20110504-pau-gasolThis is the most quintessentially Pau Gasol picture I could hope to find

Everyone here in Louisville is going Derby crazy (or, actually, the locals are all excited for the Oaks today, since it's the much cheaper, everyman's alternative to the Derby). Me? I don't care. Why watch the fastest two minutes in sports when I can watch the most excruciatingly slow 48 minutes in sports that is playoff basketball? (Just teasing. Kind of.)

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

20110504-mark-cubanWoah, Cuban's looking a little scary. Is he gonna try to crush my head?


20110504-mark-cuban-shawn-marionNope, he's just going to crush Shawn Marion's head instead


20110504-larry-davidIs Larry David drinking tea instead of coffee? Mocha Joe is gonna be pissed


20110504-derrick-rose-mvpSerious observation: Derrick Rose did not smile when he had to go through the MVP ceremony. I like that from an MVP. He just wants to get that crap out of the way and play.


Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Bulls at Hawks, ESPN, 7pm (Series tied 1-1): So are we going to be seeing Boozer's picture on Chicago area milk cartons any time soon? Or, more appropriately, why haven't we already?

Lakers at Mavericks, ESPN, 9:30pm (Mavs lead series 2-0): I fully expect the Lakers to win this game by 30 points just to screw with my head. Nothing in the NBA goes as we expect it to anymore. After all, Dallas had lost 18 of their last 20 road playoff games... and then go take two straight in LA?


* * *

Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Thunder at Grizzlies, ESPN, 5pm (Series tied 1-1): I love you, random Associated Press writers:
Call it the ultimate man defense. Grizzlies forward Shane Battier says he was literally boxed in when stuck in an elevator between floors for 25 minutes on his way to practice.
Heat at Celtics, ABC, 8pm (Heat lead series 2-0): Super-duper depressing stat of the day per John Schuhmann: Score of MIA-BOS series when Glen Davis & Joel Anthony are both on floor (47 min): Heat 83, Celtics 52.


* * *

Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Lakers at Mavericks, ABC, 3:30pm (Mavs lead 2-0 as of Friday morning): Trying to say anything about this game until we see Friday night's game is a waste of time. It'd be like attempting to defend Dirk Nowitzki's fallaway jumper -- it doesn't matter what you do, that thing's going in anyway.

Bulls at Hawks, TNT, 8pm (Series tied 1-1 as of Friday morning): Sebastian Pruiti retweeted this chart of pure, unadulterated pain earlier today: "Check Josh Smith's shot chart in the playoffs."

Labels:

144 Comments:
Blogger BJ said...
Make it even funnier. Find a soundbyte of somebody barfing.

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
Referees for tonight's LAL-DAL game: Dick Vaetta, Danny Crawford, and Bennett Salvatore, with special "guest ref", Tim Donaghy! I like those odds for the Lakers!

Kidding aside, I'm excited for this de facto elimination game tonight, I don't have that awful feeling I had before, and especially after, game 2. What about you Dallas fans and Laker anti-fans? "My soul is prepared, how's yours?"

Blogger Viscant said...
http://cdn.mediatakeout.com/48386/lakers_drama_nba_star_pau_gasol_blames_teammate____for_breaking_up_his_relationship.html
Linked by stephanie g in the last post.

In the Laker fan community we're trying to figure out who it is.
It could be Matt Barnes because that would by hysterically funny.
It could be Vanessa Bryant because she's insane and already ruined things with Karl Malone and allegedly has messed with other relationships in the past.
It could be Khloe just because that would be hilarious but it probably isn't because the other Laker wives have blacklisted her.
It could be Shannon Brown's wife Monica because Shannon and Pau just seem incredibly off right now.

This is what we've come to as Lakers fans. Trying to figure out whose wife ruined Pau Gasol's life and thus ruined our season.

I'm about as depressed as Pau is right now, I'm going to load up some My Chemical Romance videos on youtube and wait for the game to start.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
It looks like Cuban was having a "Heeeere's Johnny" contest with Jack Nicholson.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Dan B: was this your inspiration for the Cuban head crushing? Or was it this?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
FEAR THE WARDEN! The same way we feat every waking minute Spo stupidly gives Ilgauskas

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Rose with the 44 point daggar *INSERT JORDAN COMPARISON HERE*

Blogger The Nightbringer said...
Lakers hating each other so much that they're passing to the other team!

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
Lakers leading by 4 at the half, but feels like they're trailing.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Mullin compared him to Jordan at halftime of the Lakers-Mavs soap opera.

Blogger The Nightbringer said...
Ladies and gentlemen, let's give it up for your new Choke Masters of 2011, the LOS ANGELES LAKERS!

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Na-na-na, na-na-na, hey-hey-hey, Mamba you're out of the playoffs!

Lakers down 3-0. Stick a fucking fork in them. Goodbye!

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
A deserved outcome for both teams.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Ding dong, the Lakers are dead.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Matt Barnes: 1 rebound and 2 fouls in 10:40, but he was the only Laker with positive +/-.

Anonymous Karc said...
Dallas in the clutch has been absolutely amazing. Fourth quarter scoring through 3 games, 25-16, 25-19, 32-20. Of course, that was not helped by the Lakers' stupidity. 50 points (!) in the paint before they started taking jumpers and subsequently losing the game.

As for the Lakers, well, it wouldn't be a classic meltdown without this nugget.

http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/media-they-smear-what-they-dont-understand-29678

So the rumor (and it's just that), is that Gasol's hot girlfriend broke up with him before the start of the playoffs. Not mentioned by Brooks was the insinuation was that it was actually Bryant's wife that pushed for it.

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/90047567?Lakers%20also%20face%20off%20court%20woes%3B%20Gasol%20says%20teammate%20ruined%20his%20romance

Fitting that the Lakers pushed out to an 8-point 4th quarter lead with Gasol and Byrant on the bench, then everything went to hell once they got back in. Bynum may have been revealing a little too much when he said "trust issues."

Sunday will be a party for the Mavs. They clearly want this more.

Blogger Tristan said...
@TransINANO - Fantastic Indiana Jones reference.

@Basketbawful - Agree with that pic of Gasol losing / flailing away at the basketball, plus shocked / pain-stricken face, particularly after minimal i.e. non-life-threatening contact from an opposing player. What a fruit cake. Puts to rest all that "best big man in the game" horseshit that's been foisted upon this soft-ass during the last three years. Dirk Nowitzki is the best big in basketball.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
GO MAVS!!!!!!!! 3-0!!!!!!

Anonymous kazam92 said...
That shirtless Peja pic that adorns the banner should be sent to every Laker fan on Earth

Blogger stephanie g said...
That game was so sexy. Downright explicit. Too hot for TV. I have the vapors! Terry and Peja coming up clutch in a huge game? Peja DENYING Odom on the baseline at the critical juncture? My world is collapsing. Dirk is a thunder god with flowing golden lockes! Snatching the heart out of LA and smashing it with the Mjöllnir. So easy even a caveman can do it.

What should LA do? Bynum #1 option? Go at Dirk? Tell Kobe to take 40 FGA a la '06 Kobe? And where's that wired segment so we can hear Phil's colorful advice to Pau and Bynum.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
What the...? The Lakers choking in crunch time? The Mavs indomitably making clutch bucket after clutch bucket? What kind of bizarre world have I stumbled into? Mind... breaking...

....

Goodbye! Me am so sad Lakers mini-dynasty coming to an end. Me am hope Lakers have huge comeback in series. Kobe am looking like Jordan in clutch. Gasol am better player than Nowitzki: Nowitzki biggest choke artist in series. Me am wallow in gloom when series end; Laker Basketball am thing of beauty to watch. Hello!

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
Peja Stojakovic just dashed our three-peat hopes... I feel like Marty McFly in bizarro 1985. I need to check a newspaper to make sure it's not 2002.

This feels more like 2004 though, with an unlikely team exposing all the Lakers' flaws. Really Lakers? With everything on the line and an eight point lead, you couldn't just ram it inside every time? You thought those jumpers you'd been missing all series were still the way to go after getting the lead going inside? Even the two Kobe makes over Kidd to keep the lead up made me wince, because I already knew where it was going down the stretch.

Anyway, congrats to the Mavs, this felt like a revenge series, not for you, but for all the other hard-playing underdogs the Lakers lazily rolled over this decade. All that's left is to enjoy is the delusional hope of a 2004 Red Sox situation; unfortunately, I think it's pretty clear Pau Gasol ISN'T on steroids (sorry Boston fans, I know this has nothing to do with you). Once that's over, if it wasn't for Dirk and Kidd, I'd probably turn total heel and root against the Mavericks no matter who they played, even the Heat (at least they're worthy... see, it's already happening).

Anonymous r13 said...
Cuban lookin' like Ash from Evil Dead. Ready to introduce the Fakers to his 'boomstick'.

Anonymous Arouet said...
Basketbawful, you better give the Mavs credit for that win. We couldn't hit the side of the rim in the second half and they were about to put us away...and then Peja hit a couple of threes and forced the Lakers to switch Odom back on to him (and leave Gasol at Dirk's mercy), we started funneling Kobe into our help defenders, and then Dirk wouldn't let us lose. I would know. Terry's last three pointer? He hit that 30 feet in front of me. Best game experience ever.

So please, pretty please, don't just say the Lakers choked and give the Mavs credit for taking the game right before the window slammed shut?

Anonymous bing said...
I am lost for words. 3-peating is hard, i understand that. But getting even one win in the second round? C'mon LA, what the hell? :(

Anonymous Don Ebay Mølse said...
I <3 Dirk

Anonymous Cetti said...
another awesome piece of Dirk-love everybody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU6UHBYJOUw&feature=share

Anonymous Geert said...
I really really really want to see the Mavs sweep this series, win tomorrow and get it over with. However, I'm still a bit uneasy considering their choke history. What will happen if the Lakers win the next game? Can Dallas handle that pressure or will the succumb to thoughts on their previous playoff demises? I hope they advance but don't dare to count on it. Not yet.

However, this will make me even more happy if they do win the series.

I don't really care who wins it all this year. I'll be happy with Boston, Dallas, Chicago, Oklahoma City, don't really care about Atlanta and Denver and really don't want it to be LA or Miami.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Execution-execution-execution. The Mavs are executing their offense ownderfully for the most part (Dirk was clearly pissed about a few minute stretch at the end of the first half.) Doesn't matter whether the shots are falling or not, execute your plan. Be unselfish. Poised, cool, and collected. Damn, but the Mavs are intensely focused on playing their absolutely best basketball. This is how a team should play ball in the playoffs. They may or may not win a ring, but they are playing their best, and hats off to them.

They are, in fact, the anti-Lakers. First, let me say one thing. By scapegoating Pau Gasol (I guess we need to distinguish which Gasol we are discussing these days) the fans, media and teammates are minimizing his chances of pulling his game together. I call that a Lakers organization fail. Second, how do you blame all of the defensive lapses on Gasol? How do you blame Gasol for the Lakers playing one-on-one ball in the fourth quarter? The Mavs are locking down Pau, fine. Can't the Lakers move the freakin ball and get open shots? The Lakers of previous years would have this series much closer. This is not taking away from the Mavs, but the Lakers are not playing good playoff basketball. On paper the Lakers team should be able to beat the Mavs, even if Pau blew out his knee. In practice, the Mavs are executing the way champions do (see the execution of championship Spurs) on both O and D. They might not have the spring and talent to win it all, but they are doing things right. The Lakers are not.

Look at their assignments. Who is guarding Kobe? Who is Kobe guarding? Single coverage by Jason Kidd's grandfather is slowing "the best player ever?" Horse shit. Kobe has a beautifully efficient game last night, but he once again failed to be a franchise player in the 4th quarter. Dirk stole his lunch money, and Dirk is playing like an MVP.

Where is fucking Bynum? Odom? In what universe do you guys not utterly dominate in this series? We're not talking a Perkins-Garnett front line here. Bynum at least is playing well.

But the real curse of the Lakers? PG and the bench. The Lakers are outmatched from 5 through 9, and not particularly excelling at 1-4. Frankly, I think Bynum is more valuable to the Lakers in this series than is Kobe. When Barrea is a problem for you, you do not deserve to win a series.

So yeah, Gasol is looking bad, but the hounding of him only makes him worse, and he is marking by far the best player in the series. Also, the rest of the Lakers are just not what they used to be. So as somebody said, stick a fork in it. I'll add my two cents: stop whining and stop scapegoating, you pussies. The Lakers had these weaknesses all season. We all debating whether they could flip that switch. The answer is no. It's a team that is past its expiration date.

Anonymous Aaron said...
will LA trade Gasol or Bynum for Howard?

Anonymous AK Dave said...
@Wormboy: Hear hear. I take issue with one segment of your comment only: it's "Barea", not "Barrea". The man has earned the right to have his name spelled AND pronounced correctly. Someone send ESPN a fucking memo. (they keep calling him "barera")

So can we finally retire this utterly ridiculous mantra of "The Lakers are just TOO BIG UP FRONT!"? Look, size matters, in life and basketball, but how much empty and lazy analysis have we seen by *ahem* sportswriters who predicted a Lakers win based on the fact that "They have TOO MUCH SIZE!" and nothing more.

In the past the Lakers have won because they were a more disciplined and talented basketball team than their opponents. Not just because they were taller.

But really, before this series started, the only reasons listed by the experts for a Lakers win were:

1. They're taller
2. They're the Lakers

No real basketball analysis at all. In fact, most of the analysis of this series on the interwebs has been backward-looking and focused on SEASONS ago, when Dallas lost and/or the Lakers won.

That was then. This is now. Oh, happy day!

Blogger Ragib said...
LA has kobe signed for another 3 years and Pau isn't going anywhere. Even if they traded Bynum for Howard, could they fit Howards salary? The new CBA might make that hard.

Blogger Tristan said...
@Wormboy – I almost took your entire post seriously (and agreed with some points), until your two cents at the end. Stay classy.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Some interesting takes on the Lakers here...www.thecrabdribble.com

Anonymous toT said...
wormboy, you call 16 shots to make 17 points wonderfully efficient? I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Anonymous mattzilla said...
"Single coverage by Jason Kidd's grandfather is slowing "the best player ever?""

That was the key. With Dirk and Kobe, if they get the shot off they're gonna make the shot or miss the shot whether they're doubled or not. Dallas played this well and Kobe missed. LA played this poorly and Dirk made the shot or got the assist.

Also, it doesn't help that the Lakers get so one-dimensional in the 4th that I'm tempted to call Kobe 'the 1st dimension', even if it's a stupid nickname.

Anonymous Wave said...
Congratulations Cavs! You've won as many games against Dallas this year as the Lakers won against them in the playoffs!

Blogger Wormboy said...
@AK Dave: dammit, "Barea" gets me every time because it is non-phonetic. And non-phonetic spellings kill me. Then again, remember Phil Jackson in 08 calling Leon Powe "Pow" when it is pronounced "Poe?" I consider myself in excellent company. :D

@Tristan: I get you, my comment sounds like something from a dickslinging ESPN sportscaster. But I really think that is true. The Lakers have been more talented than the level they've played at for the last few years, including this year. But at some point age will erode your talents so that you'll only win if you play up to your potential. Since they rarely have, why should they now? They REALLY ARE past their expiration date. But granted, the comment is far too cute.

@toT: At some point in the second half, Kobe was something like 7 of 9. He was having a remarkably efficient game and non-volume game up until the second half of the 4th quarter. When he does that, the Lakers are a far better team. However, down the stretch Kobe (and Odom) both made a number of "me against the Mavs" plays. Kobe also hoisted at least three wild long shots at the end trying to catch up. So if you look at Kobe up until crunch time, he was have a great game. Not coincidentally, I think, that was when the momentum shifted to Dallas. Again, it's about executing your game plan. It's also, as Bynum said, about trust. Unless one team is far better than the other, the team that plays a better team game will win. Ask Shane Battier. {Ugh, did I just deferentially reference dookie?}

Anonymous milt_palacio said...
Dwight Howard hanging out with Chewbacca while wearing Mickey-Mouse-ears. 'Nuff said.

http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/index?id=6499749

Anonymous Ignarus said...
Every time I see Pau Gasol's face on TV, I can't help but see how much it must suck being Kobe's teammate. I mean, how much must is suck to have a guy calling you out in the press for not being aggressive when your accuser can't make a layup in the open court.

If Kobe says anything about the Lakers' struggles that doesn't start and end with his own personal limitations out there, he's just adding to the evidence that he's the worst kind of hypocrite.

The man's in full-on "Game 7 vs Suns" mode and looking for someone else to blame for screwing up Phil's 4th 3-peat.

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
stephanie g - If Kobe could still be '06 Kobe, this Laker team would be unbeatable, guy could score at will from anywhere within 25 feet. Outscored the Western Conference Champion Mavs... BY HIMSELF. In retrospect, I don't think that season was appreciated enough, even by Lakers fans. It was like a cartoon. Anyway, Pau was supposed to continue offseting Kobe's decline, but... now we're seeing why he didn't get the Tony Parker Award in the Finals.

AK Dave - You're mostly right, but when they say size, they're talking talented size, which is what they've won on more than anything. The most frustrating thing about this team, even when they won championships, is that instead of dominating like they could, they always did just enough instead of working hard every possession (for the perfect counterexample, see the '08 Celtics). As far as their past discipline goes, they've always done the things that are killing them in this series, they're the same bad habits, only they've gotten away with them past couple of years. Ignoring their bigs, being inefficient in crutch time, taking bad shots, not hustling. It finally caught up with them against the perfect team to punish them for their sloth and hubris. Dallas plays the right way AND has the eye of the Tiger, just like the '04 Pistons.

Anonymous Ignarus said...
BTW, if it wasn't obvious from my first comment, it seems really clear that the big difference between *this* Lakers team and others that were real title contenders is that Kobe, a guy who regularly commands triple teams, is being handled well by a lonely Jason Kidd.

Of course, you've got the chemistry-ruining nonsense of him taking his frustrations out on everyone else, but that's all stuff that's on TOP of the fact that Kobe just isn't playing that well.

And what makes Kobe suck as a teammate is the he's too concerned about deflecting blame onto someone else to be an effective leader who builds confidence in guys who are struggling.

Blogger Dan said...
There goes the last team that could beat Miami. Sorry, Clevelanders. That's going to sting.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@wormboy, I'd argue that the Mavs are taller in the right positions this time around. No-one can guard Dirk and no-one was able to shut down Peja. When a guy is 6-10 and can basically shoot standstill threes and not a lot more (although, let's be fair, he did knock down a couple of fake-one dribble-pull ups) you need to be out on him.

Pau has the thankless task of trying to stop arguably the most unstoppable guy (on his day) in the league. Certainly top 3 by anyone's reckoning?

Anonymous Rich Muhlach said...
Laker fan here.. bummed about the loss.. down 3-0.. but hey, didn't the Lakers have a 3-1 lead up on the Suns a few years back, then still lost the series? And wasn't Dallas up 2.75 - 0 against the cHEAT until DWade and the refs took over the 4th quarter of game 3 and won the FINALS?

I know, I know, just being optimistic... but hey, it ain't over till Khloe Kardashian sings...

Anonymous toT said...
Wormboy, not only is crunchtime part of the game, it is the most important part. Yes Kobe may have had an efficient game for most of it, but going into "me against the Mavs mode" as you put it, it is part of the game, and part of his efficiency overall. The game is 48 minutes, not 40. 19 FGA for 32 points is a beautifully efficient game, especially the work done in crunch time.

Anonymous Aaron said...
@Dan. That's why even though I don't really like the Lakers, I want them to get to the final. No other teams in the West can beat Miami, which may also sweep the Boston. GODDAMNIT.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Yea Wormboy, I realize you want to sperg out, but at least Bynum can't be blamed for last night. They were just inexplicably not passing it into the post for him, despite the first 3 quarters of him being the Lakers' best player.

Blogger Doug H. said...
@Dan: A team that struggled against New Orleans and can't beat Dallas was the only one to beat the Heat? Some of us here have been thinking the slo-mo Lakers didn't stand a chance against Miami.

Meanwhile, Dallas and Memphis for the Western Conference Finals? I can imagine the look on David Stern's face.

Blogger Factfinder said...
I propose that we refer to Kobe as BM from now on...short for Bowel Movement, not Black Mamba...

Also, if Pau really is all broken up over his longtime girlfriend, I propose that we refer to him as P*ssy Galore...

Anonymous William said...
Early coach interview from Celtics-Heat, Spoelstra:

"We knew there were going to be three or four emotional parts to this game, that was one of them, we didn't play well."

Yes Coach, they're called 'Quarters', there are four of them, never three.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Celtics are done. Rondo just had a Shaun Livingston moment with his left elbow. Surgery, a few months rehab. Celtics don't get past this series without Rondo. Over, done. Just like when Webber blew out his knee. OK, that was Sac-town's year. Probably not so for the Celts, but no chance now.

Blogger Wormboy said...
How the hell is Rondo in the game?!?!?!?!

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Christina Bosh with a triple-single!

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Who was that gigantic fat guy for the Celtics who can't run, jump, or play basketball?

Anonymous TeamD said...
WORMBOY aka Devin Harris aka Jameer Nelson ... hahaha

Anonymous kobefearslebron said...
hey bawful,

i think pierce needs his wheelchair badly..

from yahoo sports:
http://d.yimg.com/a/p/sp/ap/6f/fullj.723a8f56e772abce22f9dc2bfbeab393/ap-201105072203793941899.jpg

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
@Wormboy - That was the best double post ever.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
is it just me or did wade's fall look way too perfect to have been "natural"?

in other words, am I crazy for thinking he intentionally tripped Rondo (not saying he intended to dislocate his elbow, just intended to bring him down)?

Anonymous Drew said...
Rondo showed some real heart tonight, but surely, SURELY, he can't play again this season on that injury? As anyone who's ever dislocated anything will know...that hurts.

If he does, then surely Spoelstra will have his defender a minimum of four feet off him or force him left. As bad a shooter as he is normally, with one hand...

Anonymous The Chief said...
How come all the attention is on Rondo's contorted elbow, and not the injured Bosh? I mean, getting castrated on-court by KG surely will keep him out for a while, right?

Blogger Ragib said...
Rondo said he wasn't feeling the pain because of the adrenaline (and the probably gave him a cortisone short in the locker room), so even if he came back in the game, it'll definitely be hurting him badly for a while. He could have reduced minutes next game. And yea - Garnett fucking CRUSHED the PF match up.

I was actually thinking a bit differently - the Heat's easiest finals match up is gone. The Heat seemed to have the Lakers figured out this season. OKC and Dallas on the other hand were big problems for them this season.

Anonymous Mladen said...
I'm with Ragib - I think the Heat would have preferred the Lakers as a Finals match-up (especially after seeing the effort L.A. put up against Dallas...). However, even though I'm rooting for them, I must ask: why does everybody seem to be putting the Heat in the Finals already? Chicago can still prove to be a worthy foe, in my opinion.

Blogger Wormboy said...
@TeamD"WORMBOY aka Devin Harris aka Jameer Nelson ... hahaha"

Yeah, laugh it up, donkey. Do you know nothing about medicine? Did you watch the freakin video? Injuries are different than cocky player predictions. I've played through a soccer game with a cracked radius, and an ultimate tournament with a broken finger on my throwing hand. In each case, I was out for a couple weeks afterwards. I've also separated a shoulder, which knocks you out much longer. Heat of the moment (pardon the pun) and cortisone might have gotten Rondo back into the game, but I doubt we'll see him again this round (or at least, we shouldn't.) That was a serious injury with some inevitable ligament/tendon damage; you DON'T bend a joint that far out of it's normal path without stretching the shit out of some tendons/ligaments, maybe tearing one. Also, letting him back into the game was idiotic. If he hit the same joint again, he could have a career-ending injury. Likely? No. But that weakened joint could just bend right over and snap tendons with a bad luck fall.

I guess we'll see the degree to which Rondo can play one-handed. Me, I'm skeptical. But I will say this: the game was totally weird after that injury. It's like it sucked the life out of the Heat (well, and also fired up Rondo's teammates). But I also noticed that the Heat didn't go right at Rondo. It was almost as if they subconsciously conceded the game once he came back in.

All that aside, hat tip to Rondo. That was a heroic performance, and there's no way he was faking THAT, as people always said about Pierce, or Kobe.

Maybe he'll prove me wrong. Maybe he'll continue to play. But a) that's a sketchy career move, and b) he's not going to be nearly as good one-handed. The Celtics look creaky (despite this one throwback game that was half Heat letting up), Shaq may literally weigh 450 pounds, and they needed top-form Rondo to make it back to the Finals. Granted, an elbow is not a knee. He can run and jump with that joint disabled. But unless he's taking cortisone shots every game, he can't play. And with the cortisone shots, he can't play well. Celtics are done.

Blogger Wormboy said...
PS Great Shaq nickname: Shamroq

Anonymous Geert said...
I haven't seen the game or any highlights yet, but what exactley happened? Was it an accident, a flop with a lot of karmic retribution or did it look like Wade tried to trip him or something? If the last thing is right, is this something one can be suspended for?

Blogger Wormboy said...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfCMqT05No8

Meh, Wade was clearly dicking around with Rondo. But I think equally obviously Wade was NOT trying to cause an injury. That was just a freak fall. Foul called, no suspension is my take, and I'm a bona fide Heat hater. :)

Anonymous Nightdreamer said...
@Wormboy but the way Wade just walked away completely unconcerned with Rondo's health is way douchey. Stay classy, Wade! Just because you've been injured doesn't mean you can be apathetic when players from other team get hurt. At least Lebron had the decency to stand near the scene and check if everything is ok.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Must see Dirk-related video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU7-xOdEhzs

LeBron calls a reporter's retarded question retarded:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91JlOqzxp_w&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Westbrook had one of the craziest team killing shot jacking games in recent memory! Usually when it starts up with most players the coach takes a time out or the team leader tells them to stop or else. Not here though. It was allowed to happen for half of the 4th quarter and all of OT.

Let it be known that for one game a soon to be 35 year old KG was better than prime Wade, LeBron, and Bosh put together. Not even the 28/18...the help and recovery was insane. LeBron and Wade couldn't go anywhere. Although I dunno about LeBron. It seemed like he was waiting for Wade to bail him out again.

I wonder if these guys look at Boston's crisp offense and ask why their team can't be like that. They should.

Anonymous Karc said...
Lakers 10-10 on Sunday, most notable by blowout losses at home and the two losses already this postseason to the Hornets.

I'll put if this way, I give the Lakers more of a chance to win at Dallas than if the game was at Staples Church w/the white angel uniforms. And by a "chance" I mean "start the boat."

I'm still waiting for Mark Cuban to reveal that he started the Pau Gasol breakup rumor.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Phil Jackson, douchebag Dad machine:

"(Jackson's) five kids, however, aren’t taking any chances.

Said coach Phil: “They think they have to hustle in just in case this is the last game that I coach,” Jackson said. “That’s a drag that I don’t need to have happen, but they’re coming anyway because they’re insisting upon it.”"

So... your kids are flying across the country to show support and that's a "drag that you don't need to have happen."

Phil Jackson for Dad of the Year! This is right up there with Michael Jordan's HOF speech where he told his kids "I wouldn't wanna be you!"

Anonymous TeamD said...
@Wormboy - chill man, this is bawful remember? I watched his heroics last night, i was already a fan of rondo's game, but it was funny the way you said it and the way he came back. Rondo one handed is better than no rondo.

@Nightdreamer - The way pierce needs his wheelchair every playoff game i am not surprised Wade did not care, not that his attitude is not blamable but still, if guys were faking it less that might change.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
When players get tangled up they always, well more often than not, intentionally pull the other guy down with them. In this case, Wade swept Rondo's feet from under him. It was intentional. However, injuring him was not. Regardless, in those situations being a douche can have some serious repercussions.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
From ESPN Daily Dime :

Meanwhile, Chris Bosh was bashful. His coach, Erik Spoelstra, partially explained Bosh's puny six-point, five-rebound performance on a "slightly pinched nerve" in his neck after Bosh woke up with some discomfort. Bosh might've wished his coach hadn't mentioned it, claiming a crick in the neck on a night when Rondo called to mind Willis Reed wasn't going to help matters.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Yes, Wade walked away initially, but later he looked concerned and kept looking back at Rondo. A parsimonious explanation is that Dwee-ane didn't think the Rondo was badly hurt, or even thought that Rondo was selling it to try to get a tech or flagrant called. Only later did Dwee-ane realize that Rondo was truly screwed up.

Really, I can't figure any other take on it. I'm also trying to figure out why the Heat looked so out of it afterwards. It's almost as if Rondo's ugly injury, and then his astonishing return to the court, really shook them up. Odd.


Regardless, it was very dramatic. I was telling my wife that it is this kind of stuff that gets me to watch the playoffs. Real, unscripted human drama. Freakin Rondo. That was bad ass.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Pft. Rondo played with one hand. Big whoop. Joel Anthony scored 12 points with no hands.

But yeah, bummed out. The one day the bench plays well, Bosh soiled himself and LeBron was ice cold.

http://www.petitiononline.com/abcdwtf1/ Most of you hate the Heat, but this needs signing nonetheless.

Blogger Paul said...
Finally, the last Laker game of the season... Alas, I was expecting it to be in June not May.
I had planned a beautiful Mother's day with my family and away from the pains of watching this three year semi-dynasty come to an end.

But destiny and health are against me today. Food poisoning will keep me glued to the T.V. for the next few excruciating hours.
4 Weeks ago this team could beat the crap out of the "League of Justice", "X Men" and Avengers all together at the same time. Today, the best one can hope is that they don't lose by 20 or 30.

Finally Kobe's age is showing, Gasol's psyche is breaking down and the team entire's chemistry out the window. Not a good day for watching basketball.
Once the Laker reign is over, all I'll have left is a bunch of teams to root against for the next month.
Coming to think about it, the only team I got nothing against would be the Memphis Grizzlies. In my perfect world the Grizzlies take it all in June while delivering a big FUCK YOU to either Chicago, Miami or Boston.
Peace out and go Memphis!

Blogger winnetou said...
@Geert: Wade and Rondo got tangled up a bit when Rondo deflected the ball on D, then tried to brace his fall with his left arm- which bent in a painfully unnatural way. They then had to show the scene again in a few replays *shudders*.

Rondo's return deserves the work of a photoshop wizard. Being no good at that myself, I can only hope someone else will step up to the task: Please, pretty please with sugar on top, Mr.Wizard, do a Rondo/Monty Python and the holy grail mash-up. :)

Blogger Marek said...
@winnetou: as a huuuuge Monty Python/ basketball/ Celtic/ Rondo fun I DEMAND for RR to be from now on referenced to as "The Black Kinght" :)))

Anonymous Wave said...
HEY DAN!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE CELTICS NOW?!

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
Well, stephanie g speculated about the return of an '06 Kobe performance, and Mike Tirico just made it official, at the end of the 1st quarter:

Kobe: 6-8
The rest of the Lakers: 2-11

It's not just the return of '06 Kobe, it's the '06 Lakers!

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
I take that last comment back, the '06 Lakers were better than this.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Halftime, Mavs bench has 40 points. The whole Lakers team has 39. I'm so giddy with excitement. I will stare at Kobe's face the rest of the game, to capture the exact moment his will breaks. There is a God!

Anonymous Karc said...
At the half - Lakers 39, Mavs BENCH 40.

Anonymous Geert said...
WTF, the game is already started? It's 11PM over here and I was ready for an early night, and to check the score tomorrow morning but I might just wait it out just to see the result...

*frantically searches for an online stream*

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
That first five minutes of the second half was fascinating, the Mavs had their typical letdown, but the Lakers similarly didn't have anything left to get themselves back in the game, punctuated by the ultimate Ron Artest failure that Bawful's sure to relish. Seemed like it woke everyone up to the fact that Lakers couldn't win and so Jason Terry went back to drilling threes.

Blogger chris said...
did anyone witness chandler's great moment in inbounding history!??!?

Anonymous Karc said...
Microcosm of the Lakers season right here...

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/607650/artestdunk.gif

Just another blowout loss to end the Lakers season. (2008, 2006, 2004, 2003).

Anonymous Pistoletti said...
Say good-bye to Bynums trade value. It was nice knowing you.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Odom ejected. Bynum ejected. This is glorious.

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
Wow, you gotta give these Lakers credit for one thing, when they lose, they LOSE!

Anonymous Tom said...
I think Bynum just earned a spot on the Basketbawful header image.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Speaking of "stay classy," Odom and Bynum certainly ended their championship run with poise and dignity. You know how they say one's true character comes out under adversity? Yeah.

Blogger gregsgourmet said...
BRIAN CARDINAL! YES!

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
"Hi, I'm Lamar Odom of the Los Angeles Lakers, and I just want to say FUCK YOU to all the motherfuckers out there on Mother's day, amiright Drew?"

A proud day for Los Angeles. On the bright side, the fallout from Lamar's ejection will make for a great storyline on Khloe & Lamer.

Blogger JerryT said...
That's an automatic WOTN for Bynum isn't it? Basicly we can make it the WOT 2011 Playoffs.... damn, for that faul we can as well award him the Worst Of Phill's Coaching Career Prize, for being a Total Douchebag and a Sore Looser. Mr. Bynum - GTFO fishing.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
The Mothers Day Massacre. This was just surreal.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROB-7MC4qvE
Sums up the game pretty well, I think

Anonymous Karc said...
Lakers 86, Mavs Bench 86.

If I'm a Mavs fan, I'm a little worried about that 3-point shooting. Honestly, if the Lakers could actually hit some 3's, this is more than likely a tied series instead of a sweep. What will the Mavs do if Marc Gasol has to guard Dirk, JJ Barea runs into Kendrick Perkins, or Jason Terry goes cold?

Anonymous Jacob said...
In the spirit Bawful, I give kudos out to Shawn Marion who somehow ended up with a -1 +/- in a 36 point victory.

If Memphis hangs on against OKC, could they knock off the Mav's too?

Anonymous AK Dave said...
TAKE DAT WIT CHU, Phil Jackson!!

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
@Karc - Yeah, embarrassing blowouts were the odd choice of bread in this double championship sandwich, though it's somehow fitting of the Kobe era Jekyll & Hyde Lakers. One can really remember them however they like. Though, let's not forget how those other years did in fact end (2000, 2001, 2002, 2009, 2010).

@Wormboy - Never underestimate the forearm of a champion? I was hoping Pau would ask Dirk to pretend he hit him so that he could be a fake tough guy like his teammates and get ejected too. Similarly disappointed that Phil didn't try to dislocate Rick Carlisle's shoulder during the handshakes. Would have really out a bow on Mother's Day.

BTW, after THIS, does anyone think Phil Jackson DOESN'T come out of retirement for at least one more season somewhere? He basically has nothing to lose now and everything to gain now by doing that. It couldn't end worse than it just did for him.

Anonymous Geert said...
What made this Mavs win extra sweet for me was the fact that I discovered that it was broadcasted early so I could find an online stream (altough very lowdef and stutteringm but still) so I could watch it from the end of the third quarter.

Also, Brian Cardinal and Luke Walton are now trending topics on twitter.

I'm going to bed happy now.

Blogger Tristan said...
@Wormboy - About staying classy...touche ;) I only read about the horrific (for Lakers faithful) humiliation online (couldn't watch, at work), but...nice way to end the season. Unreal. Time to trade/waive everyone on that bench not named Kobe, Bynum (I'm disappointed), Barnes, Blake (needs another chance), Artest, Ebanks, and Trey Johnson. Take a reserve role for once in your Laker career, Derek Fisher, or retire. Get Deron Williams, if possible. Bring back Farmar, Vujacic, and Ariza. Yeah.

Congrats to the Mavs. Memphis, Dallas, or (gasp!) Boston all the way now.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Also, just like with MEM-SAS, not a SINGE ONE of the ESPN or Yahoo! 'experts' picked the Mavs to win this series, even in 7 games.

Someone at ESPN needs to hedge their bets; or at least play devil's advocate.

OTOH, Charles Barkley predicted a Mavs win. Turns out, Barkley actually knows something about basketball.

Blogger BJ said...
Lakers in Game 4 . . . it's a nice Dog From Duck Hunt moment.

Blogger David said...
Aaand the Lakers go down like the punks we knew they were. Reminds me of how the '91 Pistons went out.

Anonymous The Unknown Miner said...
Holy hell is Andy Bynum a chump. Glad to see LA lost with style and grace.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Can we at least come to an agreement that this year's playoff commercials are the worst of the last decade?

Blogger BadDave said...
For all of those folks that ever tried to complain that Bawful was too harsh on Durka Durka, THIS was the reason why. That potential for the Seven Foot Stuka to just be dominant was always there: he had great range, height, knowledge, and respectable post moves. He never showed the will.

He finally did. I almost hope he wins with the Mavs. Except that I'm still gunning for the Bulls ahead of them. And the Thunder. But hey.

By they way, does that elbow injury of Rondo's look horrifyingly familiar?

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Stay classy, Andrew Bynum. Lakers showing their "character". Suspend that motherfucker for at least 10 games.

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
DIRK AND THE MAVS SUCK!

Just kidding, I only wanted to know what it felt like to be so pathetically bitter toward a team that's clearly better than mine.

Speaking of which, lost in all the Phil Jackson and "Yankees Lose World Series" hoopla is that the Mavericks swept the Lakers and played about the best a team can in a closeout game. So, congrats to the Mavs and their fans, and good luck. I'll be rooting for you on account of Dirk and Kidd and because the Mavericks outclassed us literally and figuratively. Plus, if the Mavs win it all... hey, we only lost to the eventual champs, right!?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Re: Andrew Bynum:

Yes, he's had a past history of doing this before
Example 1
Example 2

Terrible, but I still think he's awesome for building his own computers.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Heh, when Odom was ejected, the announcer said "and Ron Artest comes in for Odom." I felt a chill go down my spine. Thankfully, the only result was a botched uncontested layup/dunk. It was Bynum who went douchy.

@Anacondahl: "Terrible, but I still think he's awesome for building his own computers."

Meh, doesn't that just mean that unlike most NBA players, he can count to twenty without taking off his shoes? Nah, you're right. That is kinda cool.



PS I love how intense Noah is. This is a guy who would suck if he didn't care so much and try so hard.

Oh, and I really liked Rose's MVP acceptance speech. Real, heartfelt, no ego. Imagine how other guys do it, and then look at Rose. Granted, I don't think he's the best in the league, but it was a nice moment for those of us, like me, who are a bit maudlin.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Josh Smith's insistence on and the crowd's reactions to his jumpers has been a fascinating psychological study. Skinner is rolling over in his grave.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Stephanie G - was just talking about this with my cousin. The talking basketball thing is lame.

Blogger Ragib said...
I almost cried...I hate the Lakers but Phil Jackson deserved better than this... That was no way to send off such a great coach.

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
Hawks are earning this one, but my God, that retroactive non-call/jump ball on the clear foul of D. Rose by Bennett Salvatore... it's like on the days the Mavs advance he wants to remind everyone he's still on top of the bawful officiating world.

Blogger Interstate08 said...
Well, at least the Lakers lost with class...

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Derrick Rose's statline is making Iverson blush

Anonymous Batmanu said...
So... is that possibly TWO eras that ended in these playoffs (Spurs, Lakers)?

Regarding Bynum's bitchassness - I guess just because he's big he thinks it's okay to do that whenever he gets frustrated? You can tak hard fouls and still go for the ball.

Also, it seems ironic to me that he could have blocked all three of those shots.

Regarding Pau - So he increases his marshmallowy goodness when he's all broken up? Those Gasolt/Boshtrich s'mores are looking better and better...

And Rondo - that was crazy, man. It LOOKED kinda like Livingston's injury, but it didn't bend as far and (as someone who has had microfracture on each knee) to me, leg injuries are generally worse than arm injuries. Not to say they're not bad. Because they are.

It's entirely possible for him to play in Game 4 since there was no ligament damage, but it will be very painful.

Last thing - is this the most commented on post in Bawful history? Over 120 comments.

Blogger KHayes666 said...
Not to kick a man when he's down.....but.....

A few months ago Kazam said he was "giddy" when the Celtics traded Perkins because in his mind their probable Finals opponent just torpedoed the team. Guess it really didn't matter after all.

The Celtics may not beat the Heat with virtually everyone that matters injured (Pierce, Rondo, Shaq) or old (Allen, Garnett, JO) but they at least showed a little bit of heart against adversity.

The Lakers didn't. Goodbye Phil Jackson and his championship piggybacking and goodbye Ron Artest.

Blogger Jason D said...
I can't even begin to describe how disgusted I am with the Lakers effort, or lack thereof. For fuck's sake, what defending champion plays so abysmally? Did they think they could cruise until game 7 of the finals, then decide to turn it on? Nothing pisses me off more as a Lakers fan than knowing that my team could have won, but could have cared less to do so.

Sigh, we had a great run. 3 final and 2 championships is nothing to sob over. I just hope that the FO retools this team for next season, if there is a next season.

Blogger TeamD said...
wow 120 comments and counting.

Odom and Bynum - retarded douches
Pierce - where the fuck is my wheelchair?!
Rondo - Hero
MAvs - hat off.
Dirk - MVP
Miami - 7 rings! not even cheat fans believe it.

Blogger Jason D said...
Now that the Lakers are out, the two teams I'd love to see in the Finals are Memphis and Atlanta, just because nobody would've seen that coming.

How awesome would it be if the Grizzlies won the championship this year? Sounds unreasonable, but talk about what could be one of the greatest underdog sports teams ever.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
there is nothing left to stop it... the grizzlies-hawks finals are upon us!!!

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
Towering Inferno was on Encore, it only served to remind me of the Lakers' season defining flameout today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRGCgA0UWKY#t=2m25s

That's pretty much what happened.

Kobe: "Get OFF!! EEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!"

Anonymous bing said...
Not that even a die hard fan would have bet on them, but what sort of money could a Griz supporter make had they bet on them at the start of the playoffs?

Anonymous kobefearslebron said...
hey bawful,

here's a pic of kobe telling all of us that he's got 5 rings and also a facepalm on a sad bench photo!

http://d.yimg.com/a/p/sp/ap/f6/fullj.acee2a5c9efcbb9f165a90f3770fa21c/ap-201105081820660334231.jpg

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dirty quote machine alert - dirk says he and jet "ride each other all the time"

http://m.espn.go.com/nba/story?storyId=6510363&hcId=5657762&topId=null

Anonymous Patman said...
Bad Dave: "For all of those folks that ever tried to complain that Bawful was too harsh on Durka Durka, THIS was the reason why. That potential for the Seven Foot Stuka to just be dominant was always there: he had great range, height, knowledge, and respectable post moves. He never showed the will."

Please can we stop that misconception already? Dirk nearly always comes to play in big Games. Just look at his elimination Game Stats and his Game 7 Stats, also you can look at his 4th Quarter Scoring and what he's done on International tourney's.
I really hope the guy gets a title as the alpha dog. Man i hated him early in his career (The hype in the German media was to much), but his chocker label is just bullshit, losing or winning is a team thing...

Blogger TeamD said...
@Jason_D - trust me if the Lakers could they would have win it, but they didn't, so they couldn't. It's only logical.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
KHayes666, do you mean Wild Yams?

Anonymous Evan Eschmeyer said...
The best part of the Mavs game was that they didn't want to beat the Lakers, they wanted to destroy them. Leaving Dirk in at the start of the fourth despite a 25-point lead, still executing plays when the game was already won. That's how you close out a game. Just great for all non-lakers fans.

Also loved how Phil had his "Hey, I don't even care anymore"-smirk going for the complete fourth quarter.

Blogger Dunpizzle said...
Did you see Jason Terry's halftime interview. Unintentional comment of all time - "All series long we've been able to penetrate their bigs, get deep, suck the D in...."

Blogger Wormboy said...
I'm with Patman. Dirk has almost always come up big. I'd bet if you analyzed his career clutch time performances, he blows Kobe away. In many ways, Dirk is my ideal offensive player: he takes very few bad shots, and thus almost never hurts his team. Derrick Rose, take note.

Speaking of which, anybody catch the extended Barkley-Webber argument about whether it was reasonable for Derrick Rose to take 32 shots? Iverson blushing indeed (and for the record, Iverson NEVER blushed about how many shots he took). Seems like that is the fundamental NBA debate, at least offensively. Some just admire a large point total, other prefer efficient scoring. But Kenny has a point: that volume is OK if Rose is shooting well. But some of his shots were Kobe-esque. The Bulls do need some other offense. Thibs is great, but the "hand to Rose" approach reeks of Mike Brown and the Cavs. The Bulls are doing lots more cutting than the Cavs did, but sometimes the ball movement dies with Rose. Not sure we can blame him, since Booz is sucking so bad.

Speaking of which: go here and see how Boozer's numbers drop after each new contract. What a bum!

http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/b/boozeca01.html

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I wonder if Bynum hasn't been goaded into these horrible fouls by certain senior team-mates calling him soft?

Blogger gregsgourmet said...
Can we call them the Loss Angeles Fakers just for today?

Anonymous Aaron said...
Honestly, this is not as bad as the Heat getting swept in 2007 right after they won in the previous year. The lakers were back-to-back-to-back finalist with an aging team. Furthermore, you can tell from Phil's press conference that he was glad it was over. So yeah...go enjoy your retirement, sir. It's just era-ending that we lose 3 great coaches this year - Sloan, Adelman, and Jackson. When will Pop retire???

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I don't care. DRose is sooo sexy, he can take as many shots as he wants. 8-27, because I only care about marketing and not basketball, I don't care. :)

Anonymous Batmanu said...
Pop retires when Timmy retires. He's been saying it for years.

Anonymous lechuck said...
it's official now: bynum is the dirtiest laker. artest's clothesline was foolish, but i dont think it was dirty. judging by bynum's reaction, you know that he intended to do that to barea. his dirty push on beasley mid-air was also disgusting. i wonder why he only picked the smaller guys... maybe he was the one who should be labeled "soft" after all..

Blogger KHayes666 said...
Yes I did mean Wild Yams. I didn't realize my mistake until after I posted my comment, by then it was too late.

My bad Kazam.

As for tonight's game, if the Heat don't win they're in big trouble. The Celtics are leaning on the one armed Rajon Rondo, the one legged Shaq, the gimpy knees of Jermaine O'Neal, a one foot Paul Pierce and the creaky bones of Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. They're "too hurt, too old, not good enough" but a win tonight will put endless pressure on Miami.

After all, how could Miami lose to a team that's too old, slow and injured? If they go back to Miami tied they could very well crumble. After all, Miami usually chokes when the games are close.

Blogger Victor said...
I hope someone goes Tonya Harding on Bynum's knee.

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