"I'M A MIME TRAPPED IN AN INVISIBLE BOX -- OH, DAMMIT, I FORGOT TO BE QUIET AGAIN!"Sorry for the lack of BAD posts last week -- I felt (wait for it...) bad.
Hey, why are you throwing tomatoes at me?
To make up for the absence and the horrible pun, here's an unbelievable moment in Sports Man Love history:
Footbawful at its... finest? Yeah, finest.Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
"Ta da!!"
Justin Bieber was at the Hawks game where they sucked like nothing has ever sucked before. How appropriate.
Jeff Foster is enjoying this a little too much...
Ray Allen and AK47 get better acquaintedNationally Televised Games:Wizards Generals at Knicks, NBA TV, 7:30pm: Now that scheduling has self-corrected the Knicks' record, they're in danger of dropping below .500 -- lucky for them that the Generals are also in danger of not winning a single damn road game this season.
Kings at Frail Blazers, NBA TV, 10pm: The Purple Paupers have lost their last 7 games by 7 points or less. At least they're kind enough to keep things
somewhat close for their fans, right?
All the Other Games:Cavaliers at Nyets, 7pm: Speaking of teams that have no concept of how to win away from home... The last time the Cavs snagged a road victory was back in November against, yes, the New Jersey Nyets.
Pistons at Magic, 7pm: Allow me to remind of what went down back in December when these two teams last met: Pumaman, Jameer Nelson, and JJ Redick were all out with "flu-like symptoms" (that miraculously seem to actually truly be related to the flu). And yet Orlando
still won easily, and in fact had their best shooting percentage game of the season. Rip Hamilton should be happy
he's not being associated with this suckfest right now.
Suns at 76ers, 7pm: If there's one thing the Sixers do well, it's shut down the trey. Their opponents are averaging just 31.4% from downtown. The Small Ball Suns loooove to shoot the three. Something's gotta give. Here's a hint: the Sixers have only one win when allowing more than 100 points this year, and guess who that was against.
Grizzlies at Craptors, 7pm: Be ready to see lots of ugliness around the basket. The Grizzlies are averaging an NBA-best 49.1 points in the paint. The Dinos are too busy being extinct and rollerblading down stairs to play any defense at the rim, and are allowing a league-worst 48.1 points in the paint per game.
Also,
this picture is likely the most bawful thing you will see today.
Thunder at Hornets, 8pm: The Hornets have been playing out of their friggin' minds on defense lately. Is this just more fools' gold, or have they finally figured out something?
Bucks at Bulls, 8pm: The Bulls have a nasty habit of letting sub-.500 teams hang around and even beat them. But they've
still reached the 30 win mark a full month earlier than last year. I'd say Thibodeau was a nice upgrade over The Notorious VDN, wasn't he?
Rockets at Timberwolves, 8pm: Actual line from the STATS LLC game preview: "The Timberwolves (10-33), who play five of seven at Target Center, are a respectable 8-12 at home." What? A .400 record at home is respectable? Man, the bar is really getting lowered in Minny.
Spurs at Warriors, 10:30pm: The last Spurs game saw them battle through their worst offensive effort of the season. So get ready for the absolute opposite of that tonight. The Gol_en State Warriors, everyone!
Labels: Avery Johnson, Bawful After Dark, Footbawful, man love
In other words, shit's about to get real.
For those of us attending the Care Bears-Craptors game, that is most definitely not true.
my first thought was "when did the Jazz sign tom chambers again??????"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/azdb7/Wizards.jpg
"He's cut! He's cut! The Russian's cut, and it's a BAD cut!"
Just shameful. Their actually tanking in a classless way. I didn't think that was possible. I thought just tanking put you on the bottom rung.
Dan B.: Carl Weathers- R.I.P.
Wow.
from Twitter:
http://twitter.com/#!/SamAmicoNBA/status/29690346396979201
SamAmicoNBA Sam Amico
Cavs-Nets tickets may be a whopping 25 cents
The Association: where "amazing" "happens!!!"
Speaking of Rocky IV, this is hugely embarrassing to admit, but a little over a year ago I went and saw it in a local theater here that was doing an all day long Dolph Lundgren film festival, and it was maybe the most fun movie I've ever seen in the theater. I couldn't have picked a better crowd for that movie :)
Can someone explain to me how Derrick Favors (8 pt, 9 reb, 2 ast, 3 blk) only has 13 minutes? Freakin Avery...
After all this talk about the infinite badass-ery of Carl Weathers, I might have to fire up my Action Jackson DVD sometime this week...
I thought we all knew that whenever the Bieb is a around, it's an automatic suck. By the way, what the hell is he doing at a Hawks game anyways? Shouldn't he be with the Craptors instead? In fact I vomited when he was at Staple Center in a Laker jersey.
Grizzlies end-of-game play: Give the play to Rudy Gay, let him do his thing (Hey, NBA defenders? He wants to go right, mmmK?). Jump shot with 0.8 left. Swish. Grizzlies up by 2. Toronto crowd deflated and with an inevitable sense of upcoming doom.
Raptors end-of-game play: Struggle to throw the ball into Sundiata Gaines - I'm sorry, why he is even on the floor in the first place? Because that's just how bad the Craptors are? OK, cool. Anyways, throw it in to Sundiata, who throws it directly into the arms of his defender. Game over.
Oh, and this is the guy that had already airballed not one, but two three point shots in this game. Of course you want to get the ball into a D-league journeyman midget who's ice cold and being guarded by a much taller player. Nothing says "clutch", "execution" and "well-coached" like the final sequence, or the Craptors offense in general down the stretch.
But don't worry kids, it wasn't just on the offensive end that the Craptosaurs strove for new lows. Their defensive rebounding was.. nightmarish, catastrophic, nonexistent. And it wasn't just surrendering easy offensive boards. It was surrendering an endless series of putbacks, tips and layups for the Grizzlies. I haven't checked the boxscore to see how many offensive rebounds or second-chance points the Raptors gave up - with all the resistance of wet paper bag in a hurricane - but I consertivately estimate, as a mathemelogist, that it was a metric fuckton.
They need to start putting lard in Ed Davis and Amir Johnson's food, or surgically implant a pair of balls on Andrea Bargnani's mangina, because.. ye Gods. The forecasted Crapt-pocalypse of points in the paint was all that and more for Z-Bo, Marc Gasol, Rudy Gay and even lacktion Hall of Famer Darrell Freaking Arthur.
Special mention to Julian Wright for barely grazing the rim on the first freebie on two consecutive trips to the line. There's knowing your limitations, and then there's being so offensively limited that your team is playing four-on-five when you're on the floor.
My next game is against Phoenix; at least I can cheer Captain Canada, boo Half Man Half Season, and get drunk with my friends. And it will be Marcin Gortat's turn to beat our soft front line like a rented mule.
This team stinks and is getting worse. Cleveland, Sacramento and New Jersey, meet you at the bottom of the standings.
...last year.
I think I will stop going to Raptors games as a sign of protest about how disconnected the string jerkers of this team are. Triano, that's going to go down on your watch this record ended. People won't remember how lop sided your win-loss record was in 10 years because you will likely be remember for that when the history books are dusted off.
And Bargnani? You were supposed to step up man. Not back off constantly from behind the arc like there were hot coals there. Hugely disappointing evening.