I expect many today will waste words crying about the Suns. I'm not a man of many words, but we all knew this was coming. Maybe this isn't a traditional elegy, but it's definitely not a eulogy.

Rest in peace.
July 2010 can't arrive any faster.

What's a-matter boy? C'mon, it's time to eat...

>Mom, where'd you get that shotgun?
I know Mama. He was my team. I'll do it.

I couldn't think of anything to adjust visually in this picture.
I see dead playoff teams.

They only see what they want to see. But they don't know they're dead.

We made it! We made it! ... Suns?
Faster! Faster Nashi! Don't look back! Keep
runnin' and gunnin'! Keep runnin' and gunnin'!

You can breathe, you can breathe c'mon...

This picture was determined by the outcome of Wednesday's games. It could have been the Hornets logo.
If he dies, he dies.

Kobe Bryant: MamBison shot Old Yeller after revealing Bruce Willis was dead all along, even though it was supposed to be an exhibition. And then he ate Bambi's mother.

About the author: AnacondaHL is the Chief Internet Media Relations and Security Officer for Basketbawful and a grizzled Internet veteran who watches in despair as his favorite team, the Phoenix Suns, prepare for the 2009 draft. When not wasting time at his Clark Kent job to read BasketBawful, he can be found playing the Internet computer game du jour, watching animes about robots playing basketball (serious. ly.), wondering why the Diamondbacks have seven team colors, and browsing other obscure things on the Internet. He hopes someday to learn four languages, discover a completely un-theorized particle of quantum physics (and I would obviously name it after myself, not something stupid like Y(4140)), name the largest number in the world after himself, and to eat a crab grown in Akron.

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Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Sorry for the late publish, inexcusable lazy html by me.

Special edited bonus: Extra hidden commentary with each picture!

And finally, I am taking suggestions on what I should do with my Suns 31 Marion jersey. Clever and unique ideas are key, but smug and ironic are also acceptable.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Of course, the first thing that springs to mind is trying to sell it on eBay or Craigslist for roughly 10 to 20 times more than it's worth before giving up, taking it to goodwill and trying to barter it off for anything Shaq-related.

Put it in a special "Fail Frame" along with other merchandise -- tickets, programs, pictures, etc. -- of the Run-n-Gun Suns, God rest their merry souls.

Try to get an interview at someplace like McDonald's and then go to it in the Marion jersey and demand 10 to 20 times the minimum wage they're most likely offering, oh, and demand to be made the manager immediately. Have someone surreptitiously film the episode.

Contact all the NBA teams that will have enough cap room to sign Marion to his desired max contract this summer and offer to sell them the jersey for, like, $4K.

More ideas when I'm more awake.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
In the vein of what I was saying yesterday about how the Spurs could rebuild with some of the good FAs who might be available on the cheap this summer, I might say the same about Phoenix. Specifically this crazy idea: what about Marion returning to Phoenix for the MLE? Put that in your pipe and smoke it :)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
nobodys gonna cry about the suns

Anonymous shiv said...
SSoL needs a last hurrah. Go for broke. Andrei Kirilenko. Al Harrington. Lamar Odom is going to be a FA isn't he? Get him too!

Blogger chris said...
Soon I think we'll need an elegy for Not-Answer's legacy...that'll be entertaining.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Mega-props for the Rocky IV reference with Dirk playing the role of Ivan Drago.

If he dies, he dies.


Blogger AnacondaHL said...
DVD Bonus: Honestly, that Drago picture killed me because of how awesome Drago is. Anyone that knows me know that I think Dirk is Queenbee of the BFV's (Big Floppy Vaginas) (with princess viceroys Manu Ginobili and Boris Diaw). The original plan was to put AK47's face there, (since a Jazz loss would also eliminate the Suns), but the differences were too subtle, photoshop was almost too good.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dude, those pics were extremely lame.

Anonymous Baguete said...
Bring Byron Scott. Retire this awful orange jersey. Hello 2010 NBA Championship!

Anonymous ROFLcopters said...
Totally lame photoshops dude. Bring back the real bawful