Sometimes it's hard to make fun of people who work so hard to do it to themselves. Every time Ron Artest opens his mouth, it puts us in the awkward position where we can't tell if we're supposed to laugh or treat him for Tourette's. First he trashes his coach and demands a trade, then he claims he loves the team and wants to stay, and now he...rips on Magic Johnson for committing adultery?!

Worse than destroying your team and then demanding a trade.

Apparently, Magic had the gall to agree with the Pacers and the rest of the free world that Artest needs and deserves a swift boot out of town. Ron wasted very little time or thought in responding: "He's saying Ron Artest should have no more second chances. What's worse — me saying I want to be traded or you cheating on your wife?"

Jesus breakdancing Christ, Ron! Apples and oranges, dude. And hasn't anybody ever told you not to pick on fat people with a terminal illness? Besides, this would hardly count as your "second chance." I'm not a mathematist or numberographer, but by my count you've had, like, two hundred million chances. Get over it, and start looking for apartments in Toronto.