Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Conversation: Starring A.I. and God
By Basketbawful at 8:30 AM
Bawful - Please tell me you're going to make a Quest for the G(rizzlies) starring AI.
9/10/2009 8:48 AM
AI in Memphis will be spectacular, probably in many amusing ways.
9/10/2009 8:53 AM
And there was much rejoicing.
9/10/2009 9:01 AM
The Grizzlies bench facepalm was probably the best possible transition imaginable there. Simply perfect. The only thing missing is AI breaking out his cellphone and posting something on Twitter about it.
. AI would be lyings if he said he was excited about going to Memphis.
9/10/2009 9:11 AM
If AI was being honest he would say that God farted in his general direction.
9/10/2009 9:41 AM
This has nothing to do with the post but I was at TrueHoop.com a few minutes ago when I saw this gem.
Stephon Marbury's response to rumors: "If you think I'm gay, leave me in a room with your girlfriend for an hour."
1) Marbury is pure comedy gold.
2) Maybe he's not gay but bisexual.
...not that's there's anything wrong with that!
9/10/2009 9:47 AM
Sweet. The task is complete. Zach Randolph AND AI together...That's an effing unstoppable duo.
9/10/2009 9:53 AM
Don Ebay Mølse
God not only has a sense of humor... he's got a good one!
9/10/2009 10:16 AM
Cortez, I always appreciate every glimpse possible into Starbury's entertaining craziness. I'm only slightly disappointed that Starbury didn't say "truck" instead of "room" in that quote. "Truck party" references never get old.
9/10/2009 10:20 AM
From Doug Smith's blog at thestar.com:
"With news filtering out yesterday that Allen Iverson is joining a Memphis team that already includes O.J. Mayo, Zach Randolph and Rudy Gay, I feel it’s my duty to report that the NBA record for fewest assists per game by a team is 15.6, set by Atlanta in the lockout-shortened 50-game 1998-99 season.
Just pointing it out for future reference. "
9/10/2009 10:59 AM
who did the illustration?
9/10/2009 12:01 PM
BasketBawful, the master of the mirror-image discussion. I'll be watching Memphis games next season with the same morbid curiousity when watching train wreck news reports.
9/10/2009 12:04 PM
NarSARSsit -- I might have something in the works.
Dan B. -- A.I. Tweeted off-panel immediately after the conversation.
Cortez -- His brain filter was physically removed. I'm sure of it.
clicc916 -- They're going to be so unstoppable that one ball won't be enough.
Lord Kerrance -- Consider that watch ON.
CassavaLeaf -- The picture of God is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And the conversation is based on that movie as well.
9/10/2009 12:06 PM
AnacondaHL -- The mirror image conversations are my subtle homage to the brilliant
Get Your War On
9/10/2009 12:08 PM
9/10/2009 12:15 PM
Bawful - Yea, but you took it to the next level. The whole "using the same image with different zoom" is common, you could even say Dinosaur Comics is the most extreme example of this.
But it's all about that mirror image with comic book bubbles, which is why you're my #1 sloppy seconds bro.
BTW, that last comic by GYWO is great. It really symbolizes how the newspaper/web comics industry took a big hit once GWB left office, like 8 years of prosperity vanished.
9/10/2009 12:29 PM
AnacondaHL - "...which is why you're my #1 sloppy seconds bro."
You have now entered the ranks of mind-numbingly horrifying moments, along with the mangina from Silence of the Lambs and Deliverance.
9/10/2009 1:31 PM
I never thought I would see (or cause) a comment that would invoke a thought combination of jealousy over sloppy seconds bro status with moosehoof.
With a word verification of "mandogic".
9/10/2009 1:49 PM
Boys, boys, boys...no fighting over me. There's plenty of sloppy seconds to go around.
Huh. Maybe I should rephrase that.
9/10/2009 1:58 PM
Terry Gilliam FTW! \o/
9/10/2009 3:13 PM
Dude, I didn't know that you became Mat McHale this morning, judging from the behavior of Taco Bell AnacondaHL...
9/10/2009 3:58 PM
"Hey baby," he said, and there was a dangerous edge to his voice.
9/10/2009 4:05 PM
Absolutely hilarious post.
9/10/2009 4:07 PM
Here's hoping the Z Randolph-A Iverson pairing is spectacularly entertaining catastrophe. Like a car flipping end over end in "A-Team"
Permission granted to use "AI-Team" and all its harmless wreckage as a motif for the Grizzlies.
9/10/2009 4:36 PM
Very well-made strip. 'Fess up, Bawful-- deep inside you just want to make webcomics.
9/10/2009 5:29 PM
Bawful - please read your post, and then notice your creepy picture next to it.
Axe Head - awesome. Except this time it's the AI team that can't hit a shot from 10 feet away.
One question about the Grizzist watch - do Kobe Bryant Assists count? If so they've got that 15 or so APG smoked!
9/10/2009 7:45 PM
Tiger Woods, unintentionally dirty quote machine: “I remember the countless hours I spent with Michael in the gym feeding him balls”
9/10/2009 11:55 PM
That was perfect
9/11/2009 2:34 AM
From A to Z will not be the new Stockton to Malone.
9/11/2009 5:05 AM
Bullshit... Iverson IS God
9/11/2009 8:16 AM
"Boys, boys, boys...no fighting over me. There's plenty of sloppy seconds to go around."
If we've learned nothing else from the Living Large series, we've certainly learned that :)
9/11/2009 10:13 AM
Baguete - Of course AI is God. He just so happens to be all-loving too, so he'll split himself in two and talk to himself to help Bawful write a post.
WV: Recest - With all the talk of sloppy seconds going around, this may end up becoming a problem down the line.
9/11/2009 11:50 AM
AI, Randolph, Mayo and Gay playing together. Where are the assists going to come from again?
I didn't think it was possible, but someone managed to put together a team as hilarious as Isiah's Knicks
9/11/2009 11:54 AM
What is the Grizzlies starting 5 gonna look like? Who is the starting backcourt out of these three: Mike Conley, OJ Mayo, AI? They've got Rudy Gay at SF, but then they have Marc Gasol, Zach Randolph and Hasheem Thabeet up front. Any guesses on what the starting 5 will be?
9/11/2009 12:52 PM
Bawful - Take your time with the "where are they now" info, I'm fine waiting for it if it means a more awesome epilogue.
Anyways, for content, I have to admit I've become intrigued by the potential train-wreck bawful in Memphis this season. So much so, that my idea for the season on BasketBawful would be called
Basically, instead of looking at Block Against like the Yao Watch, we'd examine the MIN, FGA, and AST of each player of the Gay-Mayo Era 2.0, in addition to any other fun stats as they arise, like TOs. As background, the Memphis Grizzlies ranked
near last in every meaningful category in the league last season
. With the notable additions of Zach Randolph and Allen Iverson, let's kick things off by looking at some career averages of the 7 players likely to get the most minutes:
Mayo - 38:06, 6.9/15.7 (43.8%), 3.2 AST
Gay - 33:47, 6.4/14.2 (45.0 %), 1.7 AST
Gasol - 30:41, 4.3/8.1 (53.0%), 1.7 AST
Conley - 28:48, 3.8/8.7 (43.7%), 4.3 AST
Iverson - 41:23, 9.4/22.1 (42.5%), 6.2 AST
Randolph - 30:00, 6.6/14.2 (46.6%), 1.7 AST
Arthur - 19:18, 2.5/5.7 (43.8%), 0.6 AST
Okay, so that's 222 minutes (out of 240), 39.9/88.7 (45.0%), and
19.4 AST per game, which is an improvement from last year's horrible gay-mayo of 17.4, but still puts them at the bottom of the league
. Obviously it's hard to project AI's performance, like AST numbers, when on the Memphis squad. Not to mention that's three guards with 110 minutes that need to be squeezed into 96. But that's why we need the Grizz Watch for next season.
9/11/2009 1:00 PM
Greg Ostertag works out for the Blazers
9/11/2009 1:07 PM
Anonymous -- Oh my God. We could all use a little more Greg Ostertag in our lives. Please let him play some this year. Our supply of goofy white big men is dwindling!
9/11/2009 1:45 PM
Dan B. - Nah,
by the Indiana Pacers.
9/11/2009 2:30 PM
AnacondaHL -- Yeah, but nobody watches the Pacers, so does it really matter? (The whole "tree falls in a woods" thing)
9/11/2009 3:07 PM
don't worry, the moment he signs with the Blazers, the Jazz will trade 3 guys for him and make him their starter.
9/11/2009 3:54 PM
Jerry Sloan thanked Greg Ostertag in his Hall of Fame speech. I shot beer from my nose...
9/11/2009 7:21 PM
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