This classic line from Darryl Dawkins makes me greatly fear for the safety of every toilet on Planet Lovetron: "I didn't mean to destroy it. It was the power, the Chocolate Thunder. I could feel it surging through my body, fighting to get out. I had no control over it."

Believe it or not, this is George Gervin's response to the same event: "I started to rush in to help out. Then I saw Double D cock the ball behind his head. I got the hell out of there. I knew what was coming. I had seen his Kansas City act on the TV replay. In slow motion. It was scary." Don't feel bad, George. You're not the first man to run from the Chocolate Thunder.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who laughed out loud reading these quotes (which are from NBA.com by the way). If you want to know what Sir Slam and the Iceman were really talking about, watch this video. It's the number three (and not, as you might suspect, number two).

Labels: Darryl Dawkins, dunks, George Gervin, Out of Contexts, poop humor, quotes

Bill Robinzine was a 6'7" forward out of DePaul University who played seven seasons (1975–1982) in the NBA for the Kansas City Kings, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, and Utah Jazz. He averaged 10 PPG and 6 RPG, and he appeared in only eight playoff games (all for the Kings). So chances are, you've never heard of him. But if you have heard of him, it's probably not for anything he accompished in his career. Unless you consider surviving a brutal posterization to be an "accomplishment."

In November 1979, Darryl "Chocolate Thunder" Dawkins dunked on Robinzine with such matchless seismicity that the backboard freaking exploded, sending Robinzine scampering away like a 10-year-old girl who just watched her pet kitten "Nibbles" get eaten alive by bullet ants.

To add insult to Bill's ego-ectomy, Dawkins named the dunk "Chocolate Thunder Flying, Glass Flying, Robinzine Crying, Babies Crying, Glass Still Flying, Catch Crap, Rump Roasting, Bun Toasting, Thank You, Wham, Bam, I Am Jam." Because nothing eases the pain of a savage facial quite like having your terrified retreat immortalized in a 25-word dunk name.

Here's a fun little video tribute to the event.


Fun fact: Chocolate Thunder was inventing dunk names waaaaay before NBA Street was doing it. Here are some of his best: the Rim Wrecker, the Go-Rilla, the Look Out Below, the In-Your-Face Disgrace, the Cover Your Head, the Yo-Mama, and the Spine-Chiller Supreme.

Labels: Bill Robinzine, Darryl Dawkins, Poster Boy Classics, shattered backboards

Lovetron (luv'-tron) noun. The tenth and farthest planet from the sun, having a sidereal period of revolution about the sun of 357.2 years and a diameter approximately half that of Earth.

Usage Example: The "Chocolate-Thunder-Flying, Robinzine-Crying, Teeth-Shaking, Glass-Breaking, Rump Roasting, Bun-Toasting, Wham-Bam-Glass-Breaker-I-Am-Jam" was invented on the planet Lovetron.

Word History: The existence of planet Lovetron was a mystery until the late 1970s when former Sixers star Darryl Dawkins admitted that he is, in fact, an alien creature from Lovetron. Due to its vast distance from Earth, no human being has ever visited Lovetron, although Dawkins claims to have traveled there each year during the NBA's offseason to practice "interplanetary funkmanship" and have relations with his girlfriend "juicy Lucy." According to Dawkins, the Lovetronians are currently redoing the south side of Lovetron in all pink. One side is already in rose, another side is in teal. It is unknown how many sides make up Lovetron.

Artist's rendition of sunset on the south side of Lovetron.

Labels: Darryl Dawkins, Lovetron, Word of the Day