Utah isn't exactly a wild and crazy place. This is particularly ironic since most of the people who live there think they should be allowed to marry as many people as they want. You'd think that kind of progressive social structure would lead to some hot and sexy in-arena entertainment for Jazz games, but, sadly, that is not the case. The Jazz "entertainment teams" are just as lame as anybody else's, and probably lamer. These groups include:The Albertson's Junior Jazz Dancers: The junior dancers are a pedophile's dream come true: a group of adorable, pre-adolescent girls dressed in miniskirts and knee socks who prance around to the delight and amusement of the home crowd. How in the name of Zeus did anyone think this was okay?
Maybe I'm too cynical. Maybe I've read one too many news stories about Catholic priests handing out delicious candy. But all I know is that this little dance troup is about half an inch of shiny material away from being categorized as child abuse. Somebody in the Jazz organization should be very, very ashamed of themselves.The Dairy Farmers of Utah Jazz Stunt Team: The DFoUJST are a bunch of gymnists and cheerleaders who jump around and pose, accompanied by a group of guys who toss them into the air and hold them over their heads. I guess this takes a little more training and precision than your standard dance team, but it still sounded a little pathetic...until I saw the picture over on the right. And now, well, I think the group might have some merit. As the DFoUJST promo says, "You won't want to miss the high-flying, acrobatic stunts that leave fans cheering for more." I have a news flash for you guys: it's not the stunts we want more of.The Superior Computers Flippers: The flippers aren't a group of lovable dolphins who can use a precise series of clicks and screeches to tell you the exact location of the well little Jimmy fell into. No, they're an "all-male, action packed, power-tumbling team that dominate the court during time-outs." And nothing gets me psyched up for NBA action like the exploits of an all-male tumblig team! Yeeeee-haw!! Go Jazz!!