Nets Bobcats Basketball
"HOT DAMN! IT'S ALMOST BIRDMAS TIME."

Really pressed for time today, sorry guys. Gotta keep it short.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
APTOPIX Thunder Raptors Basketball
Caption This!
What the hell is going on with Jose Calderon?


Knicks Hornets Basketball
I'd have a headache too if I lost to the Knicks


Nationally Televised Games:
Hawks at Magic, NBA TV, 7pm: Yes, the Magic just lost to the Bucks. But thanks to a flu bug, they only had eight active players available for that game. Howard, Redick, and Pietrus are expected to play tonight. On the other hand, the Hawks are missing Joe Johnson who will be just a $123.7 million benchwarmer for the next four to six weeks. Advantage: Orlando.

All the Other Games:
Craptors at Pacers, 7pm: Coach Jim O'Brien on the Pacers' attitude after dropping back to the .500 mark: "We're not a happy group right now, nor should we be." Jeez. It's not that bad, Emo Pacers. No need to start wearing skinny jeans with studded belts, getting bad haircuts, and listening to The Smiths and The Cure.

Timberwolves at Knicks, 7:30pm: As has been noted by some of you recently, the Bricks are perhaps closer to being just the Knicks at the moment. Amar''''e is playing like he actually cares (what a novel concept!) trying to impress potential future teammates while reaffirming his alpha dog status as The Man. I am frightened and confused by this reality. How long until Zeke swoops in and mucks things up again?

Thunder at Bulls, 8pm: When I stepped outside today into sub-20 degree weather to scrape ice and snow off my car, I started to think "well, it could be worse. I could live in a place as boring as Oklahoma." But then I remembered they have Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook. I have... no NBA team. Damn it all.

Heat at Bucks, 8pm: Even with the Bucks beating a severely depleted Magic team to snap their streak of failure, their shooting is still as cold as the ice I just mentioned that's all over my car.

Grizzlies at Jazz, 9pm: You know, I'd honestly rather go prepare for Birdmas by watching some Larry Bird highlights on Youtube than care about this game. Can you blame me?

Kings at Clippers, 10:30pm: And we end the night with ineptitude in basketball form.

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19 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
In the spirit of the season, Calderon's caption:
The excitement of actually providing Mr Hanky to the masses this early seems to be more than Jose can bear...

Blogger BJ said...
(clicks the link)

Nice compliation, some nifty HOW THE HELL DID HE DO THAT?!?!?!?

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Yeah, so if Kevin Love got to play the Knicks every game, he would unquestionably be considered the greatest player in the history of basketball, or something.

In other news, the Craptors suck balls. Oh wait, we already knew that. I am going to choose to believe that this part of a master plan to draft Andrew Wiggins in three years.

Blogger Solieyu said...
Dan B., the only way your car is this cold is if it was parked on a ferry named Titanic. The Deer shot 35% for the game, and a particularly woeful 24% in the deciding 4th quarter. The Heat played ugly, the Bucks just played uglier. That the Heat had to be bailed out by a perfect shooting night (6/6 FG, 4/4 Freebies, 2/2 from beyond the arc) from Carlos Arroyo is kind of pathetic.

Wade was 9/20 with 6 turnovers, James shot only 4 free throws, and Bosh did not go to the line a single time. Where'd that aggressiveness go? Joel Anthony had an assist to go with on brick, a turn over, and three fouls in his 7 minutes of lacktion. :O

Blogger Solieyu said...
Wait wait. Andrew Wiggins? Also known as Ender Wiggins the Xenocide, Chris? From Ender's Game? That is diabolical.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Fuck Omri Casspi. Thanks to that buttmonkey all of the dozen or so NBA games being televised in Israel are Pauper games. One of which happens to be tonight's crapfest. In which he probably won't even be playing.

Blogger LotharBot said...
ESPN wishes to let us know that the Heat are "on a roll", with a 5-game win streak over the Wiz (6-13), Pistons (7-14), Cavs (7-13), Hawks (14-8), and Bucks (7-13). This is clearly the most important story in the entire NBA at the moment.

Everybody, the Heat are on a roll! They've beaten a decent-quality opponent recently! They haven't lost to any .350 or worse teams in their last 5! Chris Bosh has 2 double-doubles and a further 3 single-doubles in that stretch! Their starting PG has notched 13 assists over that stretch, and their starting C pulled down 18 boards (totals, not per-game.) Wow, let's hear it for the Heat!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Caption:

You get to drink from the firehose!

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Love's big game in NYK has his season averages up to 20/15. That Mayo trade is looking pretty damn smart right about now...

But as much as I want this guy to do well, my prediction is a debilitating/career-endangering injury before the all-star break. Why? because a) he's a big man and shit happens, b) he's fat, and when you're fat, your knees and ankles have to deal with more stress than un-fat people, and c) he's playing over 40min/game. That's too many minutes. Coach 'Rambo knows that. :)

Great quote from Amar'e! - “This was the plan,” he said. “The plan was to have success.”

Genius.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"I'll take the box. The box!"

Gotta love UHF

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Can anyone confirm that Paul Westphal made the following remark: "our bench was really good and it was particularly juiced up by Pooh"?

Because if so, epic quote machine.

Anonymous Stockton said...
The Heat are back, baby!!!!!!!
THEY'RE ON A ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well... I expect in today's WoTN a sincere apology to...




... ISIAH THOMAS!!

His plan of stacking assets and turning NY appealing to FA's worked out after all. NY is on a winning streak, will make the playoffs, and are contenders now. Part of Isiah's plan was for opponents to THINK the Knicks were doomed, and now, as he predicted, it's the rebirth of a jugernaut team, but people here were just too stupid to see it!!
APOLOGISE!!!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
i went to school with the wiggin's brothers.... the younger they get, the better they are at basketball. i didnt realize andrew was that old yet.

Anonymous Stockton said...
Are the Bullies for real??

Rose is a nice PG, Loozer has a perfect sidekick in Noah, who has all the skills Loozer lacks (heart, balls, defense), plus Korver, Deng, Gibson... in paper they look deeper than, let's say, the 3 amigos team, younger and faster than the Celtics, and with interior firepower to pass the Magic...

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
I just went to ESPN's NBA page. And threw up in my mouth.

"How You Like Us Now?"

No one likes you now, except for ESPN. No one likes egomaniacs and self-promoters. Stop fellating yourselves with reckless abandon for a change, perhaps.

As noted, you beat up on a bunch of shitty teams. Whoopee. My beloved Dinos can do that for stretches too, and I don't suffer under the delusion that makes them "good".

Anonymous Czernobog said...
I do think the Bulls are for real, in the sense that they might make it to the ECF, maybe even the finals. I don't see anyone in the east other than the Celts with with a chance at the title this year though.

Blogger João Clemente said...
Jeez, have you seen that Heat Index post about the Heat's centers? It couldn't get bawfuler than this:

I believe this is the first ever three-player/three-game continuous Voskuhl!

From espn.com:

"Center of attrition
The Heat don’t expect the world from the center position but the dearth of production as of late is mind-boggling. Up until Erick Dampier’s put-back with 41 seconds left in Monday night’s game, the Heat centers had failed to score a point dating all the way back to last Thursday’s game in Cleveland when Joel Anthony hit an early fourth quarter jumper.

All in all, it was 106 scoreless minutes from the five spot.

Since that Anthony jumper in Cleveland, Miami centers Anthony, Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Erick Dampier put together what can only be assumed as one of the saddest collections of stat lines in NBA history. Combined, the three missed 10 of their 11 field goal attempts, recorded more personal fouls (18) than rebounds (17), and failed to reach the free throw line in 107 minutes of action.

It’s hard to pinpoint which one of those stats is the most worrisome. But as staggering as the lack of scoring punch may be, it’s the rebounding that should cause the greatest concern. Dampier was brought in to help fill the void after Udonis Haslem got injured but it’s clear that at 35 years old, nailing his feet to the floor wouldn’t make a difference. He collected a respectable five rebounds in 24 minutes but he’s nowhere near the rebounding presence he was in Dallas. He and Ilgauskas have zero springs left but they’ll continue playing the 5 spot as long as they have their stilts."

Anonymous laddder said...
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/miamiheat/news/story?id=5892847

The header: LeBron James relates to Brett Favre

"Brett [had] great years here in Green Bay, and any time a great competitor like that leaves, no one wants to see that, but they've done a great job of regrouping with Aaron Rodgers and I believe that Cleveland will do the same,"

LOL Favre loved the packers and vice versa. Lebron could care less about the Cavs. Favre was forced out while James bounced. It's hard to relate the two, unless James meant he was forced out because he was provided with a shitty team..

Anonymous AK Dave said...
@laddder:

Favre also won a super bowl...

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