Snoop gotta avoid looking directly at the suck.

The Los Angeles Los Lakers: Hey guys, the Miami Heat have won a basketball game against the World Champion Los Angeles Lakers.

















The Nueva York Knickerbockers: With 52 points and three players in double figures at the half, the-...

...

...what? Is there any more I can add about a game between two good teams I highly dislike (for different reasons, obviously) that will be reported on ad nauseum even moreso than usual today? Can't a man intentionally choose to take a fantastic nap and not DVR said game and happen to wake up in time for the next game and just leave a big blank space instead? I can't even throw in a sarcastic "Lakers are struggling the Heat are BACK AND SURGING" joke because people will actually be supporting this angle. In expectation of overly-critical Lakers fans, and bandwagon Heat fans trying to be cute and talking about good basket game wins, I choose to not contribute.

OTOH, maybe we're saved from the worst...

Sorry, I don't have credits for whoever made this! But you are awesome.

(Note: The graph was created prior to that barftastic Emperor Riley article after the Portland loss.)

OTOOH, maybe the worst is yet to come...

Doesn't it start to hurt? After all that masturbation?

Video evidence of Kobe Doin' Work After Work. Okay, enough of that. There is this one other thing...

Chris Bosh, quote machine (as seen first on TNT's Halftime Report): "It was just a relief really,... just to come out on top, you know,... it's the best thing to do sometimes, it's just, y'know, get a little man hug, and keep going." *sex offender grin*

Hey guys, ready for our post-win manhug?

Back to our regularly scheduled Basketbawful...

The Nueva York Knickerbockers, take 2: They held the Mavs to only two players in double figures at the half, which is nice I guess (Terry with 14, Marion with 12). But a team scoring 72 by the half? Sounds like someone was playing a D'Antoni team!

[[D'Antoni not amused stock photo]]

Sure the Knicks made a little run to keep it within, uh, 15, but when all you get is 2 points from your starting Center (Jared Jeffries? That's our D'Antoni!), and 2 points from your bench (minus 6th man Shawne Williams, in a combined 46:20 playing time), losses like this are just gonna happen.

Said poor Marv Albert in desperation: "Fans, we've got a game! This is the closest it's been in the 2nd half!" with 3:46 left in the 4th and the Knicks still down 115-104, as the game inched closer to it's 127-109 conclusion with nearly every courtside seat empty.

And Corey Brewer had his say in something that I guess counts as a revenge game, having only been a Knick for a few hours, but alas, may his 7 points on 3-4 shooting with 4 REB, 4 AST, 2 STL, 1 TOV, and 5 PFs in just 16:50 minutes performance be forever burned into New York history.

I play basket game for New York

Meanwhile, the Mavs are now in a 20-3 stretch, with all 3 losses by only a single point.

Amar''''''e Stoudemire and Bennett Salvatore: But let's rewind to the 2nd quarter, where STAT picked up his 16th technical of the year on a classic NBA 2010-11 Respect The Game call. I mean, he wasn't moving towards the official, and his hands weren't even above his shoulders, let alone his head!!

I'm still torn between being happy that whining is being punished, and giving official more control of the games, and the widening gap between superstar treatment and the middle class NBA player, and the fact that we have to look for stupid shit as I demonstrated in jest in the prior sentence.

Meanwhile, Salvatore is still referee filth, nothing new to see here.


Le Basket Game!

The Phoenix Heart Attack Suns: To be fair, this atleast was a different heart attack than what's been happening lately skating by with all these close wins. Just horrible stretches of nothing but turnovers, topped off by this lovely sequence to end the half:

0:06 55-49 Hakim Warrick bad pass (Nene Hilario steals)
0:04 57-49 Hakim Warrick bad pass (Ty Lawson steals)
0:01 59-49 Grant Hill bad pass

And even though it seemed like both teams needed MORE TURNOVERS FOR THE TURNOVER GODS, games with each team recording 19+ TOVs are surprisingly common, having already happened in 41 times this season.

So the Suns became yet another casualty to Denver's wounded tiger run. As this point late in the season, looks like this will be enough to ensure Denver's playoff spot, while Portland's resuccitation, Memphis's solid play with or without Gay, and New Orleans's sqeezing every last Win Share out of Chris Paul combine to make Phoenix the 9th wheel. With our potential draft pick being estimated in the Jimmer Fredette range, and a potential lockout to strip us from Nash's potential last season in the valley, things are not looking hopeful for the Suns faithful.

Not good at all. I tried telling myself at the beginning of this season to not put hope in this team. Somehow I got suckered in again through some cognitive dissonance from the Hedo trade, to Gortat finding statistical manna playing with Nash. Stuck in the dreaded treadmill of mediocrity, as put by Mark Cuban recently at the Sloan Conference.

I don't know why I chose tonight to decide to believe this, after all the other rants I've incoherently put together. I like to believe in miracles, as something that occurs outside of ones picture of reality. Reasonable miracles really, such as a Tim Duncan 3 pointer, or Tim Donaghy.

But at some point, things hit a limit of reasonability at a different point for any given individual. Obviously all 29 other NBA teams could be replaced by D-Leaguers and Andrea Bargnani's, and hope would be restored. But after tonight's game, I just feel enough of the picture is shown, that there's no reason to hope anymore. I can't even bring myself to see the playoffs percentage countdown from 30% to 0%, as I did back in 2009. Sure I'll continue to read what they say on Twitter, watch Gortat highlights on YouTube, and be amazed at the agelessness of Hill and Nash. But that upper limit, upper potential, no longer.

Maybe this happens to all fans, or not at all. Maybe it just happens really quick and early. Maybe it occurs with a big sudden event, such as the incidents that have occurred to the Jazz who I'd model as the situation most similar. Maybe there's something about enjoying stories of justice and revenge that's unhealthy at the sports level, maybe not. I wish I could say I'd prefer it any of those ways, but I don't know. All I know is that one time is absolutely worth it.

In a day which I'm sure will be dominated by Lakers and Miami fans looking for sympathies, may atleast one voice for true lost hope in the Suns be spoken. And we can all continue to ignore the Spurs and the Mavericks.


-AnacondaHL

chris's Lacktion Report: Always providing hope, for the best of the worst.

Lakers-Heat: Erick Dampier divvied out three boards in 18:37, but also had a brick, foul, and three turnovers for a 4:3 Voskuhl. Joel Anthony countered a singular rebound in 4:52 with two fouls for a 2:1 ratio of his own.

Knicks-Mavs: Jared Jeffries. Voskuhl. Duh. 7:6 in 23:31 of starting-big-man time, countering four boards, an assist, and field goal with four fouls and three turnovers.

Ronny Turiaf blew a block in 11:51 with 3 fouls for a 3:0 Voskuhl.

For Dallas, Ian Mahinmi can now buy as many Dairy Queen Blizzards as he wants from Mark Cuban after gathering up a 1.6 trillion (1:35).

Labels: I freaking hate the Lakers, Miami Heat, New York Knicks, Phoenix Suns, Worst of the Night