brokebackstern

Today's spoonful of syrupy man love was nominated by Basketbawful reader Jim in KFalls: "My suggestion for 'Thursday afternoon man love' is the caption from the Clay Bennett e-mails directed to David Stern that Henry Abbott quoted on TrueHoop." Good call, Jim. Very good call.

Here's the full text of Clay's e-mail, which shall hereafter be referred to as An Ode To My Big, Stern Man. As love poems go, it's pretty weak. Hardly anything rhymes, he disregarded iambic pentameter, and there isn't a hint of enjambment. He didn't even include any elegiac couplets. But the prose is still sugary enough to give you a cavity. Or make you violently ill. One or the other. (My vote? "Other.")

"I am concerned that you may feel I have betrayed your trust. David you know how I feel about our relationship both personally and professionally. You are among a very few, notwithstanding our relative brief actual physical time together that have significantly affected my life. I view you as a role model as an extraordinarily gifted executive, a deep and compassionate thinker, and a person with a rare and unique charisma that brings out the best in everyone you touch. You are just one of my favorite people on earth and I so cherish our relationship Sonics business aside. I would never breach your trust."

Is it possible to forward somebody a key to your hotel room over e-mail? Because if it is, Clay must have done it with this one. That one paragraph is pretty telling, though. Clay must have led a pretty sheltered life, because when you share a "relative brief actual physical time" with someone, you don't need to write them a Shakespearean sonnet. Cab fare and a smack on the ass will do. Write that down.

Update: The new graphic was the work of Basketbawful reader Stephen, who also designed the new banner. Here's the picture I originally used.

Clay and Dave

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18 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
HA!
~LJ

Anonymous Shrugz said...
I like your new banner LOL
much better LOL

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I made it my life goal to never see that full shot of Peja. And you have now ruined that goal. BTW the site rocks

Blogger Tonewise said...
New Billboard DAY!

Blogger Ben Q. Rock said...
Is Antoine Walker up there twice? lol.

Anonymous Kyle said...
wow, the new banner is a bit much. marbury, zeke and hughes all together? it's the holy trinity of suck!

Blogger Hersey said...
LMAO

Love the new banner. Hollinger stinks.

Blogger Hersey said...
LMAO

Love the new banner. Hollinger stinks.

Anonymous flitzy said...
wow...Bawful i love the up top banner, this morning before i yanked my vanilla weasel to the worst of the night, i was thinking to myself tha i was getting sick of the isiah, atest, pja, midget, raja topping...kudos!

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Just curious, have the couple year old famous photos of Dirk and/or Nash drunk ever made their way here? Seems like if not in a man love entry they should at least be represented in the new banner somewhere.

Anonymous james said...
the banner is bad ass
looks like we have
ricky davis with a fro, gary payton with the lakers, peja in a beanie, [who's the guy in the face mask and the bald guy behind peja?], robert swift with a fro, walker with a trophy, isiah thomas, stephon marbury, darko with his bf?, larry hughes, steve francis, [who's the guy next to francis?], a dumbass looking scott pollard, vince carter, and raef lafrentz giving it to antonie walker

Anonymous Anonymous said...
No Ostertag on the new banner?

Anonymous Shrugz said...
you shoulda had vince laying on his back crying and holding his ankles

Anonymous natopotato said...
Love the new banner... but where's the Korver-getting-schooled-and-squealing-like-a-girl photo?...

Anonymous Rainbow Bright said...
I <3 you Bawful. If I could breed your children, I would in a second.

And the man love is even funnier due to Clay Bennett being a complete homophobic douche.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
ben q rock -- Yup. A double-shot of 'Toine.

flitzy -- Glad I can give you new eye candy. The banner was actually sent in by a reader...as much as I'd like to take credit.

wild yams -- The ONLY reason I haven't used those wonderful pictures is because they became so widely known a few years back. Although, believe it or not, they were a part of our original banner.

james -- The man in the facemask is Brian Cardinal, the bald man is John "Stat God" Hollinger.

anonymous -- I know! I might need to ask Stephen to add a few items to the banner...Ostertag, Kobe getting thugged by Raja, and maybe Ron Artest in a hot tub.

shrugz -- Mmm. Good point.

natopotato -- Damn. Another possible addition...

rainbow bright -- Are you sure about that? I'm guessing you wouldn't enjoy the larva process...it's kind of painful. But I'm gonna call you when I need to lay my space pods, doll.

Blogger Melvin said...
Man I love the new header.... i think amaechi shouldve been there

Anonymous Hoffman said...
LOL!

I almost fell out my chair when I saw Hollinger in the corner.

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