dicks pussies assholes 1-001

dicks pussies assholes 2-001

dicks pussies assholes 3-001

dicks pussies assholes 4-001

dicks pussies assholes 5-001

Editor's note: In case you didn't recognize it, this post owes a giant tip 'o the hat to the classic "Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes" speech from Team America: World Police. And Kevin Garnett's potty mouth, of course.

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26 Comments:
Anonymous MdT said...
Too funny to be true. This is propably the funniest thing I´ve read in the last decade.

Blogger Will said...
this post had me in stitches. great way to start the day. that has to be one of the best monologues in any movie.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Wow, it's been awhile since I've seen that movie. America, fuck yeah.

Another solid press conference. It's like the players and coaches intentionally make the goofiest faces they can during these things. Wait a second. Are they intentionally doing it just to give us fodder for ridiculous comics...?

Blogger Sid said...
Love this. Do keep them coming.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Just a head's up...I made a slight edit so that the refs are the pussies. Just seemed to make more sense. Makes some of the monologue better, IMHO.

Blogger BadDave said...
Ray Allen's absence is noted. He must have still been on the court, missing shots.

Blogger Dan B. said...
BadDave -- He was shuffling through the Lost And Found box, looking for his jump shot.

Blogger BadDave said...
Maybe he just needs a little assistance, Reggie-style.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Maybe he just needs a little assistance, Reggie-style.

Awesome.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Maybe he just needs a little assistance, Reggie-style.

This video absolutely made my day. Thank you.

Blogger Sid said...
Same here. Best commercial I ever saw. Good to know bawful stuff is mocked and celebrated so well elsewhere too.

Blogger Adam said...
http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/16595/when-instant-replay-shows-too-much

Post on the instant replay junk and the rule about it. My favorite quote: "As it stands right now, under certain instant replay triggers, for instance by example, a made basket at the end of the period, if you have a trigger and it's reviewed, the system does allow you to review whether or not the clock expired, whether the field goal was called correctly as a 2 or 3, whether or not the shooter committed a boundary line violation, whether or not the 24-second clock expired, it also allows you to determine whether there was an eight-second backcourt violation. But it just does not allow for you to review matters involving judgment calls, or subjective calls."

Wait, what? Determining whether a last second basket counts or not based on if it's left the player's hand in time or if it's a two pointer or three pointer based on a millimeter's measurement of foot position are NOT judgment calls and therefore allowed, but a foul somehow isn't?

Blogger Jeff said...
That is some funny shit. Well done.

Blogger Will said...
"Reggie, do you shave in the dark? Cuz you got (K)nicks all over you."
So THAT's what I'm doing wrong.

Anonymous Barry said...
These comics are glorious.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
what happened to Paul "I'm the best player in the world" Pierce???!

Anonymous Tree said...
I was offended by your prolific use of the word 'pussy'. That's offensive and demeaning to women everywhere.

Sincerely,
Everyone that hijacked yesterday's WoTN

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Tree - PUSSY ALSO MEANS CAT LOL


Anyways, the best part of this was Kobe's serious/dreamy face after the Rondo thought bubbles. I have no idea why that cracked me up so much.

Anonymous melon307 said...
honestly...every time baby does that lip-licking thing he started or whenever he just sticks out his tongue after a big shot...i swear...its an offense to humanity...

and im pretty sure it scares anyone under 6'4" (including me and apparently rondo) that we're next on baby's dinner menu...

http://i46.tinypic.com/2mryu6a.gif

Anonymous Tree said...
Touché

In that case, I'm sure somewhere a cat owner is offended.

"A dick in Whiskers!?! I won't stand for it!"

Blogger Don said...
Insanely funny.

Fisher's reply to Doc Rivers brought tears.

Anonymous anonymous said...
say no to bestiality.

Anonymous Marylander said...
LOL @ Ray Allen jokes

Blogger Basketbawful said...
The really unfortunate thing is that I couldn't find any Ray Allen press conference pics after the game. I had some good jokes prepared and everything...

Anonymous Sorbo said...
There are no Ray Allen press conference photos because he had shown up three hours before the first question to practice his excuses.

That joke not funny, how about this: Ray Allen continued his no-show from game 3 after failing to appear at the press conference.

These comments are both "meh" at best.

Blogger Fishy said...
Doc Rivers picture is perfect for the dialogue, awesome job...

While I agree with him that Fisher has flopped a few times... has he not watched his own players in all his tape sessions? Allen and Fisher should have a contest in my opinion.

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