Yes, we know that Metta World Peace was the first one to be voted off DWTS (why couldn't the 2010 Lakers be beaten so handily?), and that Glen Rice apparently had a "respectful" evening in 1987 with that "sweetheart" Sarah Palin (respectful? sweetheart? gag me with a bore spoon), and that D Wade got fiesty in the lockout negotiations (apparently he takes control in business meetings as well), but sometimes an NBA player ripe for satire gets a job moving furniture, and sometimes you have a comic book text creator, and it all comes together.

Labels: comics, Delonte West, Lebron James

It's official. D-West isn't good enough for Home Depot, but apparently he managed to find employment at a furniture store, despite having a job application that appears only slightly less absurd than the one I made up for him a month ago.



Misunderstanding, huh? You silver-tongued devil. No wonder you got the job. Congratulations. Hey, Tweet a picture of yourself on your first day.



Uhm, actually, tell you what...keep the pics and Tweets to yourself, mkay?

This brings us to our first post-lockout audience participation exercise.

Assignment #1: Give me your best caption for D-West's first-day-at-Regency-Furniture picture.

I'll get us started: "Tonight on COPS..."

Assignment #2: Help me find out what Regency Furniture store D-West works at, and if I'm ever in that area, I'll be sure to put together a kick-ass video of an Evil Ted D-West meet-and-greet.

Labels: Delonte West, job application, regency furniture

As many of you are aware, while the lockout continues, many of our favorite NBA players have headed to foreign lands to play hoops. Not a shock. More curious, however, has been the occasional NBA player choosing to apply for jobs normally reserved for college graduates and middle-Americans kicked in the jimmies by the burst of the housing bubble. First, there was rumor of Brandon Jennings going to work at Foot Locker, but near as I can tell he was just passing though to promote himself. More recently came the news of Delonte West applying for a job at Home Depot.

Well, we at Basketbawful sent out some investigative reporters (along with a few small-time criminals) and managed to get our hands on Delonte's actual job application. This is some amazing stuff, folks. Pulitzer-worthy. Or least worthy of a backstage pass to the ESPYs. Or maybe a just fruit roll-up with a Celtics logo on it.

Labels: Delonte West, home depot

Happy Halloween!

Shaq with a nice pre-game snack
(via Andy Gray's SI Vault)
Well, some breaking news to start your Halloween weekend: Delonte West has gotten into an "altercation" with one of his teammates. Anyone who didn't see that one coming a mile away, say "aye."


Thought so. So what happened? Only a fight. At least Delonte didn't go all Mad Max this time on his motorcycle packed with loaded weapons.

Less than one week after tempers flared during a two-on-two game in practice, Delonte West and Von Wafer had another altercation earlier this afternoon.

During a three-on-three game with Avery Bradley, Luke Harangody, Semih Erden and assistant coach Tyronn Lue, West began fouling Wafer each time the reserve guard touched the ball. West was increasingly physical to the point that Wafer exited to the locker room midway through the game. As he walked away, West barked obscenities and taunted Wafer.

After Wafer had showered and sat down at his locker, West approached from behind and threw a punch. Wafer didn't see the punch coming but quickly got off of the ground and connected on two punches of his own. He then wrestled West to the ground before being separated by the team's veterans.

The Celtics say this appears to be a issue dealing only with West and Wafer, and nobody else on the team. Sadly, that means they're less likely to cut him, and even less likely to resign Mario West to fill their quota of players-named-West on their team. I, naturally, only have one response:

:(

Well, it's hard to top that action, but here's something that isn't basketball-related, but I know this will definitely be worth watching for quite a few of us: Crispin Glover's Back to the Future screen tests. (h/t Jonah Keri)






Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Hey, didn't we just see that same exact pose yesterday from Drew Gooden? Man, that must suck to be Q-Rich right now, getting compared to Drew Gooden...

Nice Halloween costume there! It really scared me! wait, you mean that's not a costume, that's just AK47's new hairdo? Oh...

Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Magic at Heat, ESPN, 8pm: These two teams hate each other's guts right now. Even Marcin Gortat(!) is running smack. And yet tickets are still available! Per ESPN's Rachel Nichols, "Perhaps city of Miami already nonchalant about LeBron, Wade and Bosh being here together - tickets still available for 2night's home opener."

Lakers at Suns, ESPN, 10:30pm: AccuScore has this game dead even -- each team has a 50% chance of victory. Okay, yes, Phoenix has home court advantage, but serious question here: how are they going to do anything to control the paint? This could be a game worth watching to see a true evaluation of where the Suns are with their new "all small ball, all the time" format.

All The Other Friday Games:
Kings at Nets, 7pm: The Nets are in a tie for first place right now! The Prokhorov smiles.

Hawks at 76ers, 7pm: Huzzah! Another chance to see Doug Collins not play his best players as much as possible!

Cavaliers at Craptors, 7pm: Per ESPN's Chris Sheridan, the 2010-2011 Craptors media guide has a section (under Miscellaneous on page 3, for those five folks who have a copy of the media guide) that states: "Any media member wishing to "take my talents to South Beach" will have their credentials confiscated and be escorted from the building." All right, Toronto, I'll give you that one. But it's right back to making fun of your team next week!

Pacers at Bobcats, 7pm: I'm sure it's possible to care even less about a game than I do about this one, but I'd have to try really hard to do that. And trying hard to not care about something is such an oxymoron that I just broke my brain.

Knicks at Celtics, 7:30pm: The Celtics have won 20 of their last 25 games against the Bricks. I doubt that you need to know much more than that about this game.

Nuggets at Hornets, 8pm: No joke here -- I just wanted to say it's fantastic to see George Karl back on the sidelines coaching the Nuggets after all his health troubles last year.

Thunder at Pistons, 8pm: The Pistons are going to lose this game. How do I know? Because of this.

Bucks at Timberwolves, 8pm: There have been rumors of the NBA discussing contracting a team or two. Even though I don't foresee that happening any time soon (we all know how David Stern would consider that a last-gasp kind of move), it's still a possibility. However! "I can say that Minnesota is not one of the teams that would be contracted, nor do we expect that in the future," said owner Glen Taylor, the chairman of the NBA's board of governors. So Minnesota fans have that going for them, which is nice.

Grizzlies at Mavericks, 8:30pm: Let's break this down: the Mavs have two 7-footers, and the Grizzlies are missing Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph due to injuries. This could get uglier than even the Grizzlies' last 9 games against the Mavericks, which they have also lost.

clippers at Warriors, 10:30pm: The Warriors had a decidedly run-and-gun style under the leadership of Don Nelson, but new head coach Keith Smart said we could expect that to change as the team planned on focusing more on defense and rebounding. Nice to see that the players apparently didn't get that memo and are still running and gunning anyway.

* * *

Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Nuggets at Rockets, NBA TV, 8:30pm: Ah, another chance to be entertained by Yao Ming. He's already delivered so much material for this blog in just a couple games!

All The Other Saturday Games:
Wizards Generals at Hawks, 7pm: Well, the glass half full outlook for this game, Washington fans? Things can only improve after that game against the Magic!

Kings at Cavaliers, 7:30pm: Just a gut feeling, but for some odd reason, this game might actually be interesting. (Of course, now that I've said that, watch it be a 128-87 blowout...)

Trail Blazers at Knicks, 7:30pm: Well, the Knicks are on a one-game winning streak! That's... something.

Pistons at Bulls, 8pm: You know, I doubt it will really matter if Rose continues his shot-jackery or not in this game... (Did the Pistons seriously win a title only a few years ago?? Hard to believe.)

76ers at Pacers, 8pm: I have absolutely nothing of interest to say about this game. So instead, I'm just going to link you to this video of a gigantic fight in a McDonald's after Game 1 of the World Series. You're welcome.

Timberwolves at Grizzlies, 8pm: According to the ESPN.com schedule, this game is not being televised at all. And the world breathes a sigh of relief...

Bobcats at Bucks, 8:30pm: Both teams on the second night of back-to-backs? No thank you.

Hornets at Spurs, 8:30pm: The Hornets are on a back-to-back here, but the Spurs should have fresh legs. Unfortunately for the Spurs, "fresh legs" for them is a relative term since the average age on that team feels like it's close to 47.


* * *

Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Jazz at Thunder, NBA TV, 7pm: Dejected Deron Williams is dejected: "If we play like this against Oklahoma City we’ll lose by 50." SAD FACE.

All The Other Sunday Games:
Heat at Nets, 1pm: I have a feeling we can safely refer to them as the Nyets again after this game...

Mavericks at Clippers, 3:30pm: Well, for something more exciting in Dallas sports, go watch this video of Brad Richards hitting a hockey puck through the glass.

Warriors at Lakers, 9:30pm: And yet another one-sided battle of California teams.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Delonte West, fights

Maybe Delonte can be in the sequel: "Zombieland 2: Looking Behind Our Back"
Breaking news: Delonte West has been indicted on six weapons offenses stemming from a September incident in which he was arrested on the Capital Beltway in Washington D.C. with three loaded guns and an 8 1/2-inch bowie knife. (That's not a knife. This is a knife...) Here are the details:

West was traveling north on the Beltway about 10 p.m. in a three-wheeled motorcycle called a Can-Am Spyder when he allegedly cut off a county police officer near Route 214.

The officer pulled West over for making an unsafe lane change, and as the officer approached the motorcycle, West told him he had a handgun in his waistband.

The officer called for backup and searched West and his vehicle.

Three guns were found -- a 9mm Beretta in West's waistband, a Ruger .357 Magnum strapped to his leg, and a 12-gauge shotgun in a guitar case slung over his back, authorities said.

West also had additional shotgun shells in a backpack, authorities said.

It's worth noting that, shortly after the arrest, West's father, Dmitri West, said: "All I can say is Delonte was looking behind his back and protecting himself." From what, exactly, Dmitri? Bigfoot? The Terminator? A dinosaur? Because that was some serious armament for personal protection.

In other news, no word yet on whether West will be a playable character in the upcomign Left 4 Dead 2. But if I could kill zombies as Delonte West, I would probably go ahead and spring for an Xbox 360.

Labels: arrests, Delonte West, gun charges, zombies