I was going to post an update about The White Man Jump Challenge, but it's Friday and I'm both very busy and really lazy. (Yes, I know that's a paradox. Whatever.) So, instead, here are a couple of "deleted scenes" from The Dark Knight: "Alfred's Rant" and "Joker's Dilemma." The part of Alfred is played by Evil Ted. Originally, I was supposed to portray The Batman, but ET recast the role...with his son. Hooray for nepotism!


Here's a bonus video that I can't stop laughing at. Be warned: Your funny bone might explode, so be careful viewing this at work. Also, if you're drinking something, I suggest you go ahead and swallow before you press "play."

IMPORTANT NOTE: I have been forcefully informed that the following video has been around for a while and that fact has reduced its humor to less than "nil" (which my numberologist says is the same as "zero"). That makes the humor value a negative number, meaning that actual funniness might be subtracted from your life by watching it. In other words: Assume you genuinely laughed at something today. In that case, clicking "play" could create an angry midget dressed as James A. Garfield -- our 20th president! -- who would travel back in time and kick you in the groin (either right or left) before you ever had a chance to laugh...and thus your amusement would no longer exist, which would lead to you dying cold and alone someday. So, you know, view it at your own considerable risk.

Labels: Batman on drugs, Evil Ted, no basketball content, The Dark Knight, The Joker