Bulls shoots-a-lot guard Ben Gordon hates Duke. Not Duke players, just Duke. He won't say why. He also won't drive to the cup. C'mon Ben, stop shootin' so many damn jumpers.

After three years of backbreaking effort and endless toil, Lebron James is finally, at long last, going to the playoffs. Yippee. Somewhere out there, Craig Ehlo is very excited.

Pat Riley is whining again.

Maurice Cheeks thinks this year's Detroit Pistons (57-14) are a little like his 1982-83 76ers, a team that won 65 games and steamrolled to the championship, going through the playoffs at a "fo, fie, fo" clip. He then likened the current Sixer team (32-38) to the 1972-73 squad.

The Dallas Mavericks (54-18), for all the success they've had this season, continue to lose tough games against above-average teams.

The Portland Trailblazers (20-50) suck, and Joel Przybilla isn't happy about it. In fact, he may not re-sign with the team because he thinks some of the other Blazers have stopped trying. I have to disagree there, Joel. They never started trying. Anyway, you'll be missed in Portland, I'm sure. How will the ever replace your 4 points and 5 rebounds per game?

Our buddies over at The Association aren't the only ones who have a hate thing for Bruce Bowen. Apparently, Phil Jackson (a.k.a. "The Zing Master") thinks that the frisky Bowen plays the game like...Edward Scissorhands. Of course, this is the same guy who once made a home movie about how Rick Adelman is like Adolph Hitler. But sarcasm aside, I think this opens up a whole new range of endorsement possibilities for Bowen. I, for one, would love to own a Bruce Scissorhands action figure.