Some people can feel alone in a locker room full of teammates (coughStephonMarburycough), while others long for a sense of privacy so complete they'd like to construct a little soundproof room inside of another room and thus realize their dream of complete and total isolation from mankind. Well, if you're that kind of raging agoraphobe, then Yamaha's My Room II is probably for you.
My Room II: When your sad little life isn't prison enough.
My Room II is a fully-enclosed vault for one that acts as a little home inside your home, providing silence and sanctuary from life's annoying distractions. Like, for instance, the emaciated pet you haven't fed or watered for weeks. (I promise it's feeble moaning and scratching won't bother you inside your self-imposed exile.) Or the parent who keeps screaming at you to "stop playing that [expletive] 'World of Warships' game and get a [double-expletive] job!" (Sure thing, mom. Let me know next time you see an opening for "Death Knight" or "Shaman" on Monster.com.)

MRII is "1.5 Tatami mats" big -- which apparently works out to about four and a half by six feet -- so there's only enough room for you, a (small) desk, a chair and your entertainment device of choice. But hey, MRII users WANT to be alone. So very, very alone. In addition to insulation from all things human, MRII also offers touch panel controls, air conditioning, and an adjustable lighting system. Yeah, it's a little pricy as far as "escape from the world" products go: ¥664,650 (about $6,500). But you have to admit, it sure beats masturbating to Internet porn at the public library. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

I think you can buy MRII on Yamaha's official site, but I don't speak Yamahaese, so who knows. However, despite my linguistic ignorance, I did discover a series of diagrams that show off the many uses of My Room II. Such as: Studying!


Watching TV!


Rock starring!


And "hobby"! Which, uh, I guess involves cutting things up with a knife. Which isn't all that surprising if you think about it, since every potential MRII user is probably a serial killer just waiting to happen.

Not pictured: Your choice of victims.

Labels: Christmas list, complete and total isolation, My Room II