While hiking in the Nepalese Himalayas, the Basketbawful reporter known simply as Glenn was recently kidnapped by a group of Maoist rebels. They are holding him for ransom and currently only allowing him minimal access to the internet. As distressing as this may seem, the leader of the group wanted to make clear that the blogger should be back by the playoffs. The following statement was conveyed via morse code to our press offices.
The blogger you know as Glenn wanted to express his remorse over not posting lately, and to assure readers that he will be back in full force for the playoffs. He had taken the journey to contemplate the mysteries of the Lakers duking it out with the Jazz for an 8th seed, and to see if he could grow a Dallas Mavericks type beard.
Due to the contemplative nature of his journey, the imprisoned author apparently wants to extend an olive branch to the AP, an organization that he often mocked. In one of his brief moments of internet access, he was said to have enjoyed this recap by Kyle Hightower
. In addition to thinking that Kyle Hightower is a really cool name, the blogger was impressed by Hightower doing the research to show that Tobias Harris and Nikola Vucevic were the first teammates to both have 30/19 games since Walt Bellamy and Willis Reed did it for the Knicks in 1967.
The blogger did manage to smuggle Tuesday's lacktion report out of the country, written in blood.
Pacers-Cavaliers: Orlando Johnson whipped out a +6 suck differential in 9 minutes of play for the Pacers.
Heat-Bucks: Jarvis Varnado's 2 minutes for the Heat resulted in a +1 suck differential.
Nets-76ers: A +3 suck differential befell Kris Joseph after 5 minutes and 8 seconds spent representing the Nets.
Grizzlies-Bobcats: The Grizzlies were busy, with Dexter Pittman finding his way to an eclectic +4 suck differential in 2 minutes and 27 seconds. Meanwhile, Tony Wroten cooked up a more traditional +2 suck differential in roughly 2 and a half minutes of play.
Thunder-Jazz: Marvin Williams climbed his way towards a 2 trillion, but didn't quite make it.
Warriors-Timberwolves: Chris Johnson similarly was left looking up at a 4 trillion.
Lakers-Hornets: Darius Miller of the Hornets attained a +3 suck differential in 6 minutes.
At press time, a rather bitching kung fu battle was said to be taking place. There were also reports of a heavily armed Pam Grier being seen crossing the Bhutan border, apparently coming to the aid of her long time love interest.
And is it bad that whenever that region (Himalayas) is mentioned, I immediately think of that temple scene in Ace Ventura?
How 'bout a good post.
No improvement defensively, maybe. You see, I've never bought the Bryant as elite defender narrative. Like Iverson did, Bryant cheats on defense. Looks good on defensive ratings, because he racks of steals, but he lets his guy into the lane too often.
The current Chinese government might be called authoritarian-corporatist. Regardless, Maoist rebels would strongly disagree with anybody supporting modern China and its wealth-pursuing culture and elite classes.
Just sayin'. It's a global league now after all.