I've already described how popular Reggie Miller is with the ladies. And it's a good thing that's the case...because he won't be ready to join the UFC circuit any time soon. It's not surprising, really. The dude's arms look like a couple old pipe cleaners wrapped in boot leather. You know why he teaches children to read? So they'll help him with all the jars he can't open. Look, all I'm saying is that when old ladies see him out in public, they don't ask for his autograph, they offer to help him across the street.
Okay, I'm done. I think. Here's Reggie's most famous fight: a heated donnybrook with Michael Jordan. A major wag of the finger goes to MJ, who resorted to the cat-fighting tactic of trying to claw Reggie's eyes out. Was that really necessary, Mike? I mean, if a 10-year-old picked a fight with me, I wouldn't try to throw dirt in his face or kick him in the junk. That's just wrong.
And because he has to obsessively copy everything Jordan did, Kobe Bryant also picked a fight with Reggie...leading to a testy rumpus in which Austin Croshere almost lost his jersey. Sorry, ladies. I said "almost."
Okay, I'm done. I think. Here's Reggie's most famous fight: a heated donnybrook with Michael Jordan. A major wag of the finger goes to MJ, who resorted to the cat-fighting tactic of trying to claw Reggie's eyes out. Was that really necessary, Mike? I mean, if a 10-year-old picked a fight with me, I wouldn't try to throw dirt in his face or kick him in the junk. That's just wrong.
And because he has to obsessively copy everything Jordan did, Kobe Bryant also picked a fight with Reggie...leading to a testy rumpus in which Austin Croshere almost lost his jersey. Sorry, ladies. I said "almost."
Labels: Austin Croshere, cat fights, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Reggie Miller
26 Comments:
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mike got a headbutt in and maybe a bit of a punch.
i wish someone would have knocked reggie the fuck out, though. he comes off like a fake tough guy (kinda like kg) and he's waaaaay too overrated.
people talk about reggie as if he's guaranteed to be included in the HOF. there's a certain "future all star" whose career stats are better than reggie's, yet he will NEVER go into the HOF and is never mentioned in this context (which is right).
Also, I don't know if it's just cause I'm a Laker fan that Ron Artest is maybe more on my radar, but Artest seems way more eccentric (i.e. filled with the crazy) than normal lately. I haven't seen either of these items get mentioned 'round these parts, but not only is Artest apparently now friends with the guy who threw the beer at him which was the impetus for the Malice at the Pallace brawl, but now Artest is on video singing the love theme to Titanic (yes, "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion). Ummm...?
Also, kudos for Croshere jumping on Shaq. Altough I'm not sure The Big Breakupper knew there was a Croshere on his back.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pooh_Richardson
To quote:
"His nickname came from his grandmother, who thought he resembled Winnie the Pooh."
MJ may have been the GOAT, but he fought like Pee Wee Herman.
"And that will let Detlef Schrempf enter the game."
BWAHAHAHA
And there was a double foul called on Reggie and MJ, so that's not an issue.
Mike probably should have gotten tossed too, but it's NBA officiating. From 16 years ago.
And since we've mentioned bad nicknames, I'd like to throw "Fat" Lever's hat into the ring.
Future Guy - Totally agree that MJ didn't throw any real punches (maybe that's how he was controlling himself?). Remember, the commish doesn't take kindly to sissies. After all, he has no beef with Stop Snitchin but levied the harshest penalty out of everyone in the Knicks-Nuggets brawl on Melo not for throwing the punch, but for running away afterwards.
While we're on the topic of nicknames, what about Duncan's "Merlin"? It's not bad, but it's kinda lame... Nobody uses it though, which probably explains why he always looks like this.
While we're on this topic and Livin Large, the Big Fundamental also is a D&D fan. I remember from an earlier installment that someone called Bawful's D&D character perfectly. Anyone want to speculate on Timmeh's character?
Just imagine, a bunch of bored NBA people on a plane, someone suggests "Hey, let's play dice. Anyone got one?" And Duncan pulls out his bag of d20's and d100's.
"Erm, maybe some poker instead..."
"I've been fighting that ['dirty' label] for quite some time. It just so happened that I was there after everyone stuck their hands in the cookie jar and then the lights came on and I had a cookie."
Thank you Bruce Bowen, for keeping the hate alive. Almost sad to see you go. Oh wait, no I'm not.
I also liked that fighting generally made Miller better on the court. He was a rare bird (get it?) that got more deadly when he was riled up.
Maybe we could call Duncan the Wizard. Of Waverly Court.
That's funny if you have kids.
"Sun Tzu,'' Stoudemire said. "His motto is, the way he prepares for battle, he uses deception. So, like, let's say we go out to play a game, right, and the New Jersey Nets say Amaré can't go to his left; he's going to go right. But I know what they're thinking, that I'm going to go right. So I go left.''
"Because you're a master of deception,'' Coro said.
"Because I'm a master of deception,'' Stoudemire said.
"Well, it's a book,'' Stoudemire said. "A lot of generals and warriors read his book because he has a great idea of how to win without even fighting. You know what I'm saying?"
"Win before it starts,'' Coro said, nodding.
"Yeah,'' Stoudemire said. "So that's why they call me Sun Tzu.''
Ian Thomsen is wrong about the nickname lasting two weeks though. One year and going strong. Still, his vagueness about what exactly it is he's applying from the Art of War makes me wonder if he didn't just wiki it and read the first paragraph.