After the grand success of this year's Birdmas LarryLand video, many of you might be wondering "How did Evil Ted spend the most sacred of Basketball-related holidays, Birdmas?" Or maybe none of you are wondering that. Either way, I'm going to report on it.

I spent Birdmas this year in Cleveland, partially in an attempt to spread Birdmas cheer to a town that needed it so desperately A.L. (after LeBron), and partly because my wife's side of the family lives there.

Birdmas tradition states that the most fervent of Larry Bird supporters (that, of course, was me) dress up as Larry Legend and sit and the head of the table for the Birdmas Eve meal. Before eating, it is also tradition for Larry Legend to recite The Night Before Birdmas, which I did in my best dramatic timbre.

Birdmas Dinner

My in-laws patiently tolerated the lengthy poem as the Birdmas turkey got cold, but did look a little perturbed when I tossed the powdered sugar into the air afterward like LeBron James. Oh well. Finally it was time to carve the Birdmas Bird.

Cutting the Birdmas Bird
Look at the majestic combination of joy and
looks on the children's faces.

Now don't go thinking wrote this post just because I had some doofy pictures I took at Thanksgiving and forgot to put them in the montage at the end of the video. That totally didn't happen. And don't think my wife's family got mad because I held up Thanksgiving dinner for ten minutes and then didn't use the pictures.
This has nothing to do with that.

Anyway, I might as well take this opportunity to give you a bonus treat - the bloopers and deleted scenes from LarryLand. Expect to laugh, cry, and say things like "Yeah, I can see why that segment didn't make the cut." Enjoy! -ET

And one final bit of business: A picture of Larry Liberty was requested for PC wallpaper. Here it is. The only "watermark" is a tiny Evil Ted standing in the crown. Please don't erase me!

Larry Liberty

Oh, and it was also pointed out to me that I missed the detail of wearing long tube socks in my Michael Cooper tornado segment. Agreed, I missed it, and will go to my grave wishing I'd thought of it.

Or I won't care at of the two.

However, as far as player costumes go, there is one detail nobody has thus far noticed.
Here is your challenge should you accept it: find the extremely minute detail in Basketbawful's Laimbeer costume. Hint: You can see it briefly in the terrace scene. Good luck!

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Anonymous Czernobog said...
Love the "Why did she have to marry a retard" look on mom-in-law's face.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Is it the Under Armor shorts?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Your wife's family is pretty awesome for going along with that.

Anonymous m said...
!!!!!!!!!! :-/

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This is Basketball Hall of Fame stuff. Seriously, do they let in video's?

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Didn't really notice that "Why'd she marry a retard" look, but thanks for pointing it other amusing bit was that she had seen me countless times on summer vacations in my swimsuit, but only in the context of a holiday dinner in her home did she seem to notice how grotesquely hairy I am. And it disgusted her. Funny.

Under Armour shorts? Really? Nope. Do I need to give another hint?

Blogger Dan B. said...
Your wife's family is pretty awesome for going along with that.

They obviously know and see something epic in the making and understand they must do their part. It's the power of Birdmas!

But seriously, can't tell you how entertaining these two Birdmas posts have been. Good job, Evil Ted, Bawful, Evil Ted's Disgusted Wife, and Evil Ted's Confused Family.

Blogger Rogue said...
I geuss Monty(Python)Willams was right after all. The hornets really are fool's gold.

Blogger stephanie g said...
All of this is incredible. I didn't realize the Bird psychosis when this deep. My condolences to your friends and family. I wonder what Bird would say if you showed him all of this. Hey, that could be a new phrase -- WWBD, What Would Bird Do? Pull up three or over the shoulder pass, I guess.

Have you tried asking your wife for Bird roleplaying yet? Or is that for Valentines?

Anonymous Cetti said...
there you go:

Blogger Dan B. said...
Have you tried asking your wife for Bird roleplaying yet? Or is that for Valentines?

Now that's funny.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Words can't describe how awesome this is. You are a ridiculous human being, and I love you for it!

Anonymous kazam92 said...
This entire premise was so absurd. Well done.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Hopefully Larry would just smile and enjoy it, and not file a cease and desist order or something...

No Larry Bird role playing yet, but I think you've just given me an idea of how to celebrate next year's Birdmas...

Dan B / Wormboy, glad you enjoyed my stuff as much I enjoyed creating it. All I ask is that you pass along the glory or Birdmas to the less fortunate.

kazam - absurd? you think? I was going for existential and morose. After I look those words up, I'm going to say - yeah, I was going for absurd. That was the only way to make it work.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
And since nobody clearly cares, the Laimbeer custume detail? The tiny shock of white hair on the back of the otherwise black do he was sporting in '86.

Blogger Fishy said...
They'd have to redo all the hats... that should've made the final cut! Good stuff, good stuff (sometimes it's better to say it twice)

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Not a soul would've caught that. Truth be told, many of us are 18-25 I'd assume so Laimbeer's playing career was largely unseen by people like me. I'm only familiar with his reputation as a dirty player, how he coached a WNBA team, and that his pistons teams are on 2k11

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