"Hey Tracy, it's cool. I jack it to Sarah Palin too"Some rapid-fire links for your Friday enjoyment:
Bill Walton, back in action. (h/t Trey Kirby for retweeting the link)
If you ever wonder why we have a shot clock in the NBA, just remember that we used to have games
like this. Yes, I am definitely in favor of the 24 second clock.
We're only a couple weeks from pitchers and catchers reporting, so how about a little basebawful?
A collection of the best baseball player names. You really should give this one a read -- you won't be disappointed.
Fantastically random:
Did China try to pass off Top Gun as air force footage?And finally, Russian ripoff of
Mystery Science Theater 3000?
Yep, it exists. Here is a link to
an episode of it, or you can just enjoy the opening sequence in the clip below as we are introduced to the
Joike doppelganger and his friends Fidel the penguin and Ketchup the really creepy dog.
How do you say "what is this I don't even" in Russian?Worst of the Night in Pictures: "High five! Hit me up top!" "Damnit Mark, for the last time, no! We're not even in the same city right now!" Meanwhile, Dirk is positively hypnotized by the ball Mulder and Scully at the Heat game, exploring the mystery of why LeBron just keeps jacking up bad jump shots "..." You know, D'Antoni has a picture like this almost every single game, and it makes me laugh every single timeNationally Televised Friday Games:Celtics at Suns, ESPN, 10:30pm: The C's are on the second night of a back-to-back on the road, have nothing resembling a bench at this point, and are ancient. But the Suns have Vag Carter. Advantage: Celtics.
All The Other Friday Games:Nyets at Pacers, 7pm: The Nyets have lost 7 of their last 8 games against the Pacers. Then again, that's probably about the same for every single team they've played in the past two years, so whatever.
Grizzlies at 76ers, 7pm: It looks like we'll be missing OJ Mayo for a couple weeks since he's been handed down a 10 game suspension for violating the league's drug rules. But hey, all he did was taken an over-the-counter supplement that apparently transforms into a form of steroids once it's in your body. At least it's better than pulling a Manny Ramirez and being pumped full of female fertility drugs. So, there you go, Memphis fans. A little silver lining for your latest cloud.
Bucks at Craptors, 7pm: If the Bucks can't put up 100 points tonight, they won't do it the rest of the season. Unless it's against the Warriors or Suns. Then they could still do it.
Knicks at Hawks, 7:30pm: Big win over the Heat last night for the Knicks... Letdown game? Letdown game.
Nuggets at Cavaliers, 7:30pm: Seriously Cleveland, it's just getting sad at this point. You've proved your point that LeBron screwed you. You can go ahead and start trying again. Wait, you mean you
are trying to win games but just really do suck that bad? (looks at roster) Oh, shit. My bad.
Pistons at Heat, 7:30pm: Yi Jianlian is infamous for posting up a metal folding chair when teams were working him out. I don't think LeBron could post up a beanbag chair.
Magic at Bulls, 8pm: Derrick Rose already has stomach ulcers? Are we sure he's only 22? Or is he like one of those Dominican little league world series guys and is secretly older than Greg Oden?
Wizards Generals at Thunder, 8pm: And the Generals' road losing streak continues.
Timberwolves at Jazz, 9pm: You know you want Kevin Love to be in the All-Star game.
Just look at this commercial!
Bobcraps at Warriors, 10:30pm: The Bobcraps have just owned the Warriors this year. Considering how horrible they were before Paul Silas rejuvenated the team (he's won 10 of his 16 games with the Bobcraps!), that's just sad.
Kings at Lakers, 10:30pm: Oooh, this is going to be ugly.
* * *
Nationally Televised Saturday Games:Hawks at Mavericks, NBA TV, 8:30pm: Pretty solid Simmons piece that includes talks of just how good Dirk Nowitzki is.
All The Other Saturday Games:Pacers at Bulls, 8pm: Let me just sum up the state of the Pacers by quoting a line from
this post at Eight Points Nine Seconds:
But to my knowledge, no teams have ever made the playoffs with both a terrible offense and a terrible defense.
Craptor at Timberwolves, 8pm: Defense? We don't need no stinkin' defense!
Wizards Generals at Grizzlies, 8pm: Want to make certain you don't have sex for the next three months? Take your girlfriend/wife/whatever to a Generals/Care Bears game as an early Valentine's present.
Nyets at Bucks, 8:30pm: This image pretty well sums up this game:
Rockets at Spurs, 8:30pm: You have to think Pops pinches himself after every game wondering if he's dreaming. It just makes no sense that this team is
still as stupidly good as it is.
Hornets at Kings, 10pm: Poor Sacramento. They're going to have to repair smoke damage to their arena, because the Hornets are
on fire.
Bobcraps at Clippers, 10:30pm: Prediction: Blake Griffin does Blake Griffin-type things to make this game slightly interesting. (Yeah, I know, going out on a limb, eh?)
* * *
Nationally Televised Sunday Games:Heat at Thunder, ABC, 1pm: Okay, this is a good way to get your Sunday afternoon going.
Celtics at Lakers, ABC, 3:30pm: Ooh! How much better can this day get?
Jazz at Warriors, ESPN, 10pm: ...and nevermind.
All The Other Sunday Games:Cavaliers at Magic, 6pm: Yeah, I get that the Magic have slowed down after their hot winning streak, but c'mon. It's the Cavaliers. Honestly.
Nuggets at 76ers, 6pm: Story from Philly.com: "
Sixers have shot at .500 record." Lofty aspirations in Philly right now, I see.
Pistons at Knicks, 7:30pm: I have nothing interesting to say about this game, so I'm just gonna link you to
this picture and caption that absolutely killed me. (via
JE Skeets and
Gourmet Spud)
Hornets at Suns, 8pm: Hey, stop me if you've heard this one before, but you know what? The Suns are really good at offense and really bad at defense. What? You've heard that one before? Well, darn.
Labels: Bawful After Dark
http://i55.tinypic.com/doq3xx.gif
http://i52.tinypic.com/ormt0w.gif
It almost made me want to wear Kevin's fragrance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFgsLKuD704
(And considering I write most of this stuff either late at night or while on my lunch break at my actual job, fact checking is not exactly a big priority. That's why I have anonymous readers who will quickly yell at me for making one mistake but never tell me if they actually enjoy something I write)
Preveen -- Slow-motion video analysis of Manu flopping should be required film study for any young player hoping to draw fouls. Dude is apparently the goddamn Picasso of flopping.
I'm calling it right now, the Lakers are as good as dead. The last thing you want is KG playing with a head of steam after a miserable performance like that.
Gotta love it!
I wonder if Stern would suspend KG for doing something like that (after all, Kobe got suspended a few years ago for flailing and hitting Manu Ginobili in the face, with it being called an "unnatural" basketball act). I'd have to think with the Celtics next game being against the Lakers, Stern wouldn't want to mess with his ratings bonanza and will let Garnett slide on this one.
That said, the most obvious disparity on the stat sheet was the 51% shooting the Kings managed to put up while the home team only made 41% of their shots. Plus a slight rebound advantage in the same direction.
Not the best way to celebrate the occasion of Kobe moving into 8th place on the all-time scoring list (10th NBA/ABA).
I don't know why Kobe would come out looking to jack it up so much like that (whether it was to quickly pass Hakeem or whether it was some kind of reaction to Abbott's piece or just cause Kobe hates the Kings or whatever), but whenever Kobe does that it frequently works out poorly for the Lakers. It's better to have him facilitating at the start and pick up his offense in the second quarter or second half. Supposedly Pau Gasol looked particularly disinterested tonight (from what I've read), and if true it wouldn't surprise me if that was a direct result of Kobe's chucking. Gasol has expressed his displeasure with Kobe when he has done that in the past.
being a Suns fan and hating ESPN, listening to this tell me EXACTLY why Marc Jackson is not hired as a coach!
Yes, I heaved a mighty sigh when I heard that. GG, China. You broke the all-star system, which was pretty crappy to begin with.
"Dude is apparently the goddamn Picasso of flopping."
I wonder what his training regimen is? Manu's diary: "Today, get faux tripped 50 times, take 50 illusory charges, and fling up my arms for 50 fake arm hacks in the act of shooting."
And so pleased that Divac gets some flop love. Yeah, don't think about that term too hard. Ouch! And again.
Anybody know the scoop on Walton and broadcasting? It's a mixed bag: he's always been a bit of a pompous blowhard, but his quirks are hilarious, he knows a lot, and he has always been comfortable pointing out BS NBA officiating and other crazy crap. I've wondered whether this latter got him black-listed by Stern in his usual Gestapo tactics.
Teen Wolf is a perfect analogy! Can we call that Kobe phase "Teen Mamba?" But wait, didn't Michael J. Fox figure it out finally?
Also, Kobe didn't jack first 11 shots. Please check ball by ball possessions. Kobe got aggressive at the middle of the first quarter because his teammates were sleep walking. My personal opinion is that Kobe just doesn't decide tonight I will force more shots instead it is forced upon him. Body language is a big sign. If his teammates are zombie like 3 hours before the game, how do u think they will play on court.
I am not defending Kobe just for the sake of it , just pointing to the fact anyone seen last night's game would have realized majority of the game it was Kobe who was trying to make plays and looked energized. Kobe was the only one with positive plus/minus stat in the starters.
Wait, what?
WOW!
PAUPERS!
Douchebag.
I think the floppery accusations need to be confined to those who really flop: fall over with little or no contact. Taking a legit charge is not a flop. Falling backwards when guarding a post player is. Faking definitely is, perfectly illustrated by the Raja/Manu clip. Manu is king, IMHO.
Ignition:
"I tried to listen to Lil B and my mind wouldn't let me do it....can't believe this guy is relevant"
Response:
"BROTHER I BET I CAN BEAT U IN BASKETBALL 1 ON 1 U AND ME IL BET MY RAPPING SKILLS IM BETTER THEN YOU AT HOOP @KDthunderup - Lil B"
"@LILBTHEBASEDGOD ima better rapper than u"
LilB: "@KDthunderup AFTER I BEAT U IN BASKETBALL IMA FORCE U TO LISTEN TO MY MUSIC AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR GIRLS LISTEN TO IT AS WELL - Lil B"
KD: "@LILBTHEBASEDGOD bet it..if I win u gotta stop rappin forever"
The battle is set:
"4sho RT @LILBTHEBASEDGOD: FOLLLOW ME @KDthunderup AND LETS SET UP A 1 ON 1 BASKETBALL MATCH IF I LOOSE IL RETIRE FROM RAPPING - Lil B"
KD, can't quite believe someone is that stupid:
"This guy @LILBTHEBASEDGOD really wanna play 1on1..he must got that hennesy in that wonton soup he sippin"
Back to the beginning, how bad could LilB be?
Oh. Yea, I'm siding with Durant on this one.
LOL Kevin Love impression !!
Sadly, LilB wins by this: lots of free publicity for a no-talent hack. Durant would have done better to completely ignore him.
That said, free publicity doesn't necessarily mean more sales/air time.
In other news, Woj says Jim O'Brien was fired. Apparently due to failing to make the Pacers mediocre.
They had everyone healthy (Barnes and Jermaine O'Neal both were out so don't give me that) and they got outrebounded, outshot and outhustled.
Hope the Phoenix game woke the Celtics up and they go on a nice run here.
Now, I'm sure Alan and Garnett knew they would be getting more touches despite Pierce's hot shooting night, partially because Boston simply plays a much more cogent offense than the Lakers, but it still doesn't excuse the Lakers' attitudes.
Pau Gasol has played for a while like a man with something to prove. Now that he feels he's proven it, he allows himself to go back to his primadonna act when things aren't going his way. That's not on Kobe, that's on him.
Can't blame Kobe for going "hero mode" this time. It was blatantly obvious that Gasol, Bynum, and Odom were absolute crap, helped by the Celtics playing their game.
Can we start a movement to get Lakers home games banned from ABC during the regular season? Blown out by Cleveland and Miami on X-Mas, then by San Antonio and Portland last year, and Boston today.
And yes, East>West. At least the Thunder fought back.
Eddie House is a prick for that "big balls" dance, maybe the only time this year that I was rooting for the Thunder to win this so that he would STFU.
And does someone have a pic of Matt Damon giving a standing O (by himself) to KG after he got the blow-by alley-oop layup to ice the game?
With about 15 seconds left in the 4th quarter and the Thunder down 2 Sunday against the Heat, Kevin Durant missed a 7-foot jumper that would have tied the game. This is nothing new for Durant, who has missed 26 of 33 potential game-tying or go-ahead field goal attempts in the final 24 seconds of the 4th quarter or overtime over the past 3 seasons. Not only are those 26 misses the most by any player in this situation in that span, but among the 10 NBA players who have at least 20 such FGA over the past 3 years, Durant also has the third-lowest FG pct at 21.2. Keep in mind that the league average FG pct in this situation is 30.7%.
A 6'9" player with his level of shooting touch should be much MUCH better in these situations than he is. He should certainly not be worse than average. What could possibly be the explanation for this? He seems to have a killer instinct, he has enough respect from the refs to get calls...and yet the stats say he's awful in the clutch.
7:13 Official timeout
7:13 Andrew Bynum enters the game for Lamar Odom
6:58 Kobe Bryant makes 8-foot two point shot (fouled by Pierce)
6:58 Kobe Bryant makes free throw 1 of 1
6:11 Kobe Bryant misses 26-foot three point jumper
5:50 Kobe Bryant makes 4-foot running jumper
5:20 Kobe Bryant makes layup (Steve Blake assists)
4:41 Kobe Bryant misses 19-foot jumper
4:09 Kobe Bryant misses 8-foot two point shot
3:47 Kobe Bryant makes 15-foot jumper
3:19 Kobe Bryant misses 21-foot jumper
2:55 Kobe Bryant offensive charge (Glen Davis draws the foul)
2:25 Kobe Bryant makes 12-foot jumper
1:46 Kobe Bryant misses 4-foot jumper
1:44 Pau Gasol misses tip shot
Man, if that isn't Teen Wolf mode then I don't know what is. The rest of Kobe's teammates didn't do much offensively and didn't defend at all (60% shooting for the Celtics?), but to be honest I can't blame them when Kobe is ball-hogging like that out there. I mean, they should be professionals and suck it up I guess, and if something like this had never really happened before then maybe they wouldn't have reacted the way they did, but come on, they've seen this before, a great many times. You could just see them check out of the game, like "OK, I guess Kobe's got it."
The Lakers aren't gonna beat anyone with Kobe doing it all (hopefully Kobe learned that more than anyone back in the post-Shaq, pre-Gasol years), and the Celtics have certainly shown they can beat LA when Kobe is the focus. LA's only gonna beat the other elite teams in the league if Kobe is facilitating and the Lakers are exploiting their inside advantage. If Kobe is gonna take more shots than Bynum, Gasol and Odom combined, then the Lakers ain't winning shit this year.
The Celtics simply looked hungrier out there and fought for every rebound, loose ball and put their hands in people's faces. That was something they never could do last Finals. Speaking of last year's Finals, where was Ron Artest today? He was supposed to neutralize Pierce and he looked a half step behind the whole time.
So again, Kobe going Teen Wolf didn't help but when you get outrebounded, you don't win....just like Game 7.
DNP LEFT KNEE CONFUSION.
Yes, I shit you not.
The rest of the Lakers need to be more professional and play defense and rebound in big games regardless of what is happening, same as if it seems like the refs are making a bunch of calls that don't go their way. But at the same time Kobe needs to be aware that shooting it that many times while never dishing out an assist is gonna tear apart team chemistry and is going to result in less effort from the rest of his team . And let's face it, that's what defense and rebounding are all about: effort.
Defense isn't only about effort. It's also about yelling at people, trying to roll their ankles, and groin-punches.
The Paccasso thing about Manu had me laughing for an hour.
LilB deserves to be raped by a "bitch" with a baseball bat.
The Celtics won because they were focused on hustle and the W. Gasol fighting for the ball is a paradox.
Cleveland has been erased.
Great season full of bawfulities. I can't wait for the playoffs to begin. Maybe we could eliminate the regular season and make a huge playoffs out of 32 teams (even D-Leaguers will win in Cleveland and Toronto!) and set the seeds lottery mode.