Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Worst of the Night: Playoff Edition
By Basketbawful at 9:52 AM
12 comments


nuggets of fun

 The Boston Celtics: For a half, the Celtics looked like they just might steal Game 2 in New York. They shot 50 percent (8-for-16) in the first quarter and 61 percent (11-for-18) in the second. And during that second quarter, they limited the Knicks to 4-for-17 shooting and led by as many as nine points (48-39). It honest-to-goodness looked like coach Doc Rivers had made all the defensive and offensive adjustments necessary for his team to win.

Then the second half happened.

The Celtics seemingly forgot everything they'd ever learned about running an offense. Seriously, I haven't seen somebody have that much trouble scoring since my freshman year in college. In the third quarter, Boston went 4-for-18 from the field (including 0-for-3 from beyond the arc) and got outscored 32-11. The Celtics did manage to limit the Knicks to 13 points on 6-for-22 shooting in the fourth quarter...but they scored only 12 points on 3-for-18 shooting themselves.

So for those of you who enjoy simple math, Boston scored only 23 points on 7-for-36 shooting over the final two quarters. That's bad even by this site's standards.

Said Rivers: "I thought we attacked them in the first half, but they hung in there. They didn't let us throw a knockout punch and I thought in the second half they turned that on us and they threw a knockout punch. Several."

No arguments here.

According to ESPN Stats and Information, Boston's 19.4 percent second-half shooting was their worst shooting percentage in any postseason half since 1996-97. Which is weird since the Celtics didn't even make the playoffs that season. Or the season before. Or the season after. I'm guessing they were referring to the first half of Boston's 124-77 loss to the Orlando Magic in 1995...when the Green Machine rolled out a starting lineup of Dee Brown, Sherman Douglas, Eric Montross, Derek Strong and an over-the-hill Dominique Wilkins. Still, the point is, the Celtics had a historically bawful shooting half last night.

ESPN Stats and Information went on to note that Boston scored only 24 points in the paint, which is tied for their lowest in-the-paint output this season and a full 14 points below their season average for points in the paint. That's largely because the Knicks were both playing aggressive halfcourt defense and getting the benefit of some home cookin'. For example, there was one sequence that happened with about five minutes to go in the third when Paul Pierce got mugged at the rim with no call -- he even had his headband knocked off during the play -- followed by J.R. Smith earning two foul shots off a minor bump by Jeff Green.

It was just that kind of night. I'm not going to even run through the play-by-play. The bottom line is that, during the second half, the Celtics were roughed up in the paint and intimidated into taking a lot of contested long-range jump shots. Pierce looked frustrated most of the night. Kevin Garnett battled foul trouble and looked about twice as frustrated as Pierce. Jeff Green (3-for-11) apparently left his shooting touch back in the first half of Game 1. And Courtney Lee played only four minutes off the bench during a game in which the Celtics desperately needed some scoring, any scoring, from anybody.

Of course, that might be because of Lee's "assist" to Kenyon Martin in Game 1, but still.

Anyway, the Celtics are now a combined 14-for-63 (22 percent) in the second halves of Games 1 and 2. That wouldn't get it done against the Charlotte Bobcats, let alone the Knicks.

That said, KG did make a solid point after the game: "They haven't scored 90 points yet, and when you're playing a team like this, that's a good sign. We just have to figure out the offensive side of the ball, and not be so stagnated. Figure out ways to score more off opportunities, be aggressive, take advantage of mismatches."

Sounds great. Maybe in Game 3 we'll see if they can actually do it.
By the way, even though it happened before things went sour for the Celtics, this disastrous 12-second sequence pretty much defined the game:


The Milwaukee Bucks: Apparently, the fulfillment of Brandon Jennings' "Bucks in 6" prediction won't officially start until Game 3. Hey, Milwaukee could still win four in a row, right? Right? Anyone? Bueller?

Okay, look, we all know how this is going to end. The Bucks are dead men walking. They played reasonably well in Game 2 -- 50 percent shooting, 14 fast break points, 40 points in the paint, 23 points off turnovers -- and still lost by double digits. The Heat were basically sleepwalking for three quarters, then turned it on for about two minutes and won going away.

By the way, that "two minutes" comment wasn't even a joke. Miami reeled off a 12-0 from in exactly two minute to start the fourth quarter to turn a 68-65 lead into an 80-65 laugher. Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade weren't even in the game...and 10 of those 12 points were scored by Chris Andersen and Norris Cole.

Naturally, though, Miami's three quarters worth of relative apathy and indifference has actually given the Bucks hope. I'm not kidding.

Said Larry Sanders: "It's a series. We made progress this game."

Added Milwaukee coach Jim Boylan: "We felt pretty good about the position we were in, giving ourselves an opportunity on the road with 12 minutes to go. You feel good about that."

And then there was Jennings: "We showed a lot of improvement tonight. Aside of making that run in the fourth, I think we should have won this game."

Aside from that run...and Jennings' misguided shooting. Nostradamus Jr. scored only 8 points on 3-for-15 shooting and missed all seven of his three-point attempts. And the Bucks were outscored by 15 points when he was on the floor. And Brandon's backcourt mate, Monta Ellis, went 2-for-7, missed all three of his three-pointers, and committed 4 turnovers.

So to sum up, Milwaukee's best two players combined for 15 points on 5-for-22 shooting and 6 turnovers in 75 minutes of playing time. And a composite plus-minus of -20. Oh, and that 15 combined points is about 22 below their season average.

But maybe that's why the Bucks are feeling good about themselves. I mean, if those guys play even a little better, they have a decent chance of beating Miami at home. Right? Anyone? Bueller?

No, not really. The Bucks are condemned men, and we're watching them walk the NBA equivalent of the green mile. But at least Jennings gave us something to make fun of during the sweep. That's about the only thing worth keeping track of in this series.

Well, except this, maybe: According to ESPN Stats and Information, Miami has gone 44-for-57 (77.2 percent) inside five feet so far in this series. That's a full 10 percentage points higher than their FG% within five feet during the regular season...which led the league. So, yeah, give a hearty golf clap to Milwaukee's interior defense.

The Denver Nuggets: This game made me irrationally happy. Why? Because the 2012-13 Denver Nuggets were obviously channeling the collective spirit of the 1990-91 Denver Nuggets. Also known as (around these parts) as The Worst Defensive Team of All Time.

Yes, this game truly harkened back to those halcyon days, when Lawler's Law -- which states the first team to 100 points will win -- was about the best barometer for determining which team would win or lose a particular game. Speaking of which, did you know the 1990-91 Denver Nuggets held opponents below 100 points exactly zero times in 82 games? Or that they had more games in which teams scored between 150-159 points against them (6) than games in which they held a team below 110 points (4)? That team was so bad at defense that they averaged 119.9 points per game and still lost by an average of almost 11 points!

And yet even that group of defenseless misfits must have been shaking their heads in shock and embarrassment at the _efensive _isplay the current Nuggets put on last night.

Where to begin?

The Warriors had four players score 20 points or more, including Stephen Curry (30 points, 13-for-23), 13 assists), Jarrett Jack (26 points, 10-for-15, 7 assists), rookie Harrison Barnes (24 points, 9-for-14, 6 rebounds) and Klay Thompson (21 points, 8-for-11, 5-for-6 from beyond the arc).

Golden State's scoring by quarters went: 26 points on 11-for-19 shooting (57.9 percent), 35 points on 14-for-22 shooting (63.6 percent), 35 points on 13-for-19 shooting (68.4 percent) and 35 points on 13-for-19 shooting again.

As Nuggets coach George Karl said: "I don't think I've ever coached a game when a team got three 35-point quarters, maybe in my career. Ever."

Oh it gets better. Or worse if you're a Nuggets fan. According to ESPN Stats and Information, the Warriors shot 64.6 percent for the game, which is the highest FG% in a playoff game since the Utah Jazz shot 65.1 percent in a 129-90 win over the Phoenix Suns in 1991. And Golden State's 131 points were the most in a regulation playoff game since the Celtics scored 131 against the Lakers in Game 6 of the 2008 NBA Finals.

And did I mention the Warriors were 14-for-25 (56 percent). Or that the Nuggets got outrebounded by 10 and bricked 11 free throws? Or that Denver allowed Golden State to score at a rate of 131.2 points per 100 possessions and rebound almost a quarter of their (very few) missed shots?

Said Karl: "We didn't do much of anything very well."

Mind you, according to Ty Lawson, the game plan was "to keep the ball out of Stephen Curry's hands." So of course Curry had 30 points on 23 shots plus 13 assists. Oh, and Curry had three steal, meaning the Nuggets couldn't keep the ball out of Curry's hands even when they were on offense.

According to ESPN Stats and Information, Curry was 12-for-19 on shots 15 feet or more from the bucket, and 28 of his 30 points were scored from long range. So, uh, Nuggets...anybody got a hand to go with this face?

By the way, as the AP game recap noted, Curry had Golden State's first 30-10 game since Sleepy Floyd obliterated the Lakers with 51 points, 10 assists and 4 steals back in Game 4 of the 1987 Western Conference Semifinals (which Bill Simmons immortalized in writing at The Sleepy Floyd Game).

That's right: This game let me reminisce about both the 1990-91 Denver Nuggets and a classic humiliation of the Lakers. Good times.

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Worst of the Night: January 12, 2010
By Basketbawful at 4:44 AM
32 comments


Run for your lives
The recent hot play of the Grizzlies [!] and Clippers [!!]
caused a state of emergency at venerable FedEx Forum.

FedEx Forum: The Clippers-Grizzlies game featured two of the hottest team in the NBA. I bet you never expected to read that sentence on Basketbawful unless is was dripping with mockery and sarcasm. Seriously, I keep hoping I'll wake up from a coma and find out this is all a dream. But, alas, it's true. (Unless that coma thing works out for me. Go coma!) Memphis had won five straight at home, and The Other L.A. Team had taken four games overall.

So what happens when a suddenly irresistible force meets an inexplicably immovable object? The very forces of nature try to restore balance to the universe. Which is exactly what happened when FedEx Forum itself tried to bring this abomination to a halt. From the AP recap: "A broken water line in the fire sprinkler system triggered the arena's alarm system, forcing players, fans and officials outside for approximately 20 minutes."

According to Ball Don't Lie: "The building was completely evacuated. The Clippers hung out in the team bus. The media and others were shipped across the frozen street. Eventually, the teams were ordered back, and the game resumed -- with about 90 percent of what was already a pretty slim crowd. " BDL also posted video of the evacuation:


This event prompted the following comment from Basketbawful reader Hobbs:

"We are committed to providing our fans a world-class championship experience each night at FedExForum. With this in mind, we are inviting all fans who came to tonight's game to exchange their ticket for select locations based on availability for this Friday's game against the Minnesota Timberwolves starting tomorrow at 10 a.m. at the FedExForum Box Office."

This was part of the statement released by the Griz after they had to evacuate fans during the Clippers game (why anyone was even there is still a mystery to me) after something went wrong with the sprinkler system.

I fail to see how exactly the Grizzlies' management expect to provide fans a "world-class championship experience" by giving them free tickets to Grizzlies vs Timberwolves...
Seriously. I mean, at one time, those two squads would have been duking it out for the title of Worst Team in the Western Confernece. But the Griz are too good for that now. Which, again, is what I think led to this whole fiasco. The universe demands a balance. This won't be the last "incident."

O.J. Mayo, quote machine: "It was a little bit of adversity, something a little different. I just wanted to get back and start hoopin.' I didn't want them to call the game or postpone it. For some reason, it just seemed like it gave us a second chance. We were down 12 at the time. But this team has been through a lot of adversity so it was nothing new for us. We just had to stick together, go out there and play hard."

The Los Angeles Clippers: The evacuation must have rattled them. The Other L.A. Team led 89-77 with 47 seconds left in the third quarter when the building was cleared...and ended up losing 104-102 after play resumed.

Of course, Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy Sr. thinks that's a bunch of bullpoopy: "[The delay] had nothing to do with us losing. We came back in the fourth quarter. We got beat to loose balls and offensive rebounds." That last part might have something to do with...

Chris Kaman: The reigning Western Conference Player of the Week finished with zero points, zero rebounds, zero assists in zero minutes after he aggravated a sore back...during pregame warmups. That might partly explain why Marc Gasol -- who wasn't even supposed to play last night -- ended up with a co-team-high 24 points (10-for-14) and a game-high 15 rebounds.

Crazy-ass Stat of the Night: Memphis is 9-2 in games following a defeat since opening the season with a 1-8 record. Seriously.

The Washington Wizards Generals Bullets: The Detroit Pistons entered last night's game losers of 13 straight. They were without Tayshaun Prince, Ben Gordon and Will Bynum. Plus, they were playing their second road games on back-to-back nights, having lost by 33 points in Chicago the previous night. And the Washington players actually made it their mission to win this game. Said Nick Young: "We talked about it. We didn't want to be the team they beat."

How could the Bullets not pull this one out? Simple: 'cause they're the Bullets.

I mean, I guess there were a few tangible reasons. Three players missed the morning shootaround because they were being questioned in Agent Zero's gun investigation. Javaris "locked and loaded" Crittenton -- the teammate whose fight with Arenas led to the whole gun mess -- has been excused from attending practices or games until the legal issues are resolved. Andray Blatch was suspended from last night's game for being a dumbass. Mike Miller has been doing his best Greg Oden impression all season. Oh, and of course Gilbert Arenas didn't play. In fact, Washington management has fired up the Ultimate Nullifier in an attempt to wipe Gilbert's very memory out of existence.

What a mess.

"It's been a little chaotic around here for the most part the last couple days," said Caron Butler in what may be an early candidate for Understatement of the Year. "That's something that you don't want to have to keep revisiting. As a player, you want to focus on basketball and basketball only."

Translation: Please, God, let it end.

Added coach Flip Saunders: "We just weren't mentally alert." You know, as opposed to the other kinds of alert you can be.

Speaking of Flipper, he provided a little more info about the exchange that led to the Blatch suspension: "He said, 'Well, I didn't get a shot in a game.' If you're 6-10, 6-11, you can get a shot by getting an offensive rebound and getting shots. Anybody, whether it's him or anybody, that thinks a coach has to run plays to get you shots -- that's the sign of a team that's not going to be a very good team."

Well, that's one sign, anyway. One among a great many.

The Houston Rockets: The Pluckiest Underdogs in the West had their pluck plucked away by Stephen Jackson and his Charlotte Bobcats. Although, to be honest, it was mostly just Jackson, who shot 15-for-22 and scored 16 of his career-high 46 points in the decisive fourth quarter.

Said Trevor Ariza: "He hurt us. He's a really good player that can get hot at any time. Once he got going, we couldn't find a way to slow him down." Really? A hand in his face might have helped. Or maybe even a double team or two. I mean, we're still talking about Captain Jack, right? Did he drink a bottle of Kobe Bryant juice before the game or something?

Beyond their inability to defend the unstoppable-against-them Stephen Jackson, the Rockets committed five turnovers (including two shot clock violations) and missed nine three-pointers in the fourth quarter...which should tell you a few things about Houston's shot selection down the stretch. You don't win road games against good defensive teams by playing bombs away from deep.


The Los Angeles Lakers: Well...Mamba didn't play the fourth quarter because of back spasms, and Pau Gasol missed his fifth game because of a strained hamstring. I'm sure you see where this is going.

The Spurs rolled to a 105-85 victory -- their eighth win in the last 10 games -- while Lakers dropped their fourth straight road game, their longest road losing streak since they failed in five straight during March of 2007.

See?! The Spurs are contenders! Or...something.

Said Timmy D: "Obviously they're dealing with some injuries, and Kobe doesn't play in the fourth quarter or whatever it may be, but it's a great win for us. We'll take it where we can get it." Added Tony Parker: "Obviously Kobe didn't play the fourth, but a win is a win. We'll take it." You'll have to, guys. Your team is only 4-11 this season against teams that aren't sub-.500.

As for Lakers fans, they must be feeling a little twitchy after watching Kobe "I don't get injured, I get better" Bryant voluntarily left a game due to injury. Said Kobe: "I could barely move. I tried to orchestrate some things for my team, couldn't walk. I literally couldn't walk. It's the only way I don't play."

And that's the only way he'd ever attempt a season-low 10 field goals. But I digress. Mamba said he's "pretty sure" he'll play tonight in Dallas, then added "and I'll probably drop 50 on their asses" under his breath.

At any rate, the Lakers' real problem wasn't Kobe (who, after all, had 16 points on 7-for-10 shooting through three quarters), it was their defense, which allowed San Antonio to shoot nearly 57 percent. Oh, then there was the 27 points they gave up off 15 turnovers. You know, as I look at the circumstance and the stats, shouldn't the Spurs be a little worried they didn't win by 30 or more?

The Sacramento Kings: How does a team go from being up two points entering the final quarter to losing 109-88 at home? Well, by getting outscored 33-10 in the final 12 minutes for starters. But that's just simple mathematology, and math can't do justice to the 4-for-22 brick party the Kings held in the fourth quarter. Never have the words "It's like watching a bunch of retards try to hump a doorknob" been more appropriate.

Kings wft

Of course, Dwight Howard (30 points, 16 boards, 5 assists, 3 steals, 3 blocked shots) formed an unbreakable wall between the Kings and the hoop, which probably explains why the Sactowners got outscored 52-26 in the paint.

Said Beno Udrih: "They took advantage of everything we did wrong. We shot bad shots, missed good shots and they took advantage of that. They went on some fast breaks and got some buckets. We just cannot win like that."

Matt Painter, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Basketbawful reader Clifton submitted this quote by the coach of the Team That Shall Not Be Named: "Evan Turner had his way with all of our guys." Wow. Turner must be truly insatiable.

The NBA: Two teams were fined $10,000 each for standing in front of the bench. No, I'm not kidding.

Brandon Jennings: The rook made himself look silly by getting into a slap fight via Twitter with a fake Jordan Farmar. No, I'm still not kidding.

Best quote by the fake Farmar: "You started with the smack talking, and I ended it with the 2 threes. We even? Cool." Best response by the real Jennings: "but I'm not going to beef with you. See you should be worried about your spot. Shannon Brown(notes)??? That's all imma say."

You can expect "that's all imma say" to become a new tagline here.

Lacktion report: And now a brief lacktion report from Chris, who is no doubt still mourning the miserable loss by his Purple Paupers.

Lakers-Spurs: Sasha Vujacic machined himself a slab of gold worth 3.1 trillion (3:06) while Josh Powell baked a brick for a +1 suck differential in 4:21. Meanwhile, San Antonio's Theo Ratliff negated a block and two assists in 3:54 with a foul for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Clippers-Grizzlies: In a game bawful enough to be delayed by a loading bay getting flooded, former Boston lacktator Lester Hudson immediately proved his worth in his Grizzlies debut by providing a celebratory +3 in 2:49 via foul and two bricks (one from Beale Street)!!!

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