Hey Oklahoma City, nice basketball team. Lol. Better enjoy it. Not like you got anything else to do around there. Unless you consider cow tipping a competitive sport.........Ah who am I kidding, I'm totally jealous. This season when I cheer on the Mavs, I'll close my eyes and think about the Thunder. And that's OK right? The Mavericks don't have to know. Fantasizing isn’t quite cheating. How often has a franchise moved to a new city, and then shown gigantic improvements each and every year? The only reason I haven't already started rockin' a Thunder jersey is for fear of being labeled a traitor by my peers.

This may or may not be a James Harden tattoo on what may or may not be my arm.

I'm a cynical bastard. It’s easy for me to look at almost any person/situation and spot something to hate. "What’s that you say...You got a new puppy? Probably shits all over the house." "Oh, you just got your Bachelor's in Philosophy...hmm, well that’s…cool I guess.” That’s me. But for some reason, I cannot hate Kevin Durant. I just can't do it. He's a superstar, yet somehow he isn't a scumbag. If a Jehovah's Witness knocks on his door, he probably stands there listening politely. If a girl starts changing clothes in front of him he probably won't sneak a peek while she’s not looking. If he's microwaving something late at night while everyone is asleep, he'll stop it a 1 second so that the beep sound doesn't disturb anyone.

"Hmm, this floor looks a little scuffed. I'll give it a nice once over with the buffer after the game."

Last season the Thunder tore through the league and dominated in the first three rounds of the playoffs before succumbing to the Miami Heat. This offseason they gave Serge Ibaka a nice 4 year $40 million extension. Word around the internet is they are working with James Harden on his extension as well. He's supposedly interested in signing for less than the max. So much for all that talk about the Thunder not being able to pay their core to stick together. I've always felt that assumption was premature anyway. They’ve never been big spenders recently because there wasn't any reason to. No point in breaking the bank for a bunch of scrubs when you're doing pretty well with guys on rookie salaries.

Now that Eric Maynor is back healthy again, they've given Derek Fisher the boot. I imagine he still thinks he can play, but who the hell wants a 38 year old backup point guard who can’t give you points or guard. They also drafted Perry Jones III with the 28th pick in the Draft. His pre-draft physical revealed potential long term knee issues. That coupled reportedly less than stellar work habits seemed to be the main causes for the dip in his draft stock. PJ3 was probably never meant to be THE guy. However in OKC, he won’t have to deal with the pressure of carrying a team. He won't even have to deal with the pressure of being a starter. It’s a great situation for him. I'm not guaranteeing he'll be a star, but I am guaranteeing he'll play a big role for the Thunder at some point in the post season...What else...oh yeah they also signed the human punch line Hasheem Thabeet.

NBA: Finals-Oklahoma City Thunder at Miami Heat
 "Just sit back and let KD do all the heavy lifting. How do you think I got my rings"

I see no reason why OKC won’t be a force this upcoming season. They’ve kept all key components and managed to get what I think will be a pretty decent player in the draft. The only thing that could slow them down is if Durant and Westbrook finally had a full on Kobe-Shaq rift. They’ll either be first or second in the West depending on how long Dwight Howard is gone from the Lakers lineup. If they break through this year and win the title, I’ll privately do a celebratory jig. But publicly I’ll claim their success as a fluke and that my team was somehow cheated…ya know, because I’m a hardcore fan and stuff.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Next season you will be seeing james harden and his stupid beard in phoenix, jason. In the end it will always be about the money and the opportunity to be the go to guy instead of being just the third option on a team that can't beat miami.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
I can actually see Kevin Durant stopping a microwave early late at night...virtually impossible to despise.

Well done, J.


Anonymous Rüdi said...
I don't think Westbrook will listen to the wise words of D-Fish :)

Anonymous tjr said...
Oklahoma City Private Celebratory Jigs -
Still a better name than The Thunder.

And I say that not as a bitter ex Sonics fan...no wait that's exactly what I say it as.

As you righty said the only thing that could stop OKC from a 1 or 2 seed in the West this season is a Avon/Stringer type of feud. And Durant (Stringer) seems to be far too nice for that. Even in the worse case scenario Westbrook would be traded for someone like Ricky Rubio, which is extremely fine by me as well.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
awesome post. Made my day. Hats off to Jason...

Blogger Dan B. said...
I cracked up at the image of Kevin Durant microwaving a frozen burrito in a dark kitchen watching the timer like a hawk.

Blogger Wormboy said...

DEEron dishes on Cuban. Could be, but I'm betting that the Mavs' roster changes did more to discourage DEEron than Cuban's self-indulgent reality TV BS. The Mavs didn't act like they were interested in a repeat last year. So why should DEEron go there?

Oh, and we should have a lottery for when DEEron acknowledges the male pattern baldness, bails on the comb-forward, and goes for the NBA shave. It worked for MJ, DEEron. Just sayin'.

And this is even better:

The NYT keeps having articles on Sheed, even though it is worse than I feared: the man is too fat to even go through training camp. What, are they worrying about a heart attack? I've always liked Sheed, but goddamn. If you show up too fat to give a tiny push to a ring for the Celtics in '09-'10, how the hell are you going to help the dysfunctional Knicks in '12-13 after smoking bowl and eating ice cream for the last two years? Ain't happening.


From October 7. Yeah, he's looking jowly, and I see a spare tire. Don't you know what smokin the doob does to your lungs, Sheed?

When I was playing varsity soccer in college, we used to talk about that thin layer of fat that was the difference between being in game shape and being a weekend warrior. Also called "penalty weight" (because you have to carry it with you everywhere.) Sheed is sporting the thick layer of blubber instead of the thin layer of fat. It does end well for any other players either, Sheed. Not Shawn Kemp bad, but still.

Blogger miami said...
Good work Jason...

Miami Kia