During the 1981-82 season, Caldwell Jones ranked 9th in total blocked shots, 9th in blocks per game, and made the All-Defensive First Team. Those honors make the fact that he got posterized by a one-handed dunk from a white guy who was specifically known for his lack of jumping ability that much more awesome.

Labels: Caldwell Jones, Larry Bird, Poster Boy Classics, posterizations

Big men who are responsible for manning the paint are going to get dunked on. Science has proven this. Still, there's something so satisfying (to me anyway) about watching Shaquille "I'm the MDE" O'Neal get posterized. Especially after all the poor schmucks he's dunked into the ground over the years.

Here's a video of Alonzo Mourning pounding one down over his one-time nemesis. Not all that earth-shattering. After all, 'Zo was supposed to be able to do that.


Ditto for this one, where MJ walks by Shaq a couple times before flushing on him.


Now we officially enter the twilight zone, as Shaq eats a Spauldingburger served up fresh by Derrick Coleman of all people. Coleman then finger-wags the Diesal, Mutumbo-style.


Ruben Patterson tip-dunks over the big fella. Yup. Ruben Patterson.


Fast foward to the end of this video to watch Shaq get dunked on by the immortal Lawrence "Thunder" Funderburke.


Now watch Shaq's matador defense as he gets dunked on by...Jason Terry. Before watching this clip, I didn't even know Terry could dunk.


During his rookie year, Andrew Bynum made Shaq look like a statue with this dunk.


And here's the ultimate indignity...although it doesn't really qualify as a posterization because Shaq flopped his way out of the poster. Still, it's just sad enough to be included.

Labels: Poster Boy Classics, posterizations, Shaq

Bill Robinzine was a 6'7" forward out of DePaul University who played seven seasons (1975–1982) in the NBA for the Kansas City Kings, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, and Utah Jazz. He averaged 10 PPG and 6 RPG, and he appeared in only eight playoff games (all for the Kings). So chances are, you've never heard of him. But if you have heard of him, it's probably not for anything he accompished in his career. Unless you consider surviving a brutal posterization to be an "accomplishment."

In November 1979, Darryl "Chocolate Thunder" Dawkins dunked on Robinzine with such matchless seismicity that the backboard freaking exploded, sending Robinzine scampering away like a 10-year-old girl who just watched her pet kitten "Nibbles" get eaten alive by bullet ants.

To add insult to Bill's ego-ectomy, Dawkins named the dunk "Chocolate Thunder Flying, Glass Flying, Robinzine Crying, Babies Crying, Glass Still Flying, Catch Crap, Rump Roasting, Bun Toasting, Thank You, Wham, Bam, I Am Jam." Because nothing eases the pain of a savage facial quite like having your terrified retreat immortalized in a 25-word dunk name.

Here's a fun little video tribute to the event.


Fun fact: Chocolate Thunder was inventing dunk names waaaaay before NBA Street was doing it. Here are some of his best: the Rim Wrecker, the Go-Rilla, the Look Out Below, the In-Your-Face Disgrace, the Cover Your Head, the Yo-Mama, and the Spine-Chiller Supreme.

Labels: Bill Robinzine, Darryl Dawkins, Poster Boy Classics, shattered backboards

Basketbawful reader flohtingPoint reminded me of this sick dunk Kevin Johnson fed to Hakeem Olajuwon back on May 15, 1994. As Mr. Point put it: "Man, they sculpted that dunk out of bronze and gave it to KJ for his retirement trophy."

The Suns didn't really do that...but they should have. (Edit: I was very, very wrong about that. More tomorrow.) Not many players got to use Hakeem as an extra in their poster, at least not while The Dream was in his prime. (The Toronto Raptors' version of Hakeem doesn't count. For anything. Do not bring it up again.) Historical footnote: KJ had 38 points (15-for-31) and 12 assists in that game, but the Suns lost 107-96 despite perfect shooting nights from both Joe Klein (3-for-3) and Oliver Miller (0-for-0).


Of course, Hakeem, being Hakeem, got his revenge just two games later. Oddly, the Suns won that one 103-89.


Muchas gracias to Wormboy for the links.

Labels: blocked shots, Hakeem Olajuwon, Kevin Johnson, Poster Boy Classics, posterizations