second coming
Article fail.

When last we checked in with Antoine Walker, he had been cut by Mets de Guaynabo...a Puerto Rican team. In the eight games before he got cut, Walker averaged 12.4 PPG, 8.6 RPG and 2.1 APG while going 6-for-27 from downtown (22.2 percent) and a Shaq-like 15-for-29 from the line (51.7 percent)...on a Puerto Rican team.

On the bright side, he didn't commit a single turnover.

You'd think the facts that he's a) broke and b) too washed up to make it on a freaking Puerto Rican team would have put a Mortal Kombat-style finishing move on Walker's NBA career. But no: Mr. Shimmy is plotting a comeback. Probably because of that whole "broke" thing.

'Toine's uncle, Chico Walker, recently had this to say to Jessica Camerato of WEEI.com:

"He's definitely looking to go into training camp, but he knows it's not going to be a guaranteed contract. He's going to have to go in and make a team, and he understands that. That's where he is in terms of his conditioning. He knows he has to go in there and earn a spot. Nothing's going to be given to him regardless of what he's done in the past. I think the main concern is that this other stuff is going to follow him around. Is that going to be a deterring factor for a lot of teams? Hopefully not because basketball-wise, I still think he has a little bit to give to the game."
Shouldn't that first bold-faced sentence read "Nothing's going to be given to him because of what he's done in the past"? During the 2007-08 season -- his last in the NBA -- Walker appeared in only 46 games (starting once) for a 22-win Minnesota squad, averaging 8.0 PPG and 3.7 RPG. His PER of 11.4 accurately qualified him as a "scrounging for minutes" player.

The following summer, Minny traded 'Toine to the Grizzlies, who willingly paid Walker $9 to go away and never come back. That was money well spent if you ask me.

My point is: Walker didn't have "a little bit to give to the game" three seasons ago, so I seriously doubt he has anything to give now. But Chico wants us to believe otherwise:

Now as Antoine attempts a comeback in the NBA, he turned to someone he has trusted over the years. Antoine has spent his summer working out at the University of Louisville with Rick Pitino, his coach at the University of Kentucky and on the Celtics, and the Cardinals basketball team.

Chico estimates Antoine has dropped between 18 and 25 pounds as he continues to improve his conditioning under Pitino's watch. "Four to six" teams, he said, have already expressed interest in the forward, who is fighting to land an NBA roster spot for the first time since 2008 when he received a buyout from the Grizzlies.
Four to six teams? What YMCA league is Chico talking about? Because I promise you there aren't four to six NBA teams that would hire Walker to hand out jockstraps in the locker room let alone play.

This whole thing reminded me of an article Scoop Jackson wrote about Walker after the Celtics took him with the sixth overall pick of the 1996 NBA Draft. Here's an excerpt:

As the smile spreads across his face, you realize that Antoine is a 20-year-old man living a dream, happy just to be here, but not satisfied. Not yet. He's the one rookie that truly wants to run the NBA. He wants to rejuvenate the Celtic legacy. Championships in droves. Winning the jewels last year in Blue Heaven spoiled him. That's the difference. Being a part of an NCAA championships program is something neither [Len] Bias or [Reggie] Lewis were able to claim.

He's also got that arrogance. "It's not arrogance, man!" he insists. Yet he's got that arrogance that anybody who's gonna make it, needs in order to make it. The Celtics need it. They miss it. There used to be no such thing as a Boston player without arrogance. That's why you hated them, that's why they were so loved.
Huh. I guess that whole "arrogance" thing doesn't work in Puerto Rico.

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28 Comments:
Blogger chris said...
Little did anyone know that it would take 12 years and the mismanagement of Kevin McFail to bring back pure, unadulterated arrogance to Beantown!!!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOBE!!!!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOBE!!!
Our 2 time Bill Russell Finals MVP winner,
and future 3 time Finals MVP winner!!!!!!

Blogger Michael Hsu said...
Dang do you see how skinny he is in that picture? Did he spend all his money on food or something? I'm not sure how 4-6 teams can be interested in him. You are either interested or not, you can't ride the fence because that means you are interested...

Quick fact on the Grizzlies.
During USA and Spain they talked about how good Marc Gasol was and that only in his second year he was named a captain on the Grizzlies. No that doesn't show how good he is, but rather how BAD the Grizzlies are.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Hey, looks like my assertions from the 2009 draft are starting to take shape, as people fawn over Ricky Rubio's play. And hair.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think this excerpt is pretty telling:

Ask him, flat out, if he was the best player on that team last year (a team that not only won the national championship but also had three first-round draft choices): “I think I was, just because I brought a lot of things to the table. Not necessarily more than anybody else, but my size kinda made a difference."

Yeah, we know the amount you took to the table affected your size, Antoine.

Blogger Will said...
"Four to six teams? What YMCA league is Chico talking about? Because I promise you there aren't four to six NBA teams that would hire Walker to hand out jockstraps in the locker room let alone play."
Bawful, you really overestimate the intelligence of some GMs. I'm sure what really happened is that David Kahn called 4-6 times and Chico (is his wife "The Man")thought he was someone different each time.

Blogger Cortez said...
"Nothing's going to be given to him because of what he's done in the past"

Good edit.

This clown is directly responsible for my lack of enthusiasm for pro basketball generally and the Celtics specifically (although that may be a net positive now that I think about it).

Blogger Sorbo said...
I don't get it. He looks out of shape even in that photo. Must be his fat head.

Blogger BadDave said...
He's got plenty to give the NBA.

3PA, zeroes, DNPCDs and flu-like symptoms.

Anonymous Heretic said...
Pretty much the opposite of everything stated/predicted in that article happened. I have my fingers crossed that the Celtics take him back and they can pair him up with Shaq.

Why the fuck is everyone saying Ricky Rubio is an awesome PG?, those passes may look nice in the euro league but in the NBA all I can see is a butt load of turnovers and a marshmallowy Pau Gasol flavored softness.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Uh, maybe because those passes were against actual top level NBA players? And with even better teammates of NBA quality (Rudy Fernandez doesn't count) he could be amazing to watch? And his game on the other side of the floor too, against aforementioned NBA players.

That's not really "why the fuck" difficult to extrapolate. Hell, "turnovers and softness" sounds like Steve Nash to me.

Anonymous Shrugz said...
Rubio can't win until he gets the NBA with fans, my gawd. Even if he plays against a team that's built better than most actual NBA teams.

I hope he turns into a superstar so he can rub it in doubters faces.
KID'S STILL 19!!!

Anonymous Heretic said...
Nah Rubio is closer to Jason "White chocolate" Williams than Steve Nash. In his early years Jason had some really flashy no look passes that drew oohs and aahs but wasn't really considered a great PG. Plus Steve Nash has had his face bashed in a ton of times and kept playing hard, not really a guy I would associate with softness.

Some of the guys on the US team are top level but lets face it they aren't the Olympic team, and they have not gelled like a strong regular season team.

Can you honestly see Rubio going up against a physically stronger PG and not getting man handled to the point CSI would have to be called in? Deron Williams will probably dance a jig every time he has to go up against a guy who looks like a reject from Menudo.

As a bonus Rubio will go to the Timberpoops, who make Team Spain look like the original dream team. I'm predicting disaster in his first year. But on the bright side his hair will remain gorgeous.

Blogger Cortez said...
"Deron Williams will probably dance a jig every time he has to go up against a guy who looks like a reject from Menudo."

What this guy said.

Anonymous Barry said...
Can you imagine him chucking up 3s and 4s? It's just throwback goodness for those on the receiving end. Now with added international experience!

And why are there people here wishing Kobe a happy birthday? Don't you know where you are?

Anonymous Karc said...
@Barry - They are only reminding us that Kobe's getting old. Kobe being old is a good thing for us.

Blogger lordhenry said...
"And why are there people here wishing Kobe a happy birthday? Don't you know where you are?"

Yes, Basketbawful. Home of "Worst of the Night" and the "Dark Lord"......

Deep in the mountains of L.A. in the citadel Minas Mamba, on a throne of ice made from the frozen tears of Cavs fans, sits the Dark Lord, Kobe "Bean" Bryant, he of the gimpy finger, surgically repaired knee, arthritic finger, and winner of five chamionships.

Today, greats from around the NBA have gathered to celebrate the Mamba's hatching. The Dark Lord addresses the crowd.

"I appreciate all of you being here today, but I have called us here not to celebrate but to plan."

"Bah, is this the part where you act like our buddy until the finals then you choke the life out of us like Bart Simpson?!" Dwight Howard scowls from below.

"Well, Dwight, you might notice that there are no members of the Miami heat here today. Because the Miami Heat now threaten us all. The empty soulless superstars that have banded together in South Beach have done so for more than just easy women. They have done it for rings---Rings they plan to prevent us from getting. We have a word for such creatures, Lord Vega?"

Pau Gasol speaks up, "Nazgul."

"These Nazgul, led by Fallen Jedi Dwayne Wade, look to rule over the league for many years to c--"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

A booming, baritone laugh echoes through the citadel, shaking the walls, as a larger-than-life center makes his presence felt.

"You STILL can't do it without me, can ya, Kob?!"

Massive arms folded, Shaq's white teeth flash against his dark skin, a strange contrast to the green uni he now wears. Beside him, no less imposing, is the Celtic of War, Kevin Garnett. Garnett's eyes glint like a Cheshire cat---one that is seven feet tall, violent, and insane.

He smiles, "This time, Mamba......"

"THERE WILL BE BLOOD!"

(Continued)

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Bawful have an open mind. I miss Tippy Toine and would enjoy him back in the league for sheer hilarity or the most amazing basketball story since the autistic kid hitting 6 3's in a game

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Methinks these links have relevance:

link 1

link 2

link 3

Blogger Murcy said...
lordhenry... could you possibly allow me to make love to your comment? for days? please continue this

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
It's come to the point that I can only criticize. There's no was Lord Mamba would admit to being threatened by anything!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Can you honestly see Rubio going up against a physically stronger PG and not getting man handled to the point CSI would have to be called in?" - you mean someone like derrick rose?

"Deron Williams will probably dance a jig every time he has to go up against a guy who looks like a reject from Menudo." - I didn't see him dance a lot during that olympic final

Anonymous Heretic said...
@ anonymous

Derrick Rose isn't a guy I would class as a physical PG. He relies more on his quickness than out muscling his opposition. Now Fisher is a PG that loves bullying smaller PGs.

"I didn't see him dance a lot during that olympic final" - Oh he danced but on the inside, it was an interpretive dance to enya's "sail away" and it was beautiful.

Look I'm not saying Rubio will be godawful and complete crap but like a lot of euro players he'll get a bit of a shock in the faster, more physical NBA. Slowly but surely he'll adapt but then again he'll be on the Timberpoops.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
FYI, Ricky (gotta be cool and call him by his first name) is 6'4", 180 lbs. At 19. For comparison to other names dropped here,
Jason Williams is 6'1", 190 lbs;
Nash is 6'3", 195 lbs;
Deron Williams is 6'3", 210 lbs;
Derrick Rose is 6'3", 190 lbs;
Billups is 6'3", 205 lbs;
Fisher is 6'1", 200 lbs;
Antoine Walker is 6'8", 224 lbs.

The hardest thing he'll have to adapt to is the cold inland weather of Minnesota, which is like the exact opposite of Barcelona.

Also,
"Look I'm not saying Rubio will be godawful and complete crap but like a lot of euro/high school/college/undrafted players he'll get a bit of a shock in the faster, more physical NBA."
FTFY.

Blogger ErikC said...
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news;_ylt=ApQXLmh1GTmAnbkL1AMdmt5zK7J_?slug=ap-antoinewalker-bankruptcy

Antoine filed bankrupty in the past. This explains everything about his comeback http://bit.ly/9ihnAT

Anonymous Heretic said...
Gotta disagree, there is a huge difference between guys that played bball in the states and guys that come from Europe. Europeans are just flat out soft, there are a few notable exceptions but for the most part it looks like they took their bball tips from the Pillsbury dough boy.

Once again the stats mean nothing. From a physical stand point he's a bit scrawny but nothing alarming. But from what i've seen in the olympics and worlds, it looks like he's cut from the same cloth that Gasol is. Its not as problematic as having a soft center/forward but when he matches up with bigger/tougher PGs and SGs, little Ricky is going to get abused.

I'm a 80% sure the first thing Fisher will say to him when they meet up is "You sure are pretty, shame what I gotta do to that pretty little mouth."

Anonymous golddigger said...
haha, just laughed my butt with the comments, big difference 3 years can make.

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