Red wins

This is Part 4 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. Which, much like Iron Eagle IV, will redefine what is rad...and what is not.

1966 NBA Finals

The Auerbach Challenge, Part I: Before the 1965-66 season even began, Auerbach had decided it would be his last campaign as Celtics coach. But instead of keeping the news under his yarmulke, Red told the press his plans in typical Auerbachian fashion: "I'm announcing it now so no one can ever say I quit while I was ahead. I'm telling everyone right now -- Los Angeles, Philadelphia, everyone -- that this will be my last season. You've got one more shot at Auerbach!"

Red did this, of course, to motivate his troops. After all, seven straight championships could make any team a little complacent (although probably not this particular team, actually). However, Auerbach's challenge also succeeded in lighting a fire under Boston's opponents (read that: everbody outside of New England). As noted in The Saturday Evening Post: "They want [the Celtics] to lose because they detest Auerbach. Auerbach has predicted he would depart a champion and they want him to go out a loser." Truer words were never spoken.

Everywhere the Celtics went, fans took advantage of their "last shot" at Red. During a convincing loss to the Royals in Cincinnati, hundreds of fans lit up victory cigars in order to mock the rascally coach. Then, in the closing seconds of the game, a woman in "maroon stretch pants and a white angora sweater" ran down from the crowd, took a long drag off of her cigar, and blew the smoke in Red's face. Naturally, Auerbach yanked the cigar out of her mouth and flicked ashes all over her. She's probably lucky he didn't stick it in her eye, too.

Things got even worse when Boston played in Philadelphia. Near the end of one blowout loss to the Sixers, fans not only lit up their victory cigars, they also peppered Red with a barrage of peanut bags and beer cans. Then, as the final buzzer sounded, a lone fan approached the Celtics bench and threw a lit cigar in Auerbach's splotchy face. Red responded by calling Philly a "bush town." Not long after, the fan wrote into the Philadelphia Bulletin to admit his guilt, but he couldn't resist taking another potshot at Auerbach. "It did not hit him. That so-called smudge he showed on his fat head was probably from his dirty hands." Oooooooh...what a zinger!

Anyway, the challenge brought the heat down on Red's team all season. And although it wasn't enough to derail Boston's championship choo-choo, it was the kind of declaration that -- had it backfired -- might had tarnished Auerbach's spotless record as a crafty winner.

The aftermath of an injury: As noted, Elgin Baylor obliterated his knee in Game 1 of the 1965 Western Division Finals. And I'm not being melodramatic; the main ligament in the knee had suffered catastrophic damage and the kneecap had split almost in half. Initially, there were serious questions about whether he would even be able to walk again, let alone play basketball. But Baylor worked like a demon to make it back to the NBA, and he did...although he could never make it all the way back. Said Elgin: "I wasn't the same player. I was about 75 percent of the player I had been."

And he wasn't. Baylor played 65 games that season, averaging 16.6 PPG (on 40 percent shooting) and 9.6 rebounds. His presence made the Lakers a better team, to be sure, but not quite the powerhouse they might have been had he been the Elgin of old.

Fun fact: Baylor's middle name is "Gay." Seriously.

The Celtics in Game 1: The Celtics raced out to a 38-20 lead, which should have been a big enough cushion anywhere -- even Pluto! -- but especially Boston Garden. It wasn't. By the final minute, the Lakers had tied the score. They even took a brief lead when Bill Russell goaltended a shot by Elgin Baylor. But Sam Jones hit a shot to force overtime. But Boston couldn't stay in front of Baylor (36 points) or Jerry West (41 points), and L.A. pulled out a 133-129 victory.

The Auerbach Challenge, Part II: Red wasn't going to just sit back and let the Lakers have a psychological edge over his team going into Game 2. So Auerbach made the grandest possible announcement: Bill Russell was going to be the next coach of the Boston Celtics. The news not only turned the basketball world upside down -- after all, Russ was going to be the first black head coach in a major American sport -- it also stole the headlines from the Lakers. And L.A. coach Fred Shaus was pissed. But what could he do? Nothing, except pray that his team would respond with fire.

They didn't.

Boston won game two in a 129-109 blowout, then crushed the Lakers in L.A. by a score of 120-106. They also edged the Lakers in Game 4, 122-117, and it looked like the series was all but over. All the Celtics had to do was win Game 5 at home.

They didn't.

The Celtics in Games 5 and 6: Boston choked at home (121-117) and then again in Los Angeles (123-115) to set up yet another Game 7 showdown with the Lakers. This happened primarily because Fred Shaus switched to a three guard lineup, exiling starting forward Rudy LaRusso to the bench, playing Jerry West in the three spot, and putting Gail Goodrich on John Havlicek. Normally, the Celtics were the ones who used small adjustments to stymie their opponents. This time they were the victims of a minor tweak, and they couldn't respond.

Elgin Baylor and Jerry West: The Lakers' dynamic duo didn't respond well to the pressure of Game 7: They combined to shoot 3-for-18 in the first half -- 2-for-9 for West, 1-for-9 for Baylor -- as the Celtics built a huge lead. And Boston should have cruised from there.

But they didn't.

Red Auerbach (via John Volpe): The Celtics led by as many as 19 points in the third quarter, and they maintained a double-digit bulge throughout the fourth quarter. They were still up by 10 points with a minute left when Volpe, who was at that time the governor of Massachusetts, lit Red's victory cigar. And if you're wondering, the answer is: Yes, the stat curse dates all the way back to the 1960s. The Boston fans went berserk and flooded the court before the game could officially end. It was crazy. Bill Russell -- who was actually playing on a broken foot -- got knocked on his ass. Satch Sanders had his jersey torn off his body. Orange juice containers were spilled all over the floor. In short: Bedlam.

The referees managed to get the fans off the court, for the most part, and restored a semblance of order. But the Celtics were in trouble. One Boston defender slipped on some orange juice and fell over, which allowed Jerry West to score a quick bucket. Mr. Clutch then stole the ball from Russell and scored again. Boston lost the ball on an offensive foul and L.A. scored again. The lead was down to four. Sam Jones, who was pretty clutch himself, got a case of the yips and bobbled a pass out of bounds. The Lakers had the ball back yet again, and their center, Leroy Ellis, hit a jumper to cut the Celtic lead to only two with four seconds left.

Auerbach must have been ready to strange Volpe, governor or no.

But Russell inbounded the ball to K.C. Jones, who quickly dribbled around a cluster of L.A. defenders and flung the ball toward John Havlicek as time ran out. Boston 95, L.A. 93. Make it eight straight titles for the Celtics, and one final championship celebration for Red Auerbach.


The Boston police: When he finally left the Garden after his team's Game 7 victory, Red found a parking ticket under his car's windshield wiper. Auerbach shrugged it off, though, figuring that after all the good luck he'd had over the years, he could deal with a little bad luck. (And I'm guessing he never had to pay that ticket...)

The Auerbach Challenge, Epilogue: After the game, back in the comfort of his hotel room, Red had this to say to journalist Milton Gross: "If they were going to beat me, this was their shot. And they couldn't."

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, and The Rivalry by John Taylor.

Further reading: Go read my Lakers Versus Celtics: A Not-So-Brief History post at Deadspin.

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Bless Red Auerbach and his curmudgeonly soul. He was an early advocate of the fast break. He invented the concept of the sixth man. He fined his players for eating pancakes after midnight -- five bucks, payable directly to him -- and he wouldn't let them drink water during practice (he thought it weighed them down). And, for the record, that mixture of innovation and folk wisdom led to eight straight championships, and nine in 10 years. Not too shabby.

Even more awesome than all of that, though, was the fact that he hated floppers before it was fashionable to hate them. I take this to mean that he and Manu Ginobili would not have been the best of friends. (Okay, Red would have eaten his spleen for breakfast.)


[Hat tip to Deadspin and TrueHoop, via Bullets Forever.]

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Red
Thanks, Red.

I know this sounds strange, but Greg Oden's season-ending injury isn't just a heaping helping of poop gumbo for the Portland Trailblazers. It's a clear sign from God that the Boston Celtics' Curse has been lifted.

Think about it. Had the Celtics won the draft lottery and gotten the number one pick -- as they'd hoped, wanted, and tanked for -- Danny Ainge would have selected Oden and kept everything else pretty much the same. Which would have meant that, once Oden's knee spontaneously disintegrated, the Celtics would have fielded the same craptastic team that won only 24 games and had an 18-game losing streak last season. That would have been as catastrophic to the Celtics and their fans as Oden's health has been to Oden's career.

Speaking of which, isn't it ironic that the Trailblazers won the draft lottery and selected the one player that, while it's probably still too early to tell for sure, is starting to look like the new century's Bill Walton, the team's last number one overall pick? Seriously. Like Oden, Walton had unlimited potential and could have become one of the greatest centers ever, but injury after strange injury limited him to five and a half season's worth of games over a 10-year career. In Walton's first two seasons alone, he broke his nose, foot, wrist, and leg. He once broke his foot (for the umpteenth time) while riding an exercise bike -- which is better than breaking your knee sitting on a couch, but still. Even in his great MVP season of 1977-78, he played only 58 games due to injury (imagine how the blogosphere would erupt if something like that happened today).

Although, truth be told, Oden's case is even worse than Walton's. At least Big Bill had four reasonably healthy seasons at UCLA, during which he was one of the best college players of all time. Oden didn't have a single healthy season at Ohio State; he had wrist surgery before his freshman year even started. He still played very well for the Buckeyes (15.7 PPG and 9.6 RPG), but certainly not great (which everyone blamed on the fact that he wasn't fully recovered from his wrist injury). Then he missed most of the summer league because he had his tonsils out, and now he's not even going to play his rookie season because of microfracture surgery on his knee. And that kind of surgery means that he might not ever be as good as he possibly could have been. The final book on Oden is far from written, but...wow.

The poor Trailblazers sure have had some rotten luck over the years. You can put this tragedy right up there with their failure to defend the title in '78 (thanks, of course, to a Walton injury), drafting Sam Bowie instead of Michael Jordan in the '84 draft, Clyde Drexler's evisceration (by Jordan) in the '92 Finals, and of course the infamous 2000 Western Conference Finals meltdown.

Everybody's talking about how fortunate the Supersonics are for getting Durant instead of Oden. And they are. But the Celtics are the real winners here. Instead of a relatively unproven, seemingly injury-prone center with a huge question mark hanging ominously over his career, they dealt for Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. Which, as I pointed out, means the curse is officially over. If it wasn't, the Celtics would have won the lottery, selected Oden, and everybody would be comparing this to Boston's many doomed draft picks (Len Bias, Michael Smith, Acie Earl, etc.). I'm telling you, Red Auerbach's ghost is behind this. He sacrificed himself to break the jinx. I will always believe that.

As a final note, Evil Ted just came by my cube and said: "I hope you're writing about Greg Oden." After I told him I was, he said, "Good. Tell everybody we were right. That dude's 40 years old if he's a day. Microfracture surgery at 19? Yeah, right. The man is middle-aged, and this is what happens to middle-aged men who play professional basketball."

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Dig this crazy 1974 commerical for Bradlees, a now-defunct department store chain that was popular in New England during the 1970's. It features John Havlicek, Dave Cowens, and Don Nelson (not Don Nelson the pasty, bloated coach; this was Don Nelson the pasty, bloated player). The commercial was narrated by the late Celtics broadcaster Johnny Most, before his voice had been reduced to a hoarse, croaking whisper by years of drinking coffee drinking, smoking cigarettes, and gargling with broken glass.

For some reason this commercial is broken into two parts. In part one we learn that Don Nelson cannot handle his balls.


In part two, an angry Nelson returns a defective basketball. Strangely, he doesn't notice that the customer service representative is none other than his teammate, Dave Cowens, who was probably working at Bradlees part-time because Red Auerbach was cheap*. At the end of the commercial, the three Celtics commit a blatant act of petty larceny by walking through the checkout lanes without paying for their merchandise. They follow this up by committing an even more blatant act of cheese by shooting a ball into a shopping cart.


*Actually, Cowens' salary in 1974 was around $161,000 (which, believe it or not, was a lot of money back then). And while I'm pretty sure he never worked at Bradlees, he did spend a day working as a cab driver and once took two months off from playing basketball during the 1976-77 season to sell Christmas trees on the family farm. Interestingly enough, Cowens' behavior isn't too different from Ron Artest, who once applied to work at Best Buy and later asked the Pacers for a couple months off to promote his rap album. But if Artest took December off to sell Christmas trees, journalists and bloggers all over the country would go absolutely apeshit.

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