Since I'm not sure what to think of the fact that Joe Dumars signed Kwame Brown to a (potentially) two-year contract, I'm just going to post these old parodies from The Man Show. Dis here Karl Malone...




Note: I could only find these three videos, but I know there were several more. I would be forever grateful to whoever could find the others. (And by "forever" I mean "until about lunchtime.")

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14 Comments:
Anonymous Nick F. (Buck Nasty) said...
What about Ricky "The Black Hole" Davis getting signed by my Clippers? God help us all!

As a follow up to "Nike's non-offensiveness offends me":

buck nasty -- I think you mean "The White Hole" http://youtube.com/watch?v=20a-exAW6qc

btw, i don't know if other people have told you they are getting the same problem, but youtube videos never work (for me) on your site. no sound and it stops after about 3 seconds.

also, when i click through and open the youtube link in another window, it still won't work until i close your page and refresh the video.

anyway i have no idea why its happening or if its just me, but just fyi.

Anonymous Katchoo said...
Yeah, by signing Ricky Davis the Clippers have guaranteed themselves a trip to Secaucus New Jersey for the 2009 Draft Lottery.

The Kwame signing boggles the mind more than anything else. If Joe Dumars wants to throw money away he could have just signed Scottie Pippen or Latrell Sprewell. At least they could play (when they were last in the NBA. Well, maybe not Pippen...).

Anonymous Jonny Drama said...
phenomenal cosmic power, i had that problem on this site last week, it's been working yesterday and today for me though. no clue what makes it happen.

Anonymous brandon hoffman said...
I loved the Karl Malone puppet on Jimmy Kimmel. "Karl Malone says..."

Blogger PistonsGirl4Life said...
Basically my life is over. This ranks right up there with the Wings signing Todd Bertuzzi or "InsertAnyDraftPickMadeByMattMillenHere"...

Seriously, please please please let Kwame get hit by a bus before he can actually sign that contract.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
nick -- Ricky D. going to the Clippers just felt...right, somehow. By the way, I lost your email addy, and I need your address for the Schick giveaway.

me. friend of bamboo -- Damn, I'd forgotten all about that...

phenomenal cosmic power -- I haven't isolated why it's happening. I think it has something to do with the large number of videos I've been posting because of the Worsties.

katchoo -- Man, this is the NBA. The Gregs Kite and Ostertag each played for 11 seaons. Why not Kwame?

brandon hoffman -- And if you think a day goes by where I don't scan eBay for that puppet, you'll never ever ever know me.

pistonsgirl4life -- I wrote a post for Deadspin about the Kwame signing, not sure it it's up yet, but I basically said that the deal was a no-lose situation for Dumars. I mean, bad as he is, it's hard to find a backup big man for only $4 mil a year, and there really aren't any free agents of that size available now. Plus, the Pistons may be over the cap but they're well under the luxery number...so signing Kwame won't cost them tax dollars. Basically, Kwame can't hurt them. And there's always the off chance -- and I know this is a long shot -- that Kwame's going to bust his ass to try and get one more big oontract after this deal expires (or he opts out). I mean...he's only 26.

Blogger Chaitanya Sai said...
Hey Phenomenal Cosmic Power,
I had the same problem and looked and found on Googling that this is a flash player problem. If you have version 9, try downloading v10 (this worked for me). If you have v10 and still doesn't work, then try out some of the suggestions here.
http://www.jeroenwijering.com/?thread=9634

Anonymous Wormboy said...
I've had the same problem with videos, but refreshing the screen generally solves it.

Kwame Brown eh? Need to write a column on that. I expected that dude to be playing in Europe soon.

Interesting to see what Joe Dumars will do here. I mean, this is one of the more successful franchises in modern history, if you consider trips to the conference finals success (and I do). Where does he go from here? It's certainly one of the better [u]teams[/u] in the modern NBA, but none of these guys are really stars (and no, Billups is NOT "Mr. Big Shot"). Rasheed is simply to streaky to carry a team to a championship. Prince and Stuckey are the only guys young enough to pay significant dollars to hang onto, and even Prince looked pretty shabby in the playoffs this year.

Sadly, I think my man Mr. McDyess will be leaving Detroit without a championship. I really wanted him to win one, but apparently not.

Blogger PistonsGirl4Life said...
Bawful, I'm having this SAME discussion page after page over at DBB so I'll spare you the details except the share three key points:

1) No matter HOW much you love, care for and polish a turd.... it's still Kwame Brown... I mean a turd, same difference, etc.

2) Shame, ridicule, bad turnovers and over-compensation follow Kwame Brown EVERYWHERE he goes. We're talking about a man who once dribbled a ball OFF HIS LEFT FOOT AND OUT OF BOUNDS during get this... a back to the basket move. Not a running break, nope, BEFORE he tried a McHale... 4really. Throw in the fact that Amir and Maxy STILL aren't getting enough mins and I'm sorry but you're just wrong. This move has PLENTY of negative potential, not the least of which is fat chicks from Dearborn yelling "We Love You Kwame" during timeouts. Please reconsider.

3) Even casual NBA fans in Detroit know this is the kiss of death. Actual conversation the night Stien announced this deal:

PG4L “You haven’t heard? Joe’s gone crazy and signed Kwame for 2 years at 4 per according to Stien”

Jason “I hope you mean Kilpatrick”

(Quoted from DBB, but I think this is revealing enough to quote myself).

Basically I should just say "Are you F'ing mental? It's KWAME BROWN DUDE!"

Blogger Basketbawful said...
pistonsgirl4life -- Man, the one time I try to be positive, somebody shoots me down. ;)

What I meant to say was, even if Brown doesn't pan out -- which is pretty likely -- the Pistons are deep (with Johnson and Maxiell, as you point out) and already had 12 guys on guaranteed contracts. They added a big guy who, while (ahem) offensively limited can block shots and intimidate in the paint for, like, 5 minutes a game if (and only if) the Pistons need to go big. And they got him for next to nothing. If he sucks, which, again, is likely, they can leave him at the end of the bench and just go small with Amir and Jason.

If this was, say, three seasons ago and Joe had signed Kwame for $10 mil, there might have been pressure to play him. Now? No pressure. He's just an added asset they got on the cheap. If they can get something out of him, great. If not, he won't play.

The pro-Kwame fat chicks are something that, admittedly, I hadn't considered. So, I will go on record as saying I was wrong...there could indeed be some negative potential in this deal...

(IMHO, though, the Pistons are too good to be utterly ruined by even Kwame Brown.)

Blogger Roger said...
My all-time favorite Kimmel/Malone was the one about personal hygiene... "And remember, Karl Malone say, 'Make the last wipe a wet one!'"

Anonymous Anonymous said...
am I the only one that thinks mark jackson always sounds like he's impersonating fake karl malone?

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