I was going to post an update about The White Man Jump Challenge, but it's Friday and I'm both very busy and really lazy. (Yes, I know that's a paradox. Whatever.) So, instead, here are a couple of "deleted scenes" from The Dark Knight: "Alfred's Rant" and "Joker's Dilemma." The part of Alfred is played by Evil Ted. Originally, I was supposed to portray The Batman, but ET recast the role...with his son. Hooray for nepotism!
Here's a bonus video that I can't stop laughing at. Be warned: Your funny bone might explode, so be careful viewing this at work. Also, if you're drinking something, I suggest you go ahead and swallow before you press "play."
IMPORTANT NOTE: I have been forcefully informed that the following video has been around for a while and that fact has reduced its humor to less than "nil" (which my numberologist says is the same as "zero"). That makes the humor value a negative number, meaning that actual funniness might be subtracted from your life by watching it. In other words: Assume you genuinely laughed at something today. In that case, clicking "play" could create an angry midget dressed as James A. Garfield -- our 20th president! -- who would travel back in time and kick you in the groin (either right or left) before you ever had a chance to laugh...and thus your amusement would no longer exist, which would lead to you dying cold and alone someday. So, you know, view it at your own considerable risk.