clutch
Even mascots get to the rim more than Vince Carter does.
In related news, I freakin' hate Vince Carter.

The Memphis Grizzlies: The Care Bears led 32-16 after 12 minutes and led by as many as 13 points in the fourth quarter...

...and still lost to the New Jersey Nyets anyway.

Screamed Nyets coach Avery Johnson: "RIGHT NOW THE SPIRITS OF OUR TEAM IS AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH, JUST IN TERMS OF ALL THE THINGS WE'RE TRYING TO IMPLEMENT AND TRYING TO CHANGE THIS CULTURE. WE'RE SEEING SOME OF THE PRODUCT OF OUR HARD WORK."

Reality check: New Jersey is 14-32 and trailed another sub-.500 team by double-digits for most of the night despite playing at home. I mean, it's great they won and all, but, well, yeah.

The difference of the game? Probably New Jersey's 56-12 edge in bench scoring.

From Elias Sports Bureau (via ESPN Stats and Information): "From Elias: The New Jersey Nets had three players score at least 14 points off the bench in their 93-88 win over the Memphis Grizzlies. Anthony Morrow had 19 points, and Kris Humphries and Sasha Vujacic both added 14. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, this was the first time since March 5, 1984 against the Utah Jazz, that the Nets had three non-starters score at least 14 points in a game they won a game by five points or fewer. (In that 1984 120-116 win over the Jazz, the three players who scored at least 14 off the bench for the Nets were: Otis Birdsong (18), Darwin Cook (17) and Albert King (16)."

Look, any time you can reference Otis Birdsong, Darwin Cook and Albert King in the same post, you do it. You just do it.

Said Zach Randolph: "We had the game and just didn't finish it out. We started out great but broke down defensively in the second half. I don't know if we got winded, but we didn't do anything different. We didn't make shots, not like we did in the first half. We had this game and gave it away."

Sasha Vujacic: He gave the Grizzlies a chance to force overtime by bricking a free throw with 7.3 seconds left. Damn. Why couldn't he have done that during the NBA Finals?

The Toronto Craptors: And here...we...go!


Exactly how bad is Toronto's defense? Let me put it this way: Marreese Speights scored 17 points in a single quarter against their zone.

It was easier than feeding frosting to a fatty.

Said Philly coach Doug Collins: "It's interesting how you watch tape some times. I was watching the Spurs-Toronto game and one of the sets [San Antonio] runs, we run and Toronto was struggling stopping it when they played zone. We ran that play almost the entire second quarter. Mo rolled to the basket and Jrue did a nice job finding him for those little pocket passes and scores."

Added Speights: "It was pretty easy. The zone wasn't really that hard to break."

Make it nine losses in a row for the Craptosaurs. In case you were wondering, that represents Toronto's longest fail streak since a 10-game crap-a-palooza that lasted from March 26 to April 12, 2006.

Advanced stat(s) of the game: The Toronto D "held" the Philly O to an Offensive Rating of 121.0 and an Offensive Rebounding Rate of 41.5. So not only did the Sixers hit half their shots, they rebounded nearly half of the shots they missed.

Andrea Bargnani: From the AP game notes: "Bargnani had to head to the locker room late in the first quarter after jamming his toe but soon returned after getting a protective cap put on it."
A protective toe cap. Well then.

Jay Triano, coach of the year candidate: "I thought our defense was very porous all night. They kind of got in to where they wanted to go."

The Detroit Pistons: As Dan B. pointed out in his BAD post, the Nuggets hadn't won in Detroit since March 10, 1995. They had lost 14 consecutive games in the Motor City. And as if the stat curse wasn't enough, Chauncey Billups erupted for a game-high 26-point revenge game against his old team.

Said the Artist Formerly Known as Mr. Big Shot: "I love getting the ovations and showing the people what they've missed. I never wanted to leave here. Everyone knows that. I wanted to retire here."

Thanks for that, Joe Dumars.

Speaking of which, from the AP recap:

Detroit dealt him two-plus years ago, hoping to speed the development of Rodney Stuckey while clearing salary-cap space for the future.

Stuckey hasn't turned into a dependable point guard and the millions spent in the summer of 2009 on free agents Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva haven't paid off.
And people were calling Dumars a genius not too many years ago. Well, as Forest Gump would say, stupid is as stupid does.

In related news, according to the AP game notes, the Pistons were valued at $360 million -- a 25 percent decline since last year -- in Forbes' annual evaluation of NBA teams.

I'm just sayin'.

Chauncey Billups, quote machine: Regarding the ongoing soap opera involving Detroit coach Johh Kuester and Rip Hamilton: "He's Pistons royalty. He's one of the greats, and his jersey is going up into those rafters, so he doesn't deserve to be disrespected like this."

Man, I'm telling you, if Dumars was still running this team, he'd never let Kuester...oh...wait...

The Atlanta Hawks: The Bucks are the worst offensive team in the league. Easily. By far. They rank 30th in PPG (91) and FGP (42.3). And, as if that wasn't bad enough, they were missing Milwaukee Brandon Jennings (left foot), John Salmons (right hip) and Drew Gooden (left foot).

But the Basketball Gods said, "Let there be Offense!" And there was.

During the fourth quarter, Milwaukee went 11-for-18 from the field and 5-for-7 from downtown, outscoring Atlanta 34-15 and earning a 98-90 victory.

Seriously. The Bucks scored 98 points. The end is nigh. Somebody hold me.

Earl "Motherfucking" Boykins -- who dropped 11 of his 20 points in the final 12 minutes -- said: "That's foreign territory to us. We looked like a hell of an offensive team. It's so much of a different game when you make shots and put pressure on the other team. When you miss, they don't have to score."

There's an important lesson for all you basketball scholars: Scoring is important.

Again, as Dan B. pointed out in BAD, the Hawks hadn't lost on the road since December 31. Stat curse, baby.

Atlanta coach Larry Drew referred to his team's choke job as a "total collapse" and went on to say: "We cannot allow the snowball effect in the fourth quarter -- especially when we have played so well and are right there and then to have a total collapse. We gave up 34 points in the fourth quarter. There is a high probability that we won't win many games giving up that point total in any quarter."

Coach of the year candidate, folks.

Added Josh Smith: "We couldn't buy a basket in the fourth quarter."

Smith knows what he's talking about. He couldn't buy a basket ball night, going 6-for-20 from the field and 1-for-5 on threes. But at least he committed a game-high 4 turnovers.

The Utah Jazz: The Jazz have 12 comeback victories this season. In those comebacks, they've overcome deficits of more than 15 points seven times. And last night, Deron Willaims scored 17 of his season-high 39 points as...

...Utah lost at home to the Spurs. It was the team's sixth straight loss. Their average margin of defeat during this streak is 15 points.

Said Deron Williams: "We played better. We played harder. But, still, a loss tastes sour."

Huh. I thought it tasted like chicken. Sour chicken.

Bonus stat: The Jazz shot 54.7 percent. And lost.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: Oh those poor Timberwolves. Only they could score 117 points and lose. Okay, okay, the Suns could do it, too. But still.

Kevin Love had another Animal Style double-double (31 points and 21 boards) and Michael Beasley nearly finished with a triple-double (30 points, 9 rebounds, 7 assists), but Kevin Durant put up career highs in points (47) and rebounds (18) despite missing nine of his first 14 shots.

And poor Kevin Love was shell-shocked by it.

From the AP recap: "All I can say is Durant is incredible," Love said, a glazed look in his eye. "He's incredible."

Random funny quote from the AP game notes: "In the second quarter, Love and Darko Milicic were fighting for the same rebound, and Love relented. He then looked at the bench and winked, his charity done for the day."

Oh, I wouldn't say his charity was done. I mean, his defense was pretty charitable, and he missed a hook shot that would have won the game at the end of regulation. Speaking of which...

Kevin Love, unintentionally dirty quote machine: "When it left my hand, I said, 'That thing's in.' I was about to run back to the locker room right away. That thing went in and out."

The Los Angeles Clippers: Poor Blake Griffin. With Eric Gordon out of the lineup, he's pretty much the go-to everything on his team. People are fouling him left and right any time he beats them on a move. And, as if all that's not enough, the Rockets unleashed Chuck Hayes on him last night.

And we all know what Chuck did to Amar''''''e Stoudemire last week.

Blake still had a double-double (14 points and 11 rebounds)...but he shot 5-for-16 and spent 37 minutes and seven seconds wearing a Chuck Hayes-shaped straightjacket.

Said Hayes: "I'm a fan of what he's doing. From a fan standpoint, I'm entertained, just like everybody else. As a competitor, I'm telling myself, 'He's not doing that on me.' ... It's unbelievable what he's doing. At the same time, as I'm watching it, I'm also scouting him. I know exactly what not to let him do. ... If I keep my body on him and go strength-for-strength, muscle-for-muscle," Hayes said, "I have a chance."

Dude's a freaking bulldog.

The Clips finished with only 83 points on 36 percent shooting. It was only the third times Houston has held an opponent under 100 points since December 22. The Other L.A. Team committed 15 turnovers and missed 15 of their 18 three-point attempts. They were also outrebounded (50-44) for the first time in eight games.

In other words, it was a strong performance all around.

Vinny Del Negro, coach of the year candidate: "We just couldn't put the ball in the basket."

The Golden State Warriors: The Hornets have been streakin', so the loss, in and of itself, isn't all that remarkable. But here's where I remark that the Hornets rank 22nd in Offensive Rating (105.3), 26th in PPG (94.6) and hadn't scored more than 110 points all season...and even that happened in an overtime game against a Rockets team that gives up 104.7 PPG and ranks 24th in Defensive Rating (109.5).

Well, last night the Hornets scored a season-high 112 points and finished with high marks in O-Rating (115.9) and eFG% (65.5).

Ah, that Golden State defense.

Said Warriors coach Keith Smart: "The NBA takes two things: effort and toughness. And if you've got effort and you have toughness, you're going to have a chance to play against any team in the NBA. If you don't show any of that against the good teams, they're going to force their will. And we didn't force our will early in the game."

Anyway, speaking of bad defenses...

The Phoenix Suns: The Charlotte Bobcraps rank 25th in Offensive Rating (102.6) and 28th in PPG (93.2). They had reached 100 points only once in their last nine games...but they finished with 114 points last night against the Suns. The only other time this season they had finished with more than 113 points was on November 20, when they scored a season-high 123 points...against the Suns.

Charlotte shot 50 percent from the field and 53 percent from downtown. They swept the Four Factors and finished with an insane O-Rating of 134.8. And that was despite Stephen Jackson going 7-for-20.

What a waste of another great performance by Steve Nash (27 points and 15 dimes).

Stat of the game: The Bobcraps had a 29-10 advantage in free throw attempts, including 16-0 in the second half.

Said Suns coach Alvin Gentry: "We have to do better at finishing games."

Vince Carter -- who took 17 shots but didn't have a single field goal attempt at the rim or inside 10 feet -- added : "We have to will ourselves to win."

Why don't you will yourself to the basket instead of chucking up jumpers, you lazy f**k? Sorry.

The Indiana Pacers: Going into this game, I was thinking, "If Roy Hibbert can just slow down Dwight Howard a little..."


Well...crap.

Hibbert was powerless against Pumaman (19 points and 16 boards) and the Magic went 16-for-34 from three-point range. Why is that second stat a big deal, you ask? The 16 treys are the most ever made by a Pacers opponent. They nailed seven of those threes during the second quarter, which they won 38-27. Orlando went on to build a 23-point lead and never looked back.

Said Pacers coach Jim O'Brien: "They absolutely had their way from the 3-point line. We had lapses on the perimeter that we shouldn't have. Sometimes, you have games where you are not focused on the little things, and that's what happened tonight."

Danny Granger, Indy's franchise player who went 6-for-19 from the field and (ugh!) 3-for-11 from long distance, added: "Defense really is a thing where you've got to know rotations, you've got to know assignments, you've got to know coverages. More often than not, we're missing our assignments, we're missing coverages. We're sliding right now, and if we don't stop it soon, we'll be out of the playoff mix. It's do or die right now for us."

Yeah. I'm gonna go with "die" on this one.

Amar''''''e Stoudemire, stupid quote machine: Yep. He said it: Nobody's afraid of the Miami Heat."

Really, STAT? You mean the same Heat team that castrated your squad in New York? You're not afraid of those guys? Well, you play them tonight, and as Yoda might say...


Chris's lacktion report:

Magic-Pacers: Chris Duhon stared at a tossable onion for 6 seconds for a Super Mario!

Grizzlies-Nyets: Hamed Haddadi wore a Tanooki suit for 24 seconds to earn a Mario.

Nuggets-Pistons: DaJuan Summers spent four seconds lost in the monochrome world of the Virtual Boy and garnered a Super Mario for Auburn Hills.

Clippers-Rockets: Ishmael Smith took up one board in 45 seconds, only to blast his way through a Dr. Mario diagnosis in that time.

Bobcats-Suns: Eduardo Najera baked a brick in 3:42 for a +1 suck differential.

Spurs-Jazz: Tiago Splitter divided his 6:41 between a steal and the negatory nature of a foul and brick for a Madsen-level 1:0 Voskuhl, while Utah's Gordon Hayward had a 34 second sax solo in Mario Paint.

Hornets-Warriors: DJ Mbenga scratched out a rebound in 5:13, yet fouled thricely and lost the rock twice for a 5:1 Voskuhl. Fellow insect Quincy Pondexter gathered up an exact 2.6 trillion (2:36) in celebration.

Labels: ,

59 Comments:
Anonymous The Other Chris said...
As a Raptors fan, I approve of the level of Vince Carter hatred in this post.

The Raptors general suckitude, on the other hand, is just a fact of life at this point. Like gravity, snow in the winter, or Matt Bonner eating sandwiches. Jay Triano, pack your bags, because your chances of making it through the season are roughly the same as my chances of re-enacting a certain Black Swan scene with Natalie Portman and Mila Kinus.

Anonymous Seven is not Ten said...
(sigh) Seven assists is not "nearly" a triple double. C'mon, 'Bawful!

Blogger Adam said...
Earl Boykins -- who dropped 11 of his 20 points in the final 12 minutes

I believe you mean Earl 'Motherfucking' Boykins.

Anonymous Angry Canuck said...
They should move the Craps to somewhere nice, like Albuquerque. Or to be patriotic, Winnipeg. End our pain.

Anonymous Cetti said...
not basketball related, but, what the...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8LV1S2q2GA

:D

Anonymous The Other Chris said...

Blogger Basketbawful said...
(sigh) Seven assists is not "nearly" a triple double. C'mon, 'Bawful!

This may be a semantic argument, but if it takes 30 "points" to reach a triple-double (at least 10, 10 and 10), then Beastly had 26 out of 30. That's close.

Right? Right? Anybody?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Earl Motherfucking Boykins

Thanks for the reminder. I have to call him that whenever I reference him from now on.

Sadly, I can't view the video. What is it?

Anonymous Seven is not Ten said...
Totally semantic. Just a pet peeve.I guess most peeps weigh pts, reb, ast, stl & blk all equally. I do not. Points are cheap. Haikeeba! :)

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Cetti -- Ah, yes. The immortal Surf Nazis Must Die. Great stuff.

From Wikipedia:

An earthquake leaves the California coastline in ruins and reduces the beaches to a state of chaos. A group of Neo-Nazis led by Adolf (Brenner), the self-proclaimed "Führer of the new beach," takes advantage of the resulting chaos by fighting off several rival surfer gangs to seize control of the beaches. Meanwhile, an African American oil well worker named Leroy (Harden) is killed by the Nazis while jogging on the beach. Leroy's mother "Mama" Washington (Neely), devastated by the loss of her son, vows revenge. After arming herself with a handgun and grenades, she breaks out of her retirement home and sets out to exact bloody vengeance on the Surf Nazis.

Surf Nazis Must Die was criticized by reviewers as boring and hard to follow, and its acting, dialogue, and camerawork were widely panned. The film premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in May 1987, where it generated some interest due to its title but was met with a mostly negative critical reception. Janet Maslin wrote "Not even the actors' relatives will find this interesting." Roger Ebert stated that he walked out of the film after 30 minutes.

Years later, there was a short lived hardcore punk band from Germany that had the same name as the film title and have used samples from the movie. The band and the movie have both achieved a cult following.[citation needed]

The Blu-ray will be released in 2010.


I've never been gladder that my PS3 is also a Blu-ray player.

Blogger geremy said...
went to the suns bobcats game last night, horrible game, amAzing trampoline dunks!

i know, i know, trampoline dunks, right??? one of the "dunk show" kids dunked off of the free throw length trampoline by.... jumping head first through the rim! i can find no evidence of it online, but i saw it! freakin' amazing. anyone heard of this or have vid of it???

Blogger geremy said...
found it on BSOS, second vid on bottom 1:30ish mark....

http://www.brightsideofthesun.com/2011/1/27/1959318/fun-phoenix-suns-related-videos

please check it out.

Anonymous EuroGuy said...
Amar''''es "nobody's afraid"-comment made me think of this classic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShE27Hst_NM

But maybe they want to rename MSG to "House of Bricks"?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Suns become relevant again?

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=49m8uhm

Anonymous Phil said...
I nominate Manu Ginobli and Raja Bell:

http://cdn1.sbnation.com/imported_assets/642633/doq3xx.gif

Quite the flopping duet they have going on there.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Bawful, the video is Boykins sinking a shot that rolls around the rim 3.5 times.

Also, Manu vs Raja1
Manu vs Raja2

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Also, this is the 2,100th post on Basketbawful. Yay.

Anonymous ZooTiger said...
Not trying to defend Vag Farter, but in all fairness he did score 22pts and had 6rebs bounce his way, I think Hill and Dragic own that loss, based on the box score.

Also: To contradict my comment fuck Vag Farter!!

Blogger Dan B. said...
Holy shit. How is it I have never heard of Surf Nazis Must Die? And there's a Blu-Ray??? I MUST HAVE IT.

Blogger Dan B. said...
1) It looks like the Blu-Ray version of Surf Nazis Must Die is going to be a little hard to find. Nobody has it in stock... Is it even actually out yet?

2) Sorry everyone, some things came up. No time to write a BAD post for today. I should still be able to do one for the weekend though.

Blogger Josh said...

Blogger Dan B. said...
Josh -- So where can we gamble on when Gilbert Arenas declares bankruptcy?

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Looks like Amar'e was right not to be afraid of the Heat.

Blogger chris said...
El (Oh El) Heat.

That is all. :D

CAPTCHA: "sooth," i.e. "Haters found this result could sooth their worries about the South Beach hype machine."

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Landry Fields is a MAN-type player

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
LeBron 7-24, and being openly criticized by Reggie Miller and Steve Kerr for his shot selection? Fan-tastic!!

That charge call on Galinari (sp?) on the break late in the game was absurd. Refbawful.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
You guys rail on Bosh but tonight should show his value to this team. I would prefer an injury to LeBrick or Wade before him. LeBrick wouldn't fucking pass down the stretch and Cyclops (Wade) fizzled and did the same thing. This team can be such a headache sometimes. It doesn't help that the shooters bricked open looks down the stretch and wade was 6-14 on the foul line. Are you fucking Shaq now?


"I've worked on my post up game." He was 0-5 with a turnover posting up. What a joke.

Blogger Bing said...
Wade went from super-hot (13 consecutive field goals made) to cold 0-for-6 in the fourth quarter - that is bad coaching. Why rest the one guy who is draining buckets like it's a game of NBA Jam?

Blogger Fishy said...
Please tell me someone else saw the Blazers on their comical fast break against the Celtics almost halfway through the second quarter... Mills misses a layup on a fast break attempt, Cunningham is right there for the running putback but misses, only to have Aldridge miss a third running putback dunk. Shit happens but damn! I hope someone uploads a video of it

Anonymous Aaron said...
so if the Heat is really Bosh's team, this means they can only reach the first round in playoff? i am cool with that.

Blogger Josh said...
@kazam92

Welcome to your team. That was vintage Lebron, holding onto the ball for 20 of 24 seconds and then jacking up a shot while the rest of the team stood around with their thumbs up their asses. Sure, Bosh would have made some difference at least, but this is what happens when you lose one of the only good players on what is a 3-man team. Dropping 5 of the last 6 due to missing one player doesn't bode well since we're just past the midpoint of the season. If no one else can step in and fill the gap left by Wade/James/Bosh when they're a non-factor (through injury or a bad game) then you wind up losing 5 of the last 6. It's a long season, can the only 3 players who matter stay healthy/continue to play at a high enough level?

Bosh is railed on, sure, but look at Lebron's stat line - 42 minutes, 7-24 FGM, 0-2 from 3, and 10-12 from the line. Free throws accounted for nearly half his points. Only five players on the cHeat scored. Ilgauskas, Miller, House, Arroyo, Dampier, and Howard all scored NOTHING with none of them playing less than 3:30. Of the 9 players with floor time on the Knicks, 8 of them scored whereas only 5 of the 11 Miami players scored. What's my point? When "the big 3" are healthy and have good games, the cHeat win fairly easily. Remove one from the picture and things fall apart because you're left with a team of scrubs.

It makes me sick to say this since I'm a Laker fan and loathe everything Boston, but does anyone really think the cHeat will stand a chance against Boston in the play-offs assuming Miami even gets out of the first round? People criticize Pau for being too soft (which he very often can be) but Bosh is essentially the Gasol of the east in that respect. Bosh in no way matches up well with Boston. The Celtics have already beat Miami twice this season and that was without the added bulk and defense of Perkins. I can see Miami winning a game or two but there's no way they'd make it out of a 7 game series.

Anonymous DKH said...
Just wanted to share the huge Dantley I saw at the Arizona Wildcats game against UCLA tonight. Kyle Fogg: 1 of 5 from the field for 2 points, 12 of 14 from the line. Part of that had to do with an amazing 4-shot foul. I'm not really sure how it happened, but basically a guy fouled Fogg on a drive, then followed up after the play by throwing an elbow, resulting in some sort of technical/flagrant foul combination that was worth four free throws (all of which he sank) plus the ball.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
because he wishes he had his talent thinking he wouldn't waste it if he did?? Because Vince sulked his way out of Toronto??

Like when Bawful sulked about not making Varsity (or whatever team it was) and took his ball and went home...

Pot...kettle...black...

Blogger Preveen said...
Hey Bawful. Thanks for reversing STAT's stat curse... NOT! Did someone tamper with Wade's goggles in the final quarter or what? What the heck happened to the damn freethrow shooting?!

Anonymous EuroGuy said...
Someone posted this under the comments to the Heat@Knicks Recap on Yahoo:

Lebron tweeted; 93-88 17 missed shots,how long does Karma last ?

Blogger chris said...
Oh, I just heard a reference to Andrew "Dice" Clay on Inside the NBA.

Night has been made.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
@Josh: Not only Boston, but the new look Magic are perfectly capable of beating the Heat in a series. And the Bulls can also dark horse their way to the top with Noah healthy.

Blogger Mr. Too Nice Guy said...
From the Daily Dime:

Heat's fourth quarter: Isn't it the Heat that turns up the D and suffocates teams in the fourth? Dwyane Wade picked the wrong quarter to go 0-for-7 in the loss to New York. Until the fateful fourth, LeBron's shooting was less than sharp.

Really ESPN - that's what qualifies for "less than sharp" these days?

The Talented One was by my count 5 for 7 in the 4th quarter - which means he was 2 for 17 in the first three quarters. This blog has a lot of classifications for that kind of performance and clearly "less than sharp" doesn't cut it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
How long til Lebron learns how to be an effective post player? Last night was painful

Anonymous Aaron said...
here is a question: what the hell is espn going to do after the heat loses in the playoff? are they going to have a "simulated" report card after each game estimating how well the big-3 would have done as if they had played the winner of previous night's game?

Blogger Josh said...
"How long til Lebron learns how to be an effective post player? Last night was painful"

To be fair, seven years isn't enough time to pick up even some fundamental moves in that area, right?

...Right?

*crickets*

WV: Ok seriously, I'm not making this up - "porkie"

Anonymous Stockton said...
No WoTN today? That Heat loss made mr bawfull giggle so much he couldn't hit the keyboard properly? Like Lebron can't hit a shot...

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
What the hell is espn going to do after the heat loses in the playoff?

I'm going to go with something like "sob wracking, banshee-like howls of despair like tweens who just found out Justin Beiber is really a cleverly disguised 33-year old lesbian."

Anyone who doesn't want to see Celtics/Bulls and Lakers/Spurs in the conference finals should be committed to an asylum immediately, IMO.

Blogger Dick Sullivan said...
Thought you might like this, Bawful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6YOVzsvwtE&feature=player_embedded

Blogger Wormboy said...
I'm going to guess that the valuation decline of the Pistons franchise has more to do with being located in the most economically depressed city in the U.S., Detroit, Michigan. After all, the Knicks valuation didn't plummet when they've sucked in recent years. But economic analysts know that there isn't enough disposable income in the Detroit region to support their array of pro franchises. Sad but true.

Blogger Wormboy said...
This is where LeBron switches to third person and explains the LeBron works on facets of his game that LeBron thinks he needs, not do-nothings in the press.

Yeah, no excuse for lack of post game this far into his career. Given his body, the guy should dominant there, rather than a liability.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Kobe Hate Alert!

This Henry Abbott article is making rounds, showing Kobe's clutch performance. Not much we didn't already know from the original 82games study, such as Billups sucking shit and Carmelo leading the league, but I'm also surprised LeBron dropped so far down the list since the last study.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
How's this for Bawful? Henry Abott examines Kobe's clutch reputation:

http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/24200/the-truth-about-kobe-bryant-in-crunch-time

Don't drink anything when you look at his table. You'll mess up your keyboard.

Blogger Josh said...
Here's a response to Abott's article:

http://nba-point-forward.si.com/2011/01/28/wait-you-mean-kobe-isnt-mr-clutch/?eref=sihp

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Yea, I wish he did eFG%, adding in when down by 3, and did a Houstan Rockets style filter on "chuck ups" that shouldn't count, and looked at FTs, rebs, and assists atleast. I mean he says right there Kobe has 1 assist or something, but doesn't show us the full assist story.

Oh well.

Anonymous Marc d. said...
I love how Abbot compares Kobe to SUVs. Because, as everyone here already knows, Kobe is also mostly responsible for sucking the lifeblood out of our planet at an alarming rate.

Mmmmm... delicious haterade!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...

Blogger Ash said...
Another Kobe Hate post on ESPN? Shocking!

Every time LeBron has a bad night, they post a stupid "Kobe isn't clutch!" article or something else to tear him down. ESPN has a worse agenda than Fox news.

Here's the Proof:

http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/11587/kobe-bryant-in-a-nutshell
http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/23312/subjective-kobe-is-not-clutch
http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/post/_/id/5002351/is-kobe-bryant-clutch-label-myth
http://espn.go.com/blog/TrueHoop/post/_/id/24200/the-truth-about-kobe-bryant-in-crunch-time
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/miamiheat/columns/story?columnist=haberstroh_tom&page=KobeLeBronclutch-101222

Blogger BadDave said...
Seriously - when was the last time Barkley facepalmed after a comment?

Tracy Morgan gets a gold star just for that.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
It seems like Abbott writes this same article about twice a year. Doesn't he get tired of beating that same drum? I do love his "Aha! A stat that proves the Lakers suck!" articles. I also enjoy how oblivious Abbott is to how easily one can lie with statistics, or even how one can search out specific statistics to support virtually any claim. If you already have your end conclusion decided in your mind, you'll search out only the evidence which supports that conclusion while ignoring evidence that contradicts it. Abbott hates the Lakers and is convinced they're not worthy of all their success, so he searches around for stats to prove it.

But there's a much more meaningful stat that Abbott seems to be overlooking, especially when it comes to how clutch the Lakers have been with Kobe Bryant: 5 championships in the last decade. You don't win titles without your team being clutch, because no championships are won due to a team just blowing out everyone. There's gonna be gut-check, dig down deep and come through in the clutch tight games that have to be won, and the ones who can perform in the clutch are the ones who win titles. Kobe is widely considered one of the game's top closers in no small part because of all of those rings.

Abbott has his (or rather, John Hollinger's) calculator, but the Lakers have their trophy case, and the latter seems to carry more weight in this discussion.

Blogger Paul said...
Abbott sounds like a guy that got his candy stolen from Kobe lol

BTW, Ii thought this was funny.
From the Miami-NY post game press conf.

“We all know about this league,” LeBron James said of Wade. “If a guy's got a hot streak, you got to keep giving it to him. It's not rocket science. When a guy's got it going, you just keep on feeding him. And D-Wade had it going.”

Hmmm... you might want to try and remember that Mr. King, next time when you are out there chucking contested Js and going 4 for 21.

Anonymous Shiv said...
The reactions to Abbotts article are typical.

Non-Lakers Fan: "See! The stats prove that Kobe isn't as clutch as everyone thinks! Just cos you want to take all the shots in crunch-time doesn't make you clutch, actually making them does! Kobe's ego is writing checks his jumpshot can't cash!"

Lakers Fan: "Have you SEEN Kobe play?! Have you SEEN the highlights?! Have you SEEN the 5 rings?!"

The whole point of the article is to debunk this whole gut-feeling aspect of Kobe's clutch-ness.

Blogger Wormboy said...
"In the final 24 seconds of playoff games, Bryant has racked up almost as many airballs as makes, making just below 30 percent of game-tying or go-ahead shots."

Jesus H! That's almost as good as the state of Illinois exonerating as many death row inmates as they've actually executed! (Not really. The latter stat is much, much uglier than anything Kobe has done.)

I think much of the myth of clutch-time shooter comes from guys who simply take the shots. If you do it often enough, there will be some great highlights, and that's all that people will remember. Right there you have a fair amount of the disconnect between peoples' impressions and reality: humans are actually pretty bad at seat of the pants statistical assessments.

PS I absolutely LOVE the reference to the Malcolm Gladwell article. SUVs have always driven me nuts for the exact reason. They are stupid vehicles, and few of the people who own them should actually be driving them. There's some sort of freaky mass delusion about them because of what people WANT them to be. Same with Kobe in the clutch. A triple-teamed contested outside jumper is not going to be as effective as hitting the open man for the layup or dunk.

Anonymous Tim said...
Read enough of this and you will know why I posted it. Enjoy!

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/the-most-inspiring-wishes-ever-granted-by-the-wish,18871/

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