Despite what women think of us, men are interested in more than just large breasts. Many men like long legs, others fancy tight butts, and some even enjoy the sight of bare feet smushed into a banana cream pie. See? Our tastes are as diverse as the number of rude noises we can make by expelling gasses from our bodily cavities.

Personally, I like the brain. To me, there's nothing sexier than an elongated reticular formation and a firm, supple parietal lobe. And don't even bring up the corpus callosum unless you're just trying to make me blush. (And it totally worked. I am now blushing. Jerk.)

No NBA dancer has tickled my b-spot quite like Vi of the Sixers Dancers. According to her official bio, Vi's proudest accomplishment is that she graduated summa cum laude -- I bet they do! -- from Kuttown University. There's only one problem with that. There is no Kuttown University. Anywhere. There is a Kutztown University in Pennsylvania, though. Maybe that's it. Although shouldn't someone who graduated summa cum laude be able to spell the name of her alma mater correctly?

Speaking of which, her bio also says she graduated with a BA in science. Huh. I now know only two things about this mysterious "Kuttown" University: 1. The name doesn't turn up on any Internet search engines, and 2. it gives out Bachelor of Arts degrees in science. The science of what, exactly? Irresistibly Sexiness?

But let's not nitpick over a couple little typos. Let's concentrate on the many other fascinating things about Vi, like the fact that she's a math teacher! (And it's not like you need to be able to spell correctly to explain Goldbach's conjecture or transfinite numbers.) Or that her nickname is "Sweet Venus." (I really, really wish I knew the story behind that one.) Why, she even loves warm soda! How many people can put that down next to a picture of them wearing miniature, skin-tight shorts? The answer: I have no idea. (P.S. I don't like warm soda. But if it works for Vi, then I'm more than willing to try it.)

Fun fact: Kutztown University, if that is indeed where Vi attended college, has a mascot named Avalanche the Golden Bear. He is a fat, yellow bear who doesn't wear any pants. No, really.


According to his official biography, Avalanche's favorite food is Whoopie Pie. Yes, you read that correctly. Whoopie Pie. God, I miss college. Good news! You can go and reserve Avalanche for your party or corporate event right now!

Credit where it's due: Many thanks to Suns mega-fan LooseChange for the referral. Who better to find a hot, brainy chick than a hot, brainy chick, right? The rest of you readers and/or perverts out there should also feel free to nominate someone for Basketbabe of the Week. But please: No porn. I can find that on my own, as well as many e-mail offers to enlarge my penis to enormous size. Nominees should be an NBA team dancer, a player's wife/girlfriend/mistress (thanks Geert), or an actual reader of the site. I might even stretch the rules for a hot girlfriend/cousin/mother of a faithful reader. (Remember: I heart MILFs.)

Labels: Basketbabe of the Week