"Why you keep calling me 'Shaggy from Scooby-Doo'? What is a Scooby-Doo?"

The New York Knicks: Damn. Even their building fails. Oh well. It probably saved the Knicks from what would have been another homecourt ass-kicking by the Magic. So they have that going for them, which is nice.

The problem was that "debris fell into the arena during overnight cleaning of asbestos-related materials." New York's Department of Environmental Protection determined that no asbestos were released, but better safe than sorry, right?

Get this, though: MSG is in the early stages of a renovation that's expected to cost between $775 and $850 million. Spider-Man's balls! For almost a billion dollars, couldn't they just tear the place down and build an exact replica? Like, twice?!

The Philadelphia 76ers: Okay...John f**king Wall. Wow. His line against the Sixers: 29 points (9-for-16 from the field, 11-for-14 from the line), 13 assists, 9 steals (plus 8 turnovers and 5 fouls). The dude can play. And dance:

Believe it or not, Philly actually had a three-point lead at the end of this one. Sadly, playing 3.1 seconds of defense was too much for the Sixers, who got a bomb dropped on them by Cartier Martin. Check out the fall-away D:

Obviously, the Wizards Generals went on to win in overtime. Tough loss for the Deep Sixers. They shot 55 percent from the field, got 50 points in the paint and fast breaked their way to another 17 points. Unfortunately, they gave up 34 points of 23 turnovers. And fell to 0-4 in the Doug Collins era.

In possibly related news, Washington was awarded 43 free throws.

Doug Collins, coach of the year candidate: "It seems like when you are trying to win that first game, it just seems like it's whew, I don't know what to say. Our guys fought so hard. You don't know how heartbreaking it is for me to walk into that locker room and tell these guys, 'You're playing hard, you're playing hard,' but you have to break bad habits. Losing teams have bad habits. They're not broken overnight."

Doug Collins, man love machine: "I texted Michael Jordan and said, 'I'm walking around the city and it brings back a lot of memories of being here with you.'"

The Cleveland Cavaliers: Check out this nonsense from the AP recap:

There's still one perfect team in the Eastern Conference.

It's from the deep south, loaded with young, improving stars and it just might be good enough to make a run at an NBA title.

Watch out, Miami.

The Atlanta Hawks could be gaining on you.
That's a joke...right?

Often overlooked in the increasingly tough and getting-better-every-year East, the Hawks are showing early signs they may be able to stay with the Heat, Celtics, Magic and Bulls this season. With a group that has grown together in recent years, Atlanta could be a dark horse in a crowded field.

"We're flying under the radar," Williams said. "I don't think anyone's upset about it. We know what we're capable of doing. We have confidence in ourselves. We have to show it every night."
Nope. I guess the AP writer was being serious.

Reality check: The Dirty Birds have wins over the Grizzlies (2-2), Sixers (0-4), Wizards Generals (1-2) and Cavaliers (1-3). Mind you, they only beat Philly by three and Washington by four. And the Generals' have a one-point overtime win against...the Sixers. Anyway, I'm not sure pimp-slapping crap teams really makes the Hawks an elite team any more than dunking over a 10-year-old on a seven-foot rim makes me an elite pickup player. But I did make that kid eat the ball. Ah...good times.

Atlanta's next two games are against the Pistons (0-4) and Timberwolves (1-3), so I fully expect the Hawks to reach 6-0. All of which means this "Watch out, Miami" crap will continue for at least two more games.

Oh, I'm sorry, what about the Cavaliers? They suck. Moving on.

The Detroit Pistons: What can I say? The Pistons got roughed up at home by the Celtics last night. The final score was 109-86, but it might as well been 1,085,110 to "Help, help, oh God, help." Detroit's season is only four games long and they've already had all the fight knocked out of them. This fact was best symbolized by Rajon Rondo's buzzer-beating three-pointer against them.

Read those words again: "Rajon Rondo's buzzer-beating three-pointer against them."

Destination: Doom indeed.

The Pistons are off to their first 0-4 start since November 1999. But hey, Detroit's 1999-00 squad won 42 games and made the playoffs. So there's hope! But no hope with dope. Write that down.

Said Tayshaun Prince: "It starts with us in this locker room but it goes to everybody else as well. When you're 0-4, you don't just look at the team, you've got to look at everybody as a whole."

Tracy McGrady Watch: The line: 8 minutes, 0-for-1, zero points, zero rebounds, 1 assist and a plus-minus score of -9.

The thing is, I can't even give Knee-Mac the Worst Player of the Night award because, frankly, this is pretty much what I expected out of him.

Note this recent quote: "It's not like I'm 41 or even 35. I just turned 31. No one has come down and stolen away my talent -- I still have a lot in the tank."

Shaq: He lasted exactly three games before missing one (at least) with an injury. Well, that didn't take long.

Update! Kevin Garnett: Basketbawful reader Paul brought this to my attention:

The Boston Celtics pounded the Detroit Pistons on Tuesday, and messages sent from Charlie Villanueva's Twitter account indicate Kevin Garnett may have made it personal.

One of the tweets says: "KG called me a cancer patient, I'm pissed because, u know how many people died from cancer, and he's tossing it like it's a joke."

Garnett is known for his trash talking on the court. Villanueva suffers from alopecia universalis, a medical condition that results in hair loss. The Pistons forward does not have hair on his head.

Another tweet from Villanueva's account says that Garnett's alleged comments hit home.

"I wouldn't even trip about that, but a cancer patient, I know way 2 many people who passed away from it, and I have a special place 4 those," the message reads.

Garnett scored 22 points and had six rebounds in the Celtics' 109-86 victory. Villanueva had 17 points and seven rebounds off the bench for the winless Pistons. But Villanueva, if he indeed sent the messages from his account, would like to take the battle off the court.

"KG talks alot of crap, he's prob never been in a fight, I would love to get in a ring with him, I will expose him," another tweet on the Villanueva account reads.
Yep. It's all there in Chucky V's Twitter account. Look, Charlie. We all get that Kevin Garnett is a dick. Nobody's denying that. But I'm thinking your team is in bad enough shape right now without you starting a school yard brawl with KG. And anyway, haven't you even thought about penciling in some eyebrows? I mean, it couldn't hurt.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: It's hard to bust on Minny too hard because the Heat are on a roll. Since opening the season with a loss to the Celtics, Miami has won four straight be an average of 22.8 PPG. And while it's easy to scoff at big wins over the Nyets and T-Wolves, the Heat curb-stomped the Magic too.

As much as people (like me) may hate to admit it, the Heat are starting to have that "best case scenario" look. Dwyane Wade scored a game-best 26 points (12-for-17) in only 24 minutes. LeBron, playing point forward, finished with 20 points (7-for-12) and a game-high 12 assists. James Jones (17 points, 5-for-9 from downtown) and Eddie House (15 points, 4-for-4 on threes) were on fire from the outside. And Udonis Haslem had a double-double (11 points, 10 boards) off the bench.

The only downsides for Miami have been the so-so play of Chris Bosh (13 points, 4-for-12, 6 rebounds) and a lack of inside scoring punch (starting center Joel Anthony had 4 points and Zydrunas Ilgauskas scored 6 off the bench).

So, yeah. F***.

Worst Player of the Night: Tonight's award goes to Darko "Manna From Heaven" Milicic, who -- despite playing against Miami's non-centers -- racked up the following stat line: zero points on 0-for-5 shooting to go with 4 rebounds and 2 assists in 16 minutes of PT. In four games, the 20 Million Dollar Man has compiled a Player Efficiency Rating of 1.9, and Effective Field Goal Percentage of 18.2 and an Offensive Rating of in 53 points per 100 possessions.

Here's another random Darko fact: He has a career Offensive Win Shares total of -2.2. And he is our Basketbawful Worst Player of the Night.

Erik Spoelstra, quote machine: "What I saw tonight out of LeBron was a high IQ game. He managed and dissected the game with his mind." The secret? There is no spoon.

Kurt Rambis, taste testing expert: "We have a lot of young guys on our team. They got a taste of guarding some of the elite players in our league. Our team got a taste of just how powerful a team can be." I'm sure it tasted like chicken. Everything does.

The Milwaukee Bucks: So, uh, anybody still Fearing the Deer? It looked like the Bucks were in pretty good shape going into last night's home game against the Frail Blazers. After all, the Blazers had gotten their asses handed to them in Chicago the night before. And we all know how notoriously difficult the second night of back-to-backs can be.

Honestly, I didn't expect Portland to come away with a lopsided (90-76) road win under those circumstances. The Bucks -- who shot 37 percent, missed 12 of their 13 three-pointers, managed only 4 fast break points, and gave up 21 points off 17 turnovers -- are now 1-3.

Of course, you expect guys like Brandon Roy (17 points) and LaMarcus Aldridge (14 points) to do damage. What you don't necessarily expect is for a team to get lit up by bench players like Wesley Matthews (18 points), Dante Cunningham (12 points on 6-for-8 shooting) and Armon Johnson (10 points on 4-for-4 shooting).

Said Milwaukee coach Scott Skiles: "The Trail Blazers pretty much did whatever they wanted to offensively."

Pretty much.

John Salmons: The line: 5 points on 2-for-14 shooting, including 0-for-4 from beyond the arc. Apparently, the Bucks forgot that there are two distinct John Salmons: The Pre-Trading Deadline Salmons and the Post-Trading Deadline Salmons. Guess which one they've been getting so far this season?

Corey Maggette, quote machine: "We got outplayed, plus we weren't making shots. We weren't making shots and that took away from a lot of our stuff."

Well said, Corey.

Andrew Bogut, quote machine: "They got blown out yesterday in Chicago, and they came out motivated. They had something to prove tonight. They needed this win."

Uh, your team came into the game 1-2 and was playing at home against a tired opponent. Are you telling me you guys had nothing to prove and didn't need the win, Andy?

The Memphis Grizzlies: Mike Conley must have heard about how everybody is ragging on the Griz for giving him what will go down as one of the great crap contracts of any era, because he had a pretty strong game: 16 points, 6-for-11, 8 assists and 3 steals.

Of course, he did a good chunk of that damage against Derek Fisher's corpse, so feel free to disregard it almost entirely. Especially since his team got bushwhacked by the Lakers 124-105.

That said, defense was the Care Bears' biggest foil: The Lakers shot 51 percent as a team -- including 61 percent from three-point range -- and grabbed 20 offensive boards (which was part of their 59-36 rebounding advantage). If the Lakers were a sports car, the Grizzlies wouldn't have even been a speed bump. They might have been an old Coke can the car ran over.

By halftime, the Lakers had scored 73 points and had a 27-point lead.

Said O.J. Mayo: "It was the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest, man. It was just hard to get back into it."

Uh, I'm not sure you were ever "into it" in the first place, O.J.

Marc Gasol: In the last night's BAD comments, Basketbawful reader Sorbo noted: "What's amazing about the Conley deal is the Memphis now has $125 million between Conley and Gay over the next five years (about $25 million a year), while have $0 for Gasol after this season."

Marc then went out and played like a man with a butt hurt: 11 points on 3-for-8 shooting. He did have 8 rebounds and 5 assists, but he had a plus-minus score of -9 and got roughed up by his big brother Pau (21 points, 9-for-16, 13 rebounds, 5 assists, +11). That roughing up included a reverse-dunk posterization.

Said Pau: "It's always more of a fun game for me to go against my former team and also my brother. That was a good play. I've done it a couple of times before -- not on him, other good quality players."

Added Mamba: "I'm glad [Pau] finally dunked on him. I was worried he was going a little soft on him." Huh. That almost qualified for an unintentionally dirty quote entry.

gasol ball

Zach Randolph: Z-Bo missed the game with a bruised ass. No, really.

Said Care Bears coach Lionel Hollins: "That's a bad place to have an injury. You don't realize how much you move that tailbone when you're playing and doing things."

Another near-unintentionally dirty quote.

Sasha Vujacic: The Lakers lead by 29 at one point and ended up winning by 19...and The Machine logged only three minutes (0-for-1, 1 point, -3).

Memo to Maria Sharapova: It's not too late to end this thing.

Lacktion report: Chris celebrated Election Tuesday with -- what else? -- lacktion:

Hawks-Cavs: Jason Collins celebrated a pedestrian win over the post-King Crab Cavs with a 1.55 (1:34) trillion.

Sixers-Generals: Trevor Booker wrote up a walkthrough via foul in NintendoPower in just 6 seconds, earning himself a +1 suck differential AND a Super Mario!


Blogger Dan B. said...
FYI guys, I just dropped John Salmons from my Bawful fantasy team because I just finally noticed how GODAWFUL he has been this year. I get that he was injured and didn't get to do preseason games and whatnot, but that's no excuse for shooting 26.8% from the field for 4 games! So I greatly encourage any and all mocking of him and his horrific shooting.

Blogger BAVERY22 said...
Wall actually had 13 Assists and 9 Steals...and yes, the kid can absolutely play. He'll be exciting to watch for years to come.

Blogger Will said...
Last night was the night of the Dantley. Andrey Blatche had 23 Pts. on 13 FT, Lou Williams had 30 Pts. on 15 FT, and Corey Maggette had 16 Pts. on 8 FT.

Anonymous Al James said...
And I thought Iverson was washed up when he played in Detroit. McGrady has been waaaaaaay more awful then I initially expected. His stats so far this season are more anemic than Darko's, and he never averaged a full field goal a game when he was here. McGrady isn't even averaging a SINGLE POINT PER GAME. WHAT?!
Anyways, the Pistons need a point guard in the worst way. And a center. The team consists of 5 shooting guards and 8 forwards. Bynum is the only point guard and he's a back-up and injured and 4 feet tall. Ben Wallace and Greg Monroe are the only true centers. The Rondo for Stuckey-Prince-Hamilton trade that was almost proposed over the summer is looking pretty good right now.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Corey Maggette is Adrian Dantley reincarnated. Its inexplicable a 3rd or 4th tier player like him gets to the line like Dwight Howard

Blogger Paul said...
No mention of KG calling Villanueva a "Cancer Patient"?
Villanueva is now inviting KG into the octagon

Anonymous Barry said...
I love Garnett, obviously not for his class, but this is really below any belt. It's like Villanueva making fun of Malik Sealy.

That AP Hawks recap...time to get FJM up and running again.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Lou Williams is doing his best Kevin Durant impression in terms of single-handidly winning the FT% category in fantasy.

Also, I just finished my ridiculously in-depth 2010-11 season schedule analysis, concerning B2Bs. I may make it it's own post, because it is pretty awesome.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Also, I just finished my ridiculously in-depth 2010-11 season schedule analysis, concerning B2Bs. I may make it it's own post, because it is pretty awesome.


Blogger Basketbawful said...
Wall actually had 13 Assists and 9 Steals...and yes, the kid can absolutely play. He'll be exciting to watch for years to come.

Yeah, my bad. Fixed.

Last night was the night of the Dantley. Andrey Blatche had 23 Pts. on 13 FT, Lou Williams had 30 Pts. on 15 FT, and Corey Maggette had 16 Pts. on 8 FT.

Just remember that for a true Dantley, the player must have more points off FTs than FGs. So Lou and Mags came up just short.

Anyways, the Pistons need a point guard in the worst way. And a center. The team consists of 5 shooting guards and 8 forwards.

Pretty much. It's becoming clear that Joe Dumars constructed the championship team by accident.

Corey Maggette is Adrian Dantley reincarnated. Its inexplicable a 3rd or 4th tier player like him gets to the line like Dwight Howard

He attacks the rack, no question. Had his shot blocked four times last night, tho'.

No mention of KG calling Villanueva a "Cancer Patient"?


I love Garnett, obviously not for his class, but this is really below any belt. It's like Villanueva making fun of Malik Sealy.


Anonymous Deeg said...
Love your blog, but really your love of the celtics is way out of control. No one should be defending Garnett for that comment or giving Charlie any crap. That was just low.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
I find KG's comments offensive!


Anonymous caseta said...
i agree that garnett really is a pussy. only picked on smaller and less valuable players (peeler, calderon).

i wish someone like barkley or zo would teach his punk ass a lesson. however, in today's nba, there aren't many of their kind left. and even if there were some, kg would avoid getting on their nerves.

Blogger Unknown said...
I'm all for trash talking on the court but even that has its limits.

Charlie V wasn't exactly wrong about him. KG runs anytime someone in the league goes after him.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
No seriously. Fuck Garnett. That shit was terrible. He gets away with it because of his "love for the game" and "intensity." Fuck that. He's a crotchety, loud mouthed bigot who would be an utter corpse without Rondo.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Random hilarity:

Boston's Luke Harangody currently has a PER of 50.1 and an Offensive Rating of 200. Oh, and he's averaging 48.0 PPG per 36 minutes.

Harangody may be the greatest offensive basketball player ever. All he needs is more minutes. 'Cause, you know, he's only played three so far this season.

Blogger Unknown said...
@caseta: Don't worry. Father Time (by who I mean Mark Jackson) taught KG a lesson last June:

Anonymous kazam92 said...

The Peeler video

Blogger Will said...
"He [Maggette] attacks the rack, no question. Had his shot blocked four times last night, tho'."
This is why he's known as Bad Porn, no?

Blogger ChrisH said...
""I texted Michael Jordan and said, 'I'm walking around the city and it brings back a lot of memories of being here with you.'"

hahaha. this is so doug collins and the perfect example of why he bugs me. you should have included a picture of him with his old bleached like eminem hairstyle

Anonymous No Ring King said...
Hang on, can you really jump on Garnett off of, "KG called me a cancer patient" from a losing player's Twitter account? There's plenty of legitimate criticism of him. It doesn't really seem fair to put stock in this.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm not a huge KG fan, but we really only heard Charlie V's version of events. Also, maybe he just doesn't like Charlie V. Just because he called Charlie V a cancer patient doesn't mean he meant it as an insult to anyone who ever had cancer. I think that would be overstating things. Have you really meant every insult you've used against people? I don't know about the rest of you but sometimes I call someone a bag of dicks not because I think that person is or resembles a bag of dicks, but because I have about as much enthusiasm to see or talk to them as I do finding a bag of dicks at my desk in the morning. In any event, it's pretty obvious he wanted to hurt Charlie's feelings, and I think we can see he was wildly successful.

Anonymous Barry said...
But with Villanueva's disease and subsequent lack of hair, he does resemble someone undergoing chemotherapy (that sounds kind of crude), and I think it's fair to assume that is what KG meant. He's not insulting every cancer patient ever obviously, but it's a right dick move to insult someone like that.

Anonymous Jake said...
I'm with Deeg. Fuck Kevin Garnett, and shame on you for defending that kind of bullshit. To paraphrase what Bill Maher said about rabid Obama defenders: the Celtics are your favorite team, not your fucking wife.

Blogger Fishy said...
Anyone else crack up when Phil put Sasha in the game with 5 seconds left in the first half?

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Holy overreaction batman!

1) Who gives a shit what Charlie Villanueva OR KG say to anyone, let alone each other?

2) People who use broad sweeping generalizations, stereotypes, slurs, or otherwise demean others by classifying them as somehow being of lesser status based on physical appearance or disability are not to be taken seriously.

KG was trying to piss CV off and he said something intended to insult one person- not an entire class of people. His indirect slight is being taken out of proportion and out of context (remember: this was from the Twitter feed of a butt-hurt loser), and I do not conclude from all of this that KG is somehow anti-cancer patient.

As an aside, I've got cancer patients in the family, and yet I managed to sleep pretty well last night in spite of KG's diarrhea-of-the-mouth.

"Sticks and stones", people. They're just words. Words from the mouthanus of a known toolbag.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Yah, people love Garnett's crazy intensity and they hate Garnett's crazy intensity. Two sides of the same coin. This was out of line, but who the hell is surprised?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Shame on you for suggesting I'm a Celtics fan. I'm sure it's difficult to see from the top of your ivory tower.

Blogger Will said...
Mouthanus- that's good. So if someone has a mouthanus, can you get a beej and give anal at the same time?

Anonymous AK Dave said...

Yes. And his wife gets ATM whenever she kisses him. (Is he even married? w/e)

Blogger Evil Ted said...
KG: Asshole.

Gasol: Those powerhouse offensive moves are so much easier to execute when you take three steps. He traveled.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...

Blogger Onandonymous said...
Crap, accidental post = epic fail.

What I meant to write was:

'Bawful, when looking at Harangody, you have to remember this is a small sample size...he could be MUCH better than those numbers with more minutes. I'm not sure "the greatest offensive player of all time" will do him justice.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Oh yeah, that sounds like the kind of articulate, well-reasoned trash talk that KG would actually employ during an actual game. Notice the extensive use of f-bombs in that quote.


Nice spin, giant asshole. Continue assholing. Or mouthanusing, as it were.

Anonymous RT said...
Since you've renamed the Generals, can I petition to rename the Sixers as Suxers? I think they've more than earned it for the past couple of seasons.


KG being KG. You know, picking on the smaller guys, being an asshole, and (most importantly) cowering away when they're unwilling to put up with his nonsense.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Cancerous to the league? Thats just as fucking bad! Trash talk my ass.;_ylt=As3m_I7wXku_Z1GlVcTlRX28vLYF?slug=aw-garnettvillanueve110310

a good article on the incident

Anonymous Anonymous said...
No that is a craptastic article from one of the worst writers to come into existence in this universe. If Adrian Wojnarowski seriously believes people will remember this incident in particular during Garnett's Hall of Fame speech, then he is a clueless moron. If you want to read an article that doesn't suck, I suggest

Anonymous SirGirthNasty said...
I remember watching KG's interview with John Thompson back during the '06 (maybe?) All-Star break. You know, the "I'm losing man...I'm losing" tearful plea of a 'passionate' athlete. I remember thinking, "Wow. He really loves the game. It sucks he's stuck with a perennial loser." Then he landed in Boston. I wanted KG to win, I really did. Even as a pseudo-Lakers fan, I respected KG.

Then he got a ring.

In hindsight, I think perhaps I glossed over the trash-talking part of KG's personality. Maybe I was apologetic because I could see he loved the game. Or maybe he quieted down because he realized he couldn't talk since his teams never made the playoffs. But there he was, getting down on the ground and (literally) barking like a dog. Picking on the Jarryd Bayless' and the Jose Calderon's of the league. That's when it all started to shift for me. He started to look like a chump, a bully. Has he ever taunted Kobe that way? KG is a man who shows his insecurity by going after the easy targets. He wants everyone to think he's a hardass, so therefore he wants to maintain his facade. But his cowardly behavior can't be covered up by some bullshit tough-guy routine. It was there when he taunted Charlie Villanueva. Going after the easy target. Like some cruel grade schooler going after the kid who's parents are too poor to buy him new clothes. I don't think it'll stick in his legacy. But for hoops guys like us, we know the real KG. And it ain't pretty.

Anonymous Karc said...
How is KG's line any different than when a sports writer refers to someone as a "cancer" in the locker room...?

Villanueva doesn't even have cancer. He has an auto-immune skin disorder that's of no threat to him. I'd get the outrage if KG said it to someone like George Karl. That would be a low blow.

A-Woj breaking stories, cool. Having an opinion, brings the suck.

Anonymous Anonymous said...!

So I saw that John Wall video and I really couldn't help but do this.

Guile's Theme really DOES go to everything.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Karc - "A-Woj breaking stories, cool. Having an opinion, brings the suck."

If you don't mind, I'm going to be copying and pasting this phrase repeatedly from now on, since I've been trying to find a good way to put it since the summer.