Jones was credited with a jumpshot and then free throw.


But in the game, it was clearly a 4 point play (he hit a corner 3 and got fouled), the announcers proclaiming so. No explanation was given as to why the point was deducted two plays later when Bosh hit a 3. I would have to see the James Jones shot that preceded the Bosh 3 for me to reach any conclusions but I watched the whole game and I can almost assure James Jones had the 4 point play.

Now would we have won? Who knows? But needing a 2 point shot with 4.4 secs left is a lot easier than needing a 3

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Does this mean that the Lakers are who we thought the Clippers were?

Links to this post:
Create a Link