You may have thought I was kidding when I suggested that the players were organizing some sort of revolt against the referees. It may have seen like the half-coherent ramblings of a lunatic conspiracy theorist. Well, I think Larry Sanders has done his part to remove all doubt. It's as clear as an azure sky of deepest summer now, the Ref War is officially underway. I only hope they don't cancel the playoffs.


The stakes are getting hire, the consequences more severe. In the words of the sportscaster, Bill Kennedy got "smoked" by the demonic elbow of Larry Sanders. Notice how players can't wait to dole out their dastardly retributions. The clock had barely ticked off a second, and already a ref was on the floor.

Perhaps you don't think that this attack was premeditated. Perhaps you're thinking that this was just a freak accident. I understand the urge to bury your head in the sand. War against the refs is a frightening concept. Yet, this was no accident, no mere coincidence. This was revenge. You may recall an incident in mid-March where Sanders was ejected and gave each of the refs a thumbs up.


At the time, many interpreted these upward thumbs as a sarcastic gesture. Now it seems all too clear, they were a threat, a promise, an opposably pointed kiss of death. Larry planned to give the refs much more than a thumbs up, and now he's making good on his heinous threat. Before the season's through, we can expect two more of these.

As basketball fans, I know that we've all had problems with refs from time to time, but for the sake of the game this madness has to stop. These things escalate quickly. It's only a matter of time before Ramon Sessions whacks a zebra with a pair of nunchucks.

And then what? The entire Utah Jazz starting 5 showing up with dirt bikes and switch blades? Suddenly, the referees are too afraid to defend themselves with technicals, and the apparent ringleader of this insurrection, a man they call Roscoe, has gone underground as splinter cells operate with autonomy. Be afraid refs, be very afraid.
5 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Hilarious!
Now the NBA becomes a Mad Max like affair where mutant PED enhanced giants wage a lopsided battle against the hopeless refs. But then Joey Crawford will rise to restore law and order, one Tech at a time...

Blogger Barry said...
Bill Kennedy's people working overtime, the vid is already down!

Blogger Wormboy said...
In a weird and creepy twist on this theme, NBA ref Greg Willard just died of pancreatic cancer. No joke. Very sad.

http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/9125924/longtime-nba-referee-greg-willard-dies-california-54

My research focuses on mechanisms of this nasty cancer. I really wish we could make some progress, but the 5 year survival rate is still around 5%.

Blogger Glenn said...
I love your post-apocalyptic vision of things to come, Anonymous. I'd buy that for a dollar, as they say. Thanks for the tip, Barry. It looks like I'll have to be vigilant too. I found another video, but it's probably just a matter of time before the dogs sniff it out.

Anonymous Doug said...
Put the vid back up!!

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