Big Baby needs his own personal bucket-and-towel guy following him 24/7

I love the Finals and all, but I hate the way everything gets overanalyzed. See the "Was it a foul? Is the hand always part of the ball?" discussion for example. Can't we just move on and look forward to Game 5?

Worst of Game 4 in Pictures:

"I'm telling you, that wasn't a foul. You can trust this face, right?"

...Thank God for compression shorts

Derek Fisher is apparently a fan of Jamie Foxx on In Living Color

NBA Finals - Game 5:
Lakers at Celtics - ABC, 8:00pm
Series tied 2-2

This is the first time since 2006 that the Finals are tied after four games. In the previous 25 series that were tied after four games, the winner of Game 5 won 19 of them. Whether that trend continues in this series, however, isn't very certain. By Game 7, Kobe, Gasol, Pierce, and Rondo may start having narcoleptic attacks and fall asleep on the court simply from exhaustion. If we have an overtime game, it might as well be the equivalent of sudden death since only one team will have time to score thanks to running in slow-motion.

Also, here is a must-watch video of Kobe getting his ass whupped on a Pop-a-Shot arcade basketball game on Jimmy Kimmel's show. His frustration is glorious.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...
I come to this blog to catch up on the NBA without the pain of actually having to watch the games, and what do I get in return? A drool-spewing man-bear and a terrifying KG self-snugging camel toe. Way to abuse the customers, guys.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Just because you don't want to watch the games doesn't mean you get a free pass, buddy. We're dragging you down with us.

Anonymous Barry said...
It's kind of odd to see people cheering on a game of Pop-A-Shot. Don't they have anything better to do?

Kobe blocking his shot is glorious though. He's laughing throughout but you just know he'll take this out on someone. I just hope it's not my beloved Celtics.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I've discovered that I absolutely LOVE watching people get yellow cards for flopping in soccer.

This needs to get fixed in the NBA now.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anaconda - Me too, but do you really think NBA refs would be any better at calling that than the calls they miss now? I mean, isn't really unsportsmanlike conduct?

Dan B. - I didn't mean to lash out, but those images really hurt, like bamboo under the fingernails.

WV "wompiga" - Algonquin name for Big Baby?

Blogger Vasco said...
AnacondaHL I don't know how much of a soccer fan are you but I've been watching it my whole life and soccer rules are awful. The way the game is officiated made me stop watching it almost entirely. The punishement for flopping just doesn't work. There are many times where the player gets the penalty anyway and there are some others where there should be a penalty and not only the referee doesn't give the penalty but also unfairly gives the yellow card to the attacker. This is to say that since that rule has been used I don't see any effect on the way players flop in soccer. It is so shitty because, if a defender has the ball protecting it near his own area and the attacker is pressuring him with his body it's an easy flop for the defender, the ref always calls it. The same play the other way around meaning a penalty or a dangerous free kick is never called. And it is very rar for you to see an attacker getting a second yellow card for flopping which means ejection. It's like now they won't give Perkins another tech so easily you know? It doesn't make sense.

My opinion is, if you want to throw yourself on the ground and leave me wide open with the ball that is your poor choice.

Anonymous Sorbo said...
AnacondaHL: There's something so right about yellow cards for flopping. After watching Portugal's flop-a-thon in 2006, this year's World Cup is a million times better. (Also, the hand is never apart of the ball in soccer.)


After losing pop-a-shot, Kobe will take every waking second this summer to develop his pop-a-shot game. He'll go to Hakeem's to learn wrist-flip techniques and will talk to Barkley on how best to score over 70 after eating two pizzas.

Anonymous that guy said...
Kobe's pop-a-shot block reminds me of this :


Classic Mamba.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
The 2 yellow cards against Germany were well chosen, pretty much obvious fakes with no one near pushing them. Something like this should happen for the NBA too.

Jessica Alba's about to go on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Guuurgle

Anonymous Sorbo said...
I'm I the only one who sees the outline of KG's balls in that picture? Not that I'm looking, it's just...maybe I was looking.

Anonymous Sorbo said...
Speaking of Kimmel. He had a funny bit after Game 2 where he had his hispanic security guard, Guillermo, go to the Finals press conference. Guillermo gave a synopsis of Sex and the City 2 to every player he could find. Wallace looks like he could kill him. Awesome.


Blogger Will said...
Vasco- I completely agree with you about the great inconsistency in refereeing. I would love it if they would call the players' bluffs. Also, there needs to be a way to work relegation into the NBA. That seems like the most effective way to prevent tanking.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Uhm, Jesus Christ that rondo drive and layup with the right hand spin off the glass was crazy awesome.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Uhm, Jesus Christ that rondo drive and layup with the right hand spin off the glass was crazy awesome.

Yes it was. Apparently it was so awesome that Artest was overpowered by Rondo's awesomeness, which caused him to get launched backwards like Malibu on American Gladiators. (I loved Jeff Van Gundy's reaction. "Say Queensbridge now, Artest!")

Anonymous Anonymous said...
That was a TERRIBLE offensive foul call on Rondo. Kobe was in the restricted area AND left his feet.

Anonymous DKH said...
Couple points:

1. Why haven't the Celtics figured out how to do the proverbial "last play of the quarter" yet?

2. How is there a two-minute argument over whether that is a technical on Rondo? He pushed Artest clearly after the whistle. Not even ambiguous.

Personally, I thought that should be a flagrant on Artest, though. I didn't see him make any play on the ball, really. He seemed content to just push Garnett down rather than actually try to defend, but I didn't see it that closely.

Blogger Dan B. said...
DKH -- According to the rules, yeah, that was a technical on Rondo. However, that's just because Stern butchered the rule book to make the sport look more appealing to an audience that doesn't care about the NBA and won't ever care about the NBA. In theory calling a technical for that is supposed to help the refs "control the floor." All it does it take the balls away from the sport.

(Why, yes, I am an advocate of fighting in hockey, why do you ask?)

Anonymous Karc said...
Bryant - 4-12, 10 points
Pierce - 7-10, 15 points, Rondo 5-8, 10 points

Lakers are shooting 33.3 percent, and really, that should be closer to 25 percent. Bynum has had no impact on this game, and now the Lakers are resorting to the refs to bail them out. Agree with Anonymous, that was not an offensive foul on Rondo, the T on Rondo was a total acting job by Artest (if that's a legit T, than Artest should have gotten one for shoving down Garnett), and Fisher getting free throws was another acting job when Allen totally forced an airball. Lakers are not winning this game, at all. They are done. Good riddance.

Anonymous DKH said...
Lol Dan B. My dad hates sports in general, but likes hockey "because it's fast-paced and there's fights." Can't say I disagree. Put those in soccer (and move the beehive away from the camera) and I might actually enjoy watching it.

Sorbo, that Jimmy Kimmel clip was gold.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
DKH - Bill Simmons names it "Clogged Toilet Offense", but it's true. Just awful. I blame Doc Rivers.

Karc - Lakers are rebounding it strong despite Bynum grimacing on every jump. Lakers lose if Kobe goes all hero mode in the third, but they can make a run with momentum plays and some more 3s.

Also Ray Allen looks shaken out there.

Anonymous Fludbob said...
Those zuluvulvas are so annoying. The blatant diving is hysterical. The the .... man, the NBA on espn is ASS. But the pics on bawful are bawesomeful.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Oh, also look at the turnovers at the half (11 Boston to 6 LA) and the shooting (66% to 33%).

Lakers are still in this.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Also, I think I'm the only person in a non-African continent that likes the horns. They are funny to hear on the streets in celebration (like all over Germany).

Although The "Ole ole-ole-ole" and country specific chants are much cooler to hear at the games.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Uhm, fuck Kobe and all that, but that one-handed lob redirect was awesome.

Blogger Dan B. said...
If anybody other than Kobe shot a three pointer from that far behind the line, I would not have been surprised if they got sent to the bench, even if it went in. Ridiculous.

Blogger Will said...
Why is Wade wearing a winter coat in the Garden?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Uhm, Jesus Christ that Tony Allen block on Gasol was awesome. Immediate WotN material.

Blogger 49er16 said...
Holy Shit Rondo!

Anonymous Karc said...
@AnacondaHL - Kobe went hero mode in the third quarter. Like you said, the Lakers lose.

They never had a chance, never. 2 out of the big three stepped up. Rondo getting an O-board putback over Odom. Pierce getting 27 legit. Yeah, Boston in 6.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Well despite Joey Crawford's efforts to bring LA back into it, and Ray Allen's continued brickfest, and the classy Boston crowd throwing shit at Kobe, and Phil's WIRED segment dissing Boston "knowing how to lose in the 4th quarter", and WotN KG losing that tip to Derek Fisher, it looks like Boston's pulling out with the W.

And the ball is spinning after hitting the rim on the Ray Allen brick. Not that hard of a call.

Anonymous Karc said...
Trevor Ariza would not have bricked those two free throws, Ron Artest.

Down goes LA. :)

Anonymous Karc said...
Sorry for the double post, but now the Lakers scoring in this series is 102, 94, 91, 89, 86. And this is with Byrant scoring 38. Not just in trouble, dead. They aren't winning Game 6, even with the refs trying to help them.

Blogger Adam said...
You know, I finally have to say it, whether this post gets approved or not: Fuck you Karc. Other than Yams a little bit, there was next to no gloating after each Laker win but you're here with no fewer than six trolling posts per game. So much for the ever present Laker trolls, huh? I guess it's different when you're rooting for the "right" team as far as the site is concerned but the Celtics masturbating is getting a little old.

Also, stay classy Boston fans. You're like a puke green sea of human sewage.

I try to keep things generally nice whether my team wins or loses (previous paragraph notwithstanding) but you're coming across as a typical Masshole right now.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Some more awe-inspiring work from Crazy Pills.

Ridiculous 3rd from Kobe, but it didn't put in a dent in the C's lead. Mamba and four corpses out there ain't getting it done.

Inconsistent reffing as usual, whaddaya gonna do. Lakers lost this game bad calls or no bad calls.

Blogger senormedia said...
I had to smack myself in the 4th quarter/fouling time when I found myself yelling "Put in Sheed for Perkins."

Blogger senormedia said...
Phil's WIRED segment dissing Boston "knowing how to lose in the 4th quarter"

Don't think that won't be on the bulletin board in the Celtics locker room when they go to LA.

Blogger Nathan said...
I have closed captioning / sub titles turned on for my PVR (baby is sleeping) and this device, in its infinite wisdom, has given d-fish the names "Fish Herb" and "Fibber.". I'm honestly not sure which is more accurate, but they are certainly equally delicious,

Lanky Nathan

Blogger Ely said...
I feel so sorry for Kobe because he has to babysit the entire team, and I know its been said before and will be said again, but seeing Ron Ron at the end of the game, I couldn't help but think about Ariza..

Blogger Adam said...
(Sorry for communicating this way but I don't have any of your direct emails and I use my Google account so I don't have a "real" Blogger account.)

Yeah, I didn't expect a post calling out pro-Celtics trolling to get approved on this site with this audience. Thanks, guys.

I suspect the "fuck you" is what did me in but he's been such an asshole the whole Finals that I had to say it whether or not it got approved. You can reach me at sealman13@yahoo.com if you want to share exactly what it was, but I'm not expecting anything.

Anonymous AK Dave said...

The second yellow on Cacau was iffy. He didn't get hit, but if he hadn't jumped, he would have taken what would have been the 56th kick from an Aussie player to a German player's shins. He embellished a little, but I'm not sure it was yellow-worthy.

Australia was a step behind Germany the whole game, and they fouled the crap out of them because of it. The first dive was totally bogus, and I also love that they give a yellow for the flop. But the second... eh, I'm not entirely convinced.

Germany looks fucking scary right now, BTW. So much for that vaunted Aussie defense. That was a clinical dissection by Die Mannschaft.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
So much fail from tonight. Almost everyone involved did something bawful. I eagerly await the WotN.

Blogger Sam Lively said...
I believe that Kendrick Perkins' mad attempt at leading and finishing a full-speed fast break despite having multiple guards in range for an easy pass, obviously the result of demonic possession (in fact such plays really should be called demonic possessions), is worthy of WotN mention.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Adam, I haven't been trolling at all after Laker wins in this series. After Game 3 I didn't even say anything. Karc's been an asshole for as long as he's been on this site though. My advice to you is to ignore him.

Back to this series though, like I said during the WCFs, if LA played defense like that against Boston they'd never beat them, and tonight was a prime example of what I was talking about. Letting the other team shoot 66% or whatever for most of the game is a recipe for disaster, no matter how well Kobe plays.

Anonymous Karc said...
Hey, when I'm wrong, I'm wrong. But when I'm right, I'm an "asshole." Goes with the territory.

Look, there are aspects of the Lakers that are good. Their offense should be great, despite the Celtics defense. You saw it in Game 1, and for most of Game 2. But I am very sick of watching a Jordan-wannabe insist on taking over a game when he's got a front line that should score 60 on a whim. Meanwhile, the other teams play great team defense despite their youth (OKC), play tough-as-nails despite their height issues (Utah), or run a great offense and put enough effort on defense to give themselves a fighting chance (Suns).

There is a very simple reason why there are no Laker trolls around here. At this point, very few of them actually believe that the Lakers are going to win the series, even after they win a single game. The days off was supposed to benefit the Lakers. Celtics won both Sunday games. Artest was supposed to stop Pierce. Didn't work tonight. The front line of the Lakers was supposed to be better than the Celtics. The Celtics have outrebounded LA in every game they won. That's effort right there. The Lakers are the only team in the NBA where I get the vibe that they feel like they win when they absolutely have to. Well, it's no longer a vibe.

This is a team game. LeBron James is learning this the hard way. Dwight Howard is learning this the hard way. The thing that should piss off Laker fans (and not my "trolling") is Kobe Byrant already learned this, or so we thought, 5 years ago, when he had a starting line-up of Smush Parker and Kwame Brown. So bad he was willing to go to the Clippers. I mean, you get Pau Gasol, and he's getting 12 and 12 in the most important game of the season? The one-time deepest bench in the NBA is now Lamar Odom, and he only gets you 8 and 8, and that hilarious "ugly sister" chant. I can't blame Andrew Bynum, the dude is barely in his 20s and he's playing on one leg at this point (BTW, AnacondaHL, one rebound for the entire game, but the guy is clearly hurt). But there was talk of using Josh Powell to combat Big Baby, he didn't play. Mbenga is a big dude that can clog the paint. Phil Jackson says that his head's not in the game because he hasn't played in so long. Luke Walton simply can't go, he tried in the second quarter and Pierce embarrassed him. Farmar played 15 minutes and scored 1 stinking point. And people get on me for ripping this team. Yes, Glen Davis laid an egg in almost the same amount of time, but because he's an actual scoring threat now, that gives Rondo movement to come off screens. And he gets rebounds. No one on that Celtics team is afraid of Jordan Farmar. Team game.

All that, and the Lakers might have still won the game if they hadn't bonked 9 free throws. There's your Lakers love. You still have two home games. You still have all of the records on your side indicating that the Lakers should win the title. Except the play on the court shows otherwise. By a wide margin.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Do give flopping a special mention in the WotN. Holy crap. I've never seen so many flops by so many different players in 1 game. By the end of the 4th no one was even playing anymore. Just throwing shit up awkwardly at the rim and flailing around on defense to draw a whistle.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Oh god, I paused my Tivo and laughed for a minute straight after that Perkins fastbreak.

Also seeing Wade go "Dayumn" at one of Kobe's shots was hilarious.

Anonymous ChrisLTD said...
In game 4 Kobe screwed the Lakers with his attempts at heroism. He took terrible shots early in the clock and never let his team get involved.

Game 5 was totally different. In quarters 1 and 2 Kobe recognized he was getting the sh*t kicked out of him by the Celtics defense. There was rarely a second in this game where a Celtics defender didn't have their hands on package. As a result, Kobe passed and passed often. Guess what happened off those passes. Nothing. Kobe's teammates bricked shot after shot.

Then during the 3rd quarter when the Lakers needed Bryant to keep them in the game, their defense got even worse. Seriously, how many point blank uncontested shots did the Celtics get in 3rd?

In previous Lakers losses I sympathized with the idea that Gasol should have been more heavily utilized. Game 5 convinced me otherwise. Gasol, even with Bynum in the game, could not get going and seemed weary after the punishment the Celtics have been giving him in the paint.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I think the year Derek Fisher retires, the NBA will include flopping into that unsportsmanlike conduct technical foul rule. I hope. This is like the wearing a seatbelt or using a cell phone while driving laws, it just needs to happen one day.

Don't forget, there's no extended rest for the last two games, and today is the travel day. I'd put money on there being a Game 7, since KG was missing some easy rebounds out there (easy for him), among other things making the Celtics look more tired than the Lakers.

See you in 24 hours for the referee assignments.

Blogger Adam said...
Karc: I never addressed the way the Lakers played because it wasn't really about that. I'm not sure they really had any way to win last night, even erasing the five to six totally made up offensive fouls against them. It's the constant gloating and trolling on a site that otherwise does a good job of filtering that out. That's it.

Anonymous Karc said...
Minor gloating at best. I admit I made a mistake when I compared the Lakers to the Nets, I'm usually better than that. But I mostly try to keep it related to the game. As you can see, you are more than welcome to tell me to fuck off, despite you supporting the losing team (I kid, I kid).

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