turk d
Classic 7-11 defense. Classic Hedo.

Devin Harris: There aren't too many games you figure the New Jersey Nyets should win...but a showdown with the Clippers in L.A. is kinda-sorta one of them. So it's pretty critical that the team's best or second-best player -- depending on your outlook -- stick around for the full 48 minutes.

Harris did not.

Instead, he pulled a McHale-clotheslining-Rambis on poor Blake Griffin. Really, Devin? Really? Forget the fact that the kid missed his original rookie season with a debilitating injury. He plays for the Clippers for God's sake! Have mercy!

Harris received a flagrant 2, which comes gift-wrapped with an automatic suspension.


Yes. It's always important to see how your team responds to its floor leader nearly killing another man. The NBA: Where The Most Dangerous Game Happens.

Said Harris: "I was kind of looking up at the ball, and when I saw I couldn't get it, I tried to just make sure he didn't get his arms up. I got my arms caught up around his neck, obviously, and you saw the way he fell. I didn't think it was that bad when I did it, but once I came back here and saw it a couple of times, it looked pretty bad. So it probably was the right call. I wasn't trying to body-slam him or anything like that. It was just an awkward play at an awkward angle."

To his credit, Griffin gave Harris the easy out: "I don't think he was trying to something malicious or anything like that. I figured he was going to foul me because they didn't want to give up two easy points. But I think the momentum of the play made it look worse than it actually was. I cut my elbow up pretty good, but my head didn't hit the floor. I just kind of lay there for a second and did like a mental check to make sure I was good."

Then he realized he was still a Clipper...and that he may never be "good" again.

The Los Angeles Clippers: No Chris Kaveman. No B-Dizzle. No Randy Foye.

No hope. Unless you consider "coached by Vinny Del Negro" hope. And you don't.

Last night, the Clippers fell to 1-10 -- and 1-5 at home -- by losing 110-96 to the New Jersey Nyets. The Other L.A. Team shot 39 percent while letting the Nyets hit almost 60 percent of their shots. There were simply too many faces out there and not nearly enough hands to go around.

Okay, seriously, what's up with the defense? If seeing your second-year rookie nearly get decapitated isn't enough to get you fired up to play D against a crappy team...will anything? Would Devin Harris have to tie their wives and girlfriends to a railroad track Dick Dastardly-style?

Bonus stat: The Clips actually had a 38-19 edge in free throw attempts but partially negated that advantage by bricking 10 of 'em.

Blake Griffin, quote machine: "In this game, I thought it came down to scoring."

Memo to Blake: The Nyets shot nearly 60 percent. I don't think scoring was the problem...unless you're talking about New Jersey's scoring.

The Memphis Grizzlies: Well, you had to figure the Magic were going to take their mad out on somebody. That "somebody" was the Grizzlies. And anybody unfortunate enough to watch this 89-72 blech-fest.

The beginning of the game was the epitome of bawful. There were 20 turnovers in the first 12 minutes of the game. It was like watching a group of special education students try to play basketball for the first time, only the basketball was a live raccoon that had been living off a diet of rabies and razor wire. As the AP recap put it: "There were players bouncing balls off their legs and out of bounds. Poor passes. Missed catches. Double-dribbles and traveling calls. If there was a way to cause a turnover, chances are it happened."

Orlando gave 90s NBA fans chilling flashbacks to those old Heat-Knicks games that were like watching two junkyard dogs just gnaw on each other for a couple hours. The Magic forced 18 turnovers and held the Care Bears to 36 percent shooting (including 3-for-14 from downtown). Heck, they even intimidated Memphis into bonking on nine of their 20 foul shots (I think Dwight Howard actually blocked one.)

Anyway, the game -- and the blowout loss -- was so depressing, the Griz actually had a team meeting right after the game.

Said Mike Conley: "We needed to talk. It's never too early to have a team meeting. The issues we have as a team, being accountable individually, we've got to step it up and have all the guys in tune."

Good luck with that, Mike.

Rudy Gay: 9 points on 17 shot attempts. Yeah. That's worth $80+ million.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: How do the Timberpoops go from being up eight points with less than two minutes to go...

...to losing 113-110 to a team that had been 0-4 at home? Unbelievable.

Actually, I keed. It's totally believable.

Minny also wasted a career night for Darko Milicic (13 points, 5-for-11, 12 rebounds, 5 assists, 4 blocks, no turnovers). But hey, they couldn't keep the Bobcraps off the line. Charlotte got 40 foul shots. Heck, Gerald Wallace (17-for-19) converted more freebies than the entire Timberpoops team (15-for-23).

Said Minny coach Kurt Rambis: "When it came down to it, our defense let us down. We couldn't get the stops that we needed at critical junctures of the game."

Speaking of letting the team down at critical junctures...

Michael Beasely: He gaveth. And then he gaveth away.

Beastly led Minnesota with 28 points. He also led them in fourth quarter fail. It started when he shanked a free throw with 1:31 left that would have put the Timberpoops up by seven. With 58 seconds to go and Minnesota clinging to a three-point lead, he hacked Gerald Wallace, who knocked down both foul shots. Six seconds later -- his team up only a point -- Beasley lost the ball and the Bobcraps scored a fast break layup to take the lead.

He kinda made up for it by scoring off his own offensive rebound with 34 seconds to go, putting Minny back up a point, but he turned it over again with 19 seconds left after Charlotte had regained the lead following a couple Wallace freebies.

Said Beasley: "I feel like it was my fault today. I don't feel good at all knowing my two turnovers changed the game."

Bonus trending stats: Beasley's been on fire lately, thanks to his feasting on long two-point shots, also known as "Luol Dengs." Will he stay hot from 16-23 feet or regress to the mean. Only time will tell. But we'll be watching.

Kevin Love, quote machine: No luck with the ladies. Bed-wetting problems. These are the things that stick with Kevin Love. From Timberwolves.com, via TrueHoop and AnacondaHL.

The Utah Jazz: The Raja Bell-less Jazz blew it. Instead of falling behind by double-digits early, they built a 30-19 lead on the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Big mistake. You can come back from being ahead.

Actually, the real culprit was Utah's defense. They let the Thunder shoot nearly 51 percent from the field while giving up 34 free throw attempts and 14 offensive rebounds. The Thunder were like a finely tuned pickup artist: When they wanted to score, they scored.

Who knew Bell was so important?

Said Deron Williams: "We had opportunities to put them away. You look at the second and third quarters, where they score 31 and 35 points. That is way too many points to give up in a quarter. It all points to defense. We did a better job of executing tonight, but we didn't get enough stops."

Change "enough" to "any" and we're good, Deron.

The Denver Nuggets: Despite catching the Suns on the second night of back-to-backs -- after Phoenix had to play the Lakers in L.A. no less -- the Nuggets managed to waste Carmelo Anthony's first-ever 20-20 night (20 points, 22 rebounds) by choking away a 15-point lead and losing 100-94.

In a word: Bawful.

Denver shot 41 percent for the game. They had one -- ONE -- assist in the second half. During the fourth quarter, they shot 29 percent while allowing the Suns to go 11-for-18 (61 percent). The defining moment might have been when Hedo Turkoglu went all Clutch City on the Nuggets by drilling a three-pointer with 2:48 to go and then blocking a three-point attempt by Chauncey Billups with 1:28 left.


History lesson: The Nuggets haven't won in Phoenix since April 7, 2004. You know, the season before Steve Nash came back.

The New Orleans Hornets: Eh, tough loss. But hey, they weren't going to go 82-0.

Chris Paul: He got in foul trouble, had to sit the final 7:34 of the third quarter, and scored only 2 points in the second half.

Said Paul: "You can't do nothing on the bench. That's my fault. I felt like the fouls were here or there, that's my fault, I can't expect the refs to not call it."

Updated! The Detroit Pistons: Bad defense in the first half. Poor execution down the stretch. 12 missed free throws. 26 points given up off turnovers. Oh, and one heated verbal and near-physical confrontationn between player and coach:

Detroit Pistons forward Tayshaun Prince accepted blame for a heated exchange with head coach John Kuester during the team’s 101-97 loss to the Golden State Warriors on Monday night. Prince also didn’t guarantee it would be the last incident between player and coach.

"I hope it doesn't happen again," Prince said. "I can't say it won't because I'm the type of guy that if I don't see something right, I got to say something."

The confrontation started after Prince didn't fight through a double screen in time to stop Warriors guard Reggie Williams from hitting a 3-pointer that put the Pistons in a 25-point hole with 4:27 left in the second quarter. Kuester called a quick timeout and voiced his displeasure to Prince, who barked back at his coach on the bench. As the argument continued, Kuester motioned for a Pistons security official to remove Prince from the bench. Kuester started to walk toward Prince, but was restrained by assistant coach Darrell Walker.


While Prince isn’t expected to be reprimanded by the Pistons, he had a lengthy discussion with his agent Bill Duffy after the game and could meet with team officials in Detroit. Several sources said tension has grown between the players and Kuester during the team's struggles. Pistons guard Ben Gordon and forward Austin Daye have questioned Kuester's in-game adjustments this season, and guard Rodney Stuckey was benched for a game after ignoring Kuester during a loss in Atlanta.

Monday's incident also wasn't the first between Prince and Kuester. After the Pistons dropped to 0-4 following a 109-86 loss to the Boston Celtics, Kuester questioned his team's leadership, saying, "We have to collectively someway or somehow find another voice besides my own that is going to lead us." Prince fired back: "He says we got to be more vocal; he has to do some things better, too. Obviously, we're 0-4, so it ain't just the team."
Destination: Doom.

Bonus Bawful - Jeopardy Boner: You've gotta be kidding me. (H/T AnacondaHL)

Chris's Lacktion Report:

Wolves-Bobcats: Kosta Koufos tossed a brick from the Carillon Tower for a +1 suck differential in 1:26.

Grizzlies-Magic: Hasheem Thabeet may have had a steal and board in 11:33, but Mr. 2nd Overall also provided a rejection, brick, and five fouls for a 5:1 Voskuhl! Fellow care bear Sam Young tossed one piece of masonry in 2:24 for a +1.

Hornets-Mavs: Ian Mahinmi plugged in a Game Genie in 15 seconds for a Mario, while Brendan Haywood had a rebound in 24:29 - but also two bricks, two fouls, and two giveaways for a 4:1 Voskuhl.

Pistons-Warriors: Greg Monroe countered two steals in 17:38 with a foul, rejection, and brick for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl, while fellow Piston Jason Maxiell tossed two bricks from the charity stripe and tacked on a foul in 5:29 for a +3.

Labels: ,

Anonymous Anonymous said...
1) That girl who said "Who is 'Parker'?" needs to quit reading US magazine and try dating men (or women...) once in a while.


3) If Blake Griffin's name was "Paul Pierce" or "Dwayne Wade", he would have needed a team of six doctors to airlift him off the court- or at least a wheelchair- after that play.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
BTW, I'm pre-emptively quelching the Tim Duncan PF or C debate. Anyone wanting to talk about that may go join your low life brethren in the Youtube comments, as I will be rejecting comments concerning said discussion matter to keep this blog at least somewhat tasteful.

*posts more poo jokes*

Anonymous No Ring King said...
I think Tim Duncan's power chair goes forward a lot more than staying in the center.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
BTW, I'm pre-emptively quelching the Tim Duncan PF or C debate.

I had no idea this was still a debate.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Tracy McGrady broke out for 6pts on 8 shot attempts!!! T-Mac is BACK!! Let's see if he gets voted to be an all-star...

Blogger Cortez said...
"I had no idea this was still a debate."

What was the result?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Y'all are horrible.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Tim Duncan plays the 6:

"Power Center"

You can google that shit.

Blogger Will said...
9:56 Anonymous- so Timmy is geometry term? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_center_%28geometry%29

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Do I need to google "What is a power center?"

(See what I did there?)

How good are the Magic this season, anyway? I have some serious reservations about them, even though it seems like Howard has improved his game some. Lewis and Carter seem to have regressed.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
What was the result?

Remember in Ghostbusters when Gozer showed up as a woman wearing bubble wrap? Winston said: "I thought Gozer was a man." And Egon said: "It's whatever it wants to be."

Well...there you go. Duncan is whatever he wants to be.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
As the video ended leaving my staring in disbelief my computer scrolled down to the picture of Tayshaun right below the post. It was almost perfect for the moment, and made me feel a little better. If only there was a token Duncan post-called-for-foul-face in reaction after the video.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Do I need to google "What is a power center?"

I did that immediately. Couldn't stop myself.

How good are the Magic this season, anyway? I have some serious reservations about them, even though it seems like Howard has improved his game some. Lewis and Carter seem to have regressed.

I think you're spot on: Pumaman's a little better, VC and Lewis are a little worse, and the team's pretty much the same. Good enough to be a sub-contender but not quite good enough to win a title. Dwight can be stopped, and Carter/Lewis will disapper in big games.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Oh and just as a heads' up - if this isn't Bawful, I don't know what is:


Blogger Basketbawful said...
By the way, here's some follow up on the McNabb contract from ESPN's Adam Schefter

"One of the contract's most significant points is a payment due this offseason, when the Redskins must decide whether or not to pay McNabb a $10 million option bonus. If they do, it would trigger the rest of the contract and make Washington liable for McNabb's $2.5 million base salary in 2011. So in essence, the Redskins paid McNabb $3.75 million in 2010 for the right to pay him $12.5 million in 2011 and control his rights. If the Redskins cut him after this season or trade him, they are only on the hook for the $3.75 million."

In other words, the 'Skins will probably pay McNabb the $3.75 mil and then cut him.

Anonymous bizarro said...
yeah youre welcome bawful

Anonymous Stockton said...
All Star Ballot is a good time to see how powerfull the Brotherhood of Bawful is (Bawfulhood?)!!!

Let's make TMac* an all-star again!!! Vote for TMac. Call your friends. Use your chinese connections. Cheat! Steal! It is worthy.

*TMac or some other bawf... sky is the limit, and a starting five of TMac, Scalabrine, Eddy Curry, Stephen Jackson and Chairman Yi would be GOLD!

Anonymous Stockton said...
At least she didn't say "who is parker lewis" or "who is the french husband of that short desperate housewife"

Anonymous Ted said...
"It was like watching a group of special education students try to play basketball for the first time, only the basketball was a live raccoon that had been living off a diet of rabies and razor wire."

I howled! Priceless!

Anonymous JJ said...
Czernobog, Magic is what they've been for a while, pretenders. And I really don't see that changing any time soon until Lewis' contract gets taken off their books and they sign an actual difference maker. I guess good thing (for them) is Howard will still be young.

Anonymous Stockton said...
Lewis and Carter did not regress, they're their usual selfs: streaky scorers who, hm, score, but not in a regular way needed in a 7-game playoff series.

The Lakers also have "scorers" in Artest (well, he can also defend) and Odom, but they are suported by 2 regular-high-scoring guys in Gasol and Kobi. Magic don't have that regular guy, other than JJ Redick.

Blogger Will said...
"I think you're spot on: Pumaman's a little better, VC and Lewis are a little worse". A little worse? I have Rashat Lewis on one of my fantasy teams, and he is absolutely killing my team. Last night I seriously considered dropping him straight up for VC until I realized that would accomplish nothing.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
A little worse? I have Rashat Lewis on one of my fantasy teams, and he is absolutely killing my team. Last night I seriously considered dropping him straight up for VC until I realized that would accomplish nothing.

Okay. I just checked the numbers and you're right. Lewis didn't just jump the shark...he jumped head-first into the shark's chomping teeth after taking a chum-and-baby-seal-guts bath.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The Pistons were all sorts of terrible. Ben Wallace missing a layup he would've made if he had simply let go of the ball, Tayshaun Prince having to be held back by security from killing John Kuester in the second quarter apparently, and STILL the warriors almost blew the game through, pretty much entirely their own fault. I know young teams are terrible at finishing games, but that was a little ridiculous.

Blogger Solieyu said...
Suns defeat the Lakers and Nuggets, then go on the Florida panhandle tour of questionable difficulty. Suns have no inside presence with Lopez injured and Frye being Frye, but they have long distance bombers for days and the best (yeah, I said it) PG in the league. It will be interesting to see how they handle the Heat. Who, for some inexplicable reason, are second to last in the league in Pace (which is freaking stupid when you have James and Wade). Honestly, the Heat should be melting faces in transition offense, but they can't secure the rebounds needed to initiate the break.

Phoenix will either run them into the ground or teach them how to play at speed.

I think the Suns may be screwed against the Magic though. Pumaman will romp unless he picks up another tech or two between now and that game. Will we see a Turkododo revenge game? Which Magic team will show up? NBA, where who knows what the hell happens?

Blogger Barry said...
My fantasy team ain't doing so swell either. Yesterday I was *this* close to adding Ben Wallace and Baron Davis to my team.


Anonymous Original said...
Rashard Lewis, currently shooting a macabre 36% from the field. No worries though, it's a good thing he has a broad skill set and is a dynamic scorer who, at 6'10", can most assuredly attack the post with a fervor.


Blogger Brigadier Ketchup said...
Why wasn't David Stern featured on the "WOTN" for his appearance on The Colbert Report? He was horrible, and acted very robotic (as usual) and his voice is incredibly boring.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Honestly, the Heat should be melting faces in transition offense, but they can't secure the rebounds needed to initiate the break.

That was the theory going in. Except...are LeBron and Wade really as good in transition as people think? After watching these guys for years and years, they seem more like selective transition players. If there's an obvious opportunity, they jump on it. But unlike, say, Steve Nash, who will push the ball even when his team doesn't have numbers, LeBron and Wade have always seemed more comfortable walking the ball upcourt and going directly into an iso set.

I mean, last season the Cavs and Heat were 25th and 28th in Pace, respectively. The year before that, they were 25th (Cavs) and 23rd (Heat). The year before that, 24th (Cavs) and 22nd (Heat).

Conventional wisdom was that these two athletic supermen would finally get to unleash their inner Showtime once they were teamed up...and yet as the primary scorers/playmakers (and, many times, ball handlers) for their respective teams, they seemed to thrive at a slower pace where they could walk the ball to their sweet spots and do whatever they wanted.

Why would that change?

Anonymous Cristi said...
Say what you will about Minnesota, but that handshake video was seven different kinds of awesome.

Anonymous Czernobog said...

You forgot the most obvious question: Will Pumaman drop an atomic elbow that will completely disintegrate Turkoglue's fragile face?

Not that I would want anything like that to happen, not at all.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Stern was on the Colbert report. I thought it'd be crazy awkward because Stern is the opposite of what you want for a Colbert guest. Sadly, it was only violently mediocre.

Anonymous JJ said...
I agree with Mr. Bawful. I think Wade and LeBron are above average passers, but their passes are more of a reaction to the openings in defense, rather than true playmaking, unless you count their penetration and passing (is that unintentionally dirty?). True playmakers like Nash and Kidd can create offense where there isn't any to the common eye. So, Wade/Bron's skill set will probably work best in a slower pace where they can take their time to analyze and pick apart the defense. I'm sure they know this and are comfortable with it.

Obviously, the whole they-need-a-big-man-who-isn't-a-marshmallow-and-can-get-rebounds issue isn't exacty helping with the trasition offense either.

But, as strange as it sounds, even if Heat had a good big man, I really can't envision them just blowing people out with their offense like Phoenix. Not unless they get a premier point guard. I just don't think you'll see games where LeBron/Wade/Bosh all get 25~30 although it seems like that's what some people thought. Maybe that will happen once in a blue moon.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Oh, hey, the not-answer just had his season opener with Besiktas. Scored 15 points on 4/10 from the field, and missed a game-tying buzzer beater. The official stats aren't up yet but you'll be able to find them here:


Anonymous Anonymous said...
Why is Stephon Marbury still being interviewed? Retired NBA players should be packed up and sent to an island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean where there are no reporters stupid enough to ask the opinion of washed-up, driven-out-of-the-league locker room cancers.
Maybe a few years from now we'll hear about how much he respects D'Antoni and how much he would've liked to play with this bag of bums called the Knicks and how desperately he wants D'Antoni to "drill" him. While we're forced to stare at bits of vaseline sticking out of his mouth and..other orifices.

Blogger Will said...
Bawful, Deadspin is listing the 100 worst NFL players. Would you consider some version of this for the NBA? Not necessarily 100, and it's the kind of thing you can put in the hopper until next summer.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Bawful, Deadspin is listing the 100 worst NFL players. Would you consider some version of this for the NBA? Not necessarily 100, and it's the kind of thing you can put in the hopper until next summer.

Like, of all time?

Now THAT could be fun.

Blogger David Robinson said...
I actually watched the Jeopardy thing when it was on TV, and was shocked how I would have swept the entire category (you'll notice that they picked that one last)

Upon doing the math, if I answered every question right on the basketball category, and didn't ring in the rest of the show...I nearly would have won.

The lesson is...I should have been on that show.

Also, I love the suns, I hope that Nash pulls out one of his 25 points 17 assist games against the Heat. It would be magical.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
CNN: Rondo, please demonstrate on this doll where Kevin Garnett touched you.

Rondo: Here...

Blogger Solieyu said...
Those are good points about Wade and James, but those were teams where all of the defensive attention was on the one guy all the time. They were the be all and end all of the offensive schemes. That shouldn't be the case in Miami. I suppose its just wishful thinking to assume that they would try to adapt to the new team make-up rather than trying to play the way they have been for years, but as fast, powerful, and intelligent as LeBron is (and yes, he may be a schmuck, but he doesn't strike me as an idiot) there's no reason he couldn't turn this into showtime 2.0 if he pushed the hell out of the ball. Nash is an expert at keeping defenses off balance and finding the open bombers on the wings/down low/ on the pick and roll. Rondo is rapidly approaching that ability to discombobulate defenses (it helps to have Ray Allen swooping down the side of the court), and there's absolutely no reason the Heat can't duplicate this feat with a slasher like Wade, and distance dialers like Miller, Jones, and House.

Run their shooters through a series of picks like Detroit used to do with the Phantom of the Palace, and the Celts do with Allen and there should always be scoring options on offense for the Heat. It boggles the mind watching them run iso sets when they have an athletic advantage on pretty much every team in the league outside of the interior.

Its early days yet, but their offense is way, way too simplistic right now. I'm not saying they need to try running the Triangle (though why not? Bulls ran it with two wings and a Longley), or 7second or less, but they probably don't want to be running the Hawks style of offense.

Steve Nash is probably my favorite player in the league. I love watching the man play. People keep expecting him to slow down every year but he keeps finding ways to make his teams overachieve. Steve Nash for COTY, imo.

Anonymous JJ said...
I love watching Nash play too. I seriously think his wrong-foot, off-timed lay up is one of the best moves in basketball. It's so funny to see him just scooping a lay up while a defending big man always figures out a second too late what's going on and tries to block.

Anonymous Torgo said...
I know no one but me and maybe one other guy cares about the Timberwolves (or the Bobcats), but just to get an idea at how ridiculous the officiating was in that game: http://yfrog.com/ju6cxzp

I am not advocating some sort of conspiracy or some shit, but it was still stupid as poop.

also, I guess Hollinger posted some article on ESPN claiming Killer Beas and the Love Shack could be the best forward tandem in the NBA. that's a bit much right now, I think.


Marbury is being interviewed because he's an interesting character, good or bad.

Anonymous Aaron said...
This is why the girl only knows about Parker:


Anonymous Aaron said...

People *want* LeBron to be either Jordan (be clutch, scoring machine) or Magic (greatest point guard with size).
But he just keeps asking "what should I do?"