I was going to post an update about The White Man Jump Challenge, but it's Friday and I'm both very busy and really lazy. (Yes, I know that's a paradox. Whatever.) So, instead, here are a couple of "deleted scenes" from The Dark Knight: "Alfred's Rant" and "Joker's Dilemma." The part of Alfred is played by Evil Ted. Originally, I was supposed to portray The Batman, but ET recast the role...with his son. Hooray for nepotism!


Here's a bonus video that I can't stop laughing at. Be warned: Your funny bone might explode, so be careful viewing this at work. Also, if you're drinking something, I suggest you go ahead and swallow before you press "play."

IMPORTANT NOTE: I have been forcefully informed that the following video has been around for a while and that fact has reduced its humor to less than "nil" (which my numberologist says is the same as "zero"). That makes the humor value a negative number, meaning that actual funniness might be subtracted from your life by watching it. In other words: Assume you genuinely laughed at something today. In that case, clicking "play" could create an angry midget dressed as James A. Garfield -- our 20th president! -- who would travel back in time and kick you in the groin (either right or left) before you ever had a chance to laugh...and thus your amusement would no longer exist, which would lead to you dying cold and alone someday. So, you know, view it at your own considerable risk.

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22 Comments:
Blogger AnacondaHL said...
ugh, first 4chan motivational posters, and now a ytmnd classic? Jeez, welcome to internet comedy 2004, what next some lolcats and om nom nom? Maybe I can give you an Internet history crash course so you aren't tempted to post already-beat-the-dead-horse-to-a-decomposing-pulp jokes and you keep your unique comedy flowing.

This backhanded compliment was brought to you by AnacondaHL.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
anacondahl -- I'm so ashamed. If only I'd spent more time over the last few years surfing the 'Net. Let me wipe the egg off my face. Feel free to provide a list of the Internet phenomenons you don't find funny anymore so I can avoid posting and/or referencing them in the future. Thank you.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Time moves at a different velocity on the Internet.

Definition with awful examples.
List. If you know less than half on this list, I actually envy your naivety.
Interactive timeline.

The more you know. But don't blame me if your brain explodes from the destruction of your faith in humanity with this kind of Internet overstimulation, you asked.

Blogger kbfan said...
Hey Basketbawful, I found a knew good Word of the Day: "Trash-Talk-Face" a face only given when istigating trash talk. (from Too much Rod Bensen via BDL)

Anonymous manic said...
No mention of the suspensions from the Suns/Rockets game. Barnes=2 games, Nash=1 game, Alston=2 games (noted he did throw 2 punches at Nash), McGoogleEye Grady=no games (he did throw Nash to the ground). Nothing said of the ref who was standing 2 inches from the start of the altercation, a Barnes shoulder into Rafer. Maybe we needed Joey "I like the sound of my own whistle" Crawford to be at that game, then maybe some justice would have been done.

Blogger Clifton said...
Suns are also without Barbosa indefinitely; he's gone home to Brazil upon the passing of his mother.

Ladies and gentlemen, premiering tonight at the Arco Arena, a one-night-only engagement: The Sean Singletary Show!

Blogger Basketbawful said...
anacondahl -- Less than half.

kbfan -- Mmm. Gonna have to look into that...

manic -- It will get mentioned.

Blogger Jim in KFalls said...
Are those who watch it more than once considered masochists?

I'd like to see two midget Garfields running around at the same time trying to kick each other in the nuts.

That would be true hilarity....

Anonymous AK Dave said...
anacondahl- I barely knew 20% of that list. I am thoroughly impressed A) that you knew of said list and B) that you would know over half of the items on it.

All I knew about (aside from youtube and some of the really popular ones) was "Ask a Ninja" and "All your base are belong to us"- Engrish.

Maybe I should leave my woman, stop going out on weekends, quit exercising altogether, open a WOW account, and buy a blackberry so that I can surf the web uninterrupted all day. Then, maybe then, I could cease to be naive- if I worked at it daily. Until that day, I bow to your unbelievable internet "savvy"

:D

PS- I was surprised that "omnomnomnom.com" wasn't on the list...

(/about to visit omnomnomnom.com right now)

Blogger Clifton said...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEGd3VPNJbs

Molly is hot. Oh, redheads... why do you affect me so?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Ugh. I just counted. Now I'm depressed. Out of the 99 things currently listed, I'm unfortunately familiar with atleast 70, by my first count. Not really my proudest moment (insert failblog pic here). Mostly SomethingAwful and YTMND's fault, not including the horrible derivations missing from the list in the goatse/2girls category. Perhaps my consideration to buy my first "internet communications device" type phone should be reevaluated...

If anything, for this basketball site, you should atleast see the bawfulness of Boom goes the dynamite (even Kornheiser has said it on PTI)

(and just to attempt to scrape my internet dignity off the floor, I've been WoW-free for 22 months now. Those were dark times.)

I just watched that Batman video 14 times in a row.

I'm not sure if I should jump off a bridge or...watch it again.

Blogger Clifton said...
I was half-joking when I said "the Sean Singletary Show!" earlier, but he may have played himself into the rotation tonight (over Dragic, who has been discussed recently). He and Dragic were statistically similar -- both 2-7 from the floor with 5 points; Dragic was 4-4-3-2 on Reb-A-Stl-TO's while Singletary was 5-1-0-0 in 8 fewer minutes. However, more telling was the fact that Terry Porter had Singletary in there for the last few minutes of regulation and (I think) all of overtime; if it wasn't the entire extra period, it was close. In other words, Singletary was in there during crunch time, although he wasn't really skippering the offense as much as Grant Hill.

One horrific miss aside, the kid did a pretty good job, and seemed to have won over the coaching staff. I keep waiting for Dragic to shake it off -- he DID arrive late in the summer -- but we're 10 games in now, and the time is drawing nigh.

Good entertaining game, though, and a decent win considering they were missing two starters and a 3rd who would have started in one of their spots (Barbosa).

Lack-tion note: Today's pregame article in the Sacramento Bee focused on Donte Greene and the fact that he's "ready to break out" (http://www.sacbee.com/100/story/1396945.html). Evidently, we'll keep waiting... versus the Suns tonight, he posted one personal foul and thus barely avoided a two trillion.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Sorry bawful, I knew about 20% of that list but the motivational posters are pretty 4chan of you. And the constant use of "FAIL." Though you're far from the worst offender. I'm not trying to offend, i'm being honest. You're better than that stuff. To your credit though, it's not so bad I wouldn't say anything if I hadn't seen it brought up by someone else.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@pistons: STATEMENT GAME

(could be a future word of the day)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
In reference to the Suns/Rockets "brawl". Bela Lugosi never played the Frankenstein monster, he played Dracula. It was Boris Karlof who was the monster.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
anonymous -- Do me a favor and visit the IMDB entry (or even the Wikipedia entry) for Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man and tell me that Bela Lugosi never played Frankenstein's monster. I'll happily accept your apology afterward.

Blogger Mintz... said...
random: Steve Nash had 2 blocks tonight...


...wait, What??

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Wait a minute, even Dragic got a block in addition to Nash's 2 blocks! 6 players got BAs on Detriot, 2 or less, so this had to be atleast 2 different people. How did this happen?

Blogger Clifton said...
Amaré apparently thought the best way to get out of his slump would be to rock the 'hawk... compare this photo from the Sacto game and this photo from the Pistons game the next night (not the best angle, there's better shots of the new 'do on any video-highlight reel). It worked, as he went for 29 and 11 tonight.

Could have been a birthday self-present, too, I suppose. After the game, the Suns' radio guys had Amaré on for an interview and broke into Happy Birthday. Al McCoy sang fine, but Tim Kempton tried to find the harmony and failed... miserably.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
It looks like the ref is taking a sneak pick of the nose here. Ex-sherrif Shaqstoradums does not approve.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/photos?photoId=2084749&gameId=281116021

Anonymous Anonymous said...
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/photos?photoId=2084846&gameId=281116023

And I was looking around for man-love photos, and well, this photo just looked dirty with John Salmons going into the pile of man-flesh under his own leg. Then I noticed Tim Duncan's head popping up like a meercat, as if saying "Why are you stopping".

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