Apparently Jeff Teague has been watching Euroleague basketball

(Video via JE Skeets)

Update! Last minute addition here, but I saw Skeets retweet this and couldn't resist posting: Gilbert Arenas discusses his shoe pooping incident.

Hey Purple Paupers fans, guess what? Another DUI! This time it's sometimes-lacktator Antoine Wright. But hey, can you blame him? He's just trying to live up to the standard of one of the team's owners. (h/t Chris)

Also per Chris, here's a nice article examining the prospects of moving the Kings to my hometown of Louisville, Kentucky. I fully support this endeavor, even if it is completely unlikely. However, I will feel bad for Sacramento fans if they do relocate. In Chris's words: "We're getting jobbed very hard by the Maloofs' preference for DUIs over competence."

Speaking of bad owners, here's an amazing piece Bill Simmons tweeted a link to earlier today that was also posted in WOTN by AnacondaHL: Donald Sterling and his "plantation mentality." An excerpt:
In court papers, Baylor said that Jim Brewer, then an assistant with the Clippers, wanted the chance to interview for the head coaching job after Bill Fitch was dismissed following the 1997-98 season.

“I believe he [Sterling] was a little reluctant at first but I said, ‘We owe him that courtesy.’ So we go there and we sit down and Brewer starts talking about his qualifications, that he believed he could do the job of being the head coach,” Baylor said in court papers.

“And when he finished, Donald said something that was very shocking to me. He said, ‘Personally, I would like to have a white Southern coach coaching poor black players. And I was shocked. And he looked at me and said, ‘Do you think that’s a racist statement?’ I said, ‘Absolutely. That’s plantation mentality.”
This should surprise nobody on this blog, but it's still disgusting to see in print.

Well, to cleanse your palette after that, here's something I saw in a tweet from Deadspin's Katie Baker: "DO GLUE GET YOU HIGH" and other questions about drugs from naive middle schoolers and high schoolers being answered by the National Institute of Drug Abuse. This is way more amusing than it probably should be.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:
"Damn you ball! Why don't you go into the basket when I shoot free throws?!"

Things I don't need to see checklist:
1) Vag Carter viewed through a fisheye list...

"Hand arm in the face! That's good defense, right Coach?"

Woah. Tim Duncan is intense.

I do love me some sad bench photos, I cannot lie...

Nationally Televised Games:
Jazz at Heat, NBA TV, 7:30pm: Did you know that the Heat have held all seven of their opponents under 100 points this season? Now, that being said, the Jazz may match up surprisingly well here. Deron Williams is a quality point guard, which the Heat don't like seeing, and Al Jefferson's front court presence could be very important.

All The Other Games:
Nuggets at Pacers, 7pm: The Pacers have spent their last two games averaging 82 points on 32% shooting. Danny Granger's explanation? "Tempo has been down for the last couple of games, and that is not the way we play." Kinda get the feeling that tempo doesn't completely explain 34% shooting...

Also, interesting goings-on in Denver...

Cavaliers at Nyets, 7pm: The Cavs get to play the Nyets on the road tonight, and then AGAIN tomorrow at home! If the Nyets continue to put up abysmal offensive numbers like they have the past several games, this could be a great momentum-builder for Cleveland. Or completely demoralizing if they lose. You know, either or.

Clippers at Hornets, 8pm: The Hornets may be surprising us a little with their success, but thankfully the Clippers still are who we thought they were. And to pretty much nobody's surprise, the Hornets are going for their 14th straight victory over the Lesser LA Team.

Knicks at Bucks, 8pm: The Bucks' offense has been so bad that I recommend getting an actual buck to come onto the court and bounce the ball off its head. It's probably got just as good a chance of going in the rim as any Bucks player can offer right now.

Pissed-Ons at Frail Blazers, 10pm: Detroit's on a two game winning streak! They've beaten the Bobcraps and the Warriors. Amazing how that second sentence completely sucked all the life out of any Detroit fans that got all excited after reading the first sentence, eh?

Timberwolves at Lakers, 10:30pm: Cheer up, Minnesota fans. Darko Milicic may be having a spectacularly, stupendously horrible season career, but he is averaging 2.71 blocks per game this year -- third best in the NBA! -- while only playing 20 minutes per game. That's an astounding 6.38 blocks per 48 minutes! So that's something, right?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...
Damnit... those questions are hilarious, but with every repost we move closer to the inevitable invasion of 4channers asking "hilarious" questions.

Blogger Unknown said...
I saw this on the Reilly column: But the Heat's Big Three numbers are 3, 1, and 6, as in 3:16, as in John 3:16. WTF! It's officially a sign of the end times (even though that passage is about love and stuff).

Blogger Solieyu said...
Surprised it took so long for someone to make a "Lakers could break the regular season wins record" article. Fox Sport's Bill Reiter wrote a little article on it. I've thought since last year that the Lakers could easily break that record if they could stay healthy, and now they seem alarmingly better than last season. Is Phil's potential retirement really that much incentive?

Speaking of Foxsports, is anyone else annoyed with their little Heat or 3peat shennanigan they're running this season?

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Heh, I've been watching old episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway recently, and just got to ep' 14 season 3. It starts with Carey saying "The points are useless, just like an L.A Clippers ticket." Yes Drew, they are who you think they are.

Anonymous laddder said...
"Do you think that's a racist statement?"

-Donald Sterling

I see his towers here in LA and each time I see it I think about how someone stupid can be so rich lol

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Solieyu - I think it's way, way too early to be predicting anyone's gonna be breaking any win records this year. LA is 7-0, but their schedule has, IMO, been very favorable thus far. While I do think they look better than they did a year ago, a year ago they "only" won 57 games. I don't think they look 16+ games better than they did a year ago. Not yet anyway.

That said, I think thus far the Lakers are greatly improved in two ways: First, they're finally running the offense through Gasol. Kobe's field goal attempts are way down this year (from 21.5 per game last year to only 16.1 per game this year), and Gasol's are way up (from a paltry 13.0 last year to 17.9 this year, good for team lead in that category). In the triangle offense, running it through the post just makes everything work better, and this is doubly true when you've got a pivot as skilled as Gasol is.

The second way the Lakers are improved is just the bench is far, far superior to what it was a year ago. Blake and Barnes are revelations compared to what the Lakers were using as backup point guard and small forward last year (Jordan Farmar, a talented but wildly inconsistent player and really nobody as the backup SF as Luke Walton was hurt, which meant Kobe had to play minutes there with Sasha Vujacic getting SG minutes alongside Shannon Brown). In addition, Shannon Brown appears to have taken his game to a whole new level and is playing the best ball of his career, without a doubt.

The bench figures to only improve in a few weeks as well when Andrew Bynum returns, pushing Odom back to his usual backup role. Odom's play this season also can't go unheralded as a reason for why the Lakers are off to such a good start. The work Odom did with Team USA's World Championship this summer has him more focused and in better early season shape than he's ever been, and he too appears to be playing some of the best ball of his career.

But even with all that, I think it's way, way too early to be talking about the Lakers going for even 65 wins, let alone 70+. I think the Lakers have a decent shot at the league's best record though, but they really haven't been tested yet, and aren't going to be for a while due to this easy schedule. Hopefully a month from now we'll have a better understanding of how good they actually are.

Blogger LotharBot said...
The Nuggets are on a 4th in 5, and it shows. They started the third quarter within striking distance, down 10 points. But they've given up eight threes in the quarter, and JR Smith has fouled Mike Dunleavy twice beyond the arc.

The Nuggets put up a respectable 27 points during the quarter, but gave up 54. No, I didn't mistype that. The NBA record for points in a quarter is 58 by the Buffalo Braves in 1972. The Pacers' previous franchise record for points in a quarter is 45 (I think; can't find an official stat.)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
goddamn, indiana just hung 54 points on denver in the third. that's gotta be some sort of record!

according to the play by play on espn the only fg they missed was a last second three by mcroberts, though they did miss 3 freebies

Anonymous Silvio said...
Melo at Bulls 32 points, while tonight at Pacers 13 only.
Bulls = potential buyers
Pacers not

Anonymous Anonymous said...
How does curb stomping a guy on the ground not get you thrown out of a sport? geez, and how did his teammates not totally waste that guy. that is some shit you can't just let go, and leave it at thatwith a tech and think it's cool.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
My god I can't wait to read tomorrows post

Anonymous Ak dave said...

Pacers drop 144 on Denver in a 30-point blowout win.

I feel like I'm taking CRAZY PILLS.

Blogger LotharBot said...
Dahntay Jones really stuck it to his old team. In a 31 point win, he logged a 1.8 trillion and a plus-minus of -5. FAIL!

Anonymous Silvio said...
Arron Afflalo and Jamario Moon still in a neck to neck race for worst "percepted as defensive stopper, yet Barkley's grandma would drop 30 on him" player.
Nuggets guard reached new heights - Dunleavy Jr dropped 31 on him in just 24 minutes.
In the meantime, Travis Outlaw became another SF easily beating his season best vs Cavs: 27 points from 22 attempts (team high, usually it is reserved for Brooke or Devin). This must be worst drop off in professional sports ever, from LeBron to ... not the worst SF in the league ... but hands down worst starting SF in NBA.

In another comment I posted bawful Afflalo's defensive assignments (highlighted by Bogans scoring in double digits first and probably last time as a Bull). Here's Jamario's assignments in first 7 games
Pts Min Date Team Name
19 27 10/29/2010 TOR Linas Kleiza
13 33 10/27/2010 BOS Paul Pierce
20 42 10/30/2010 SAC Omri Casspi
22 36 11/2/2010 ATL Marvin Williams
15 32 11/5/2010 PHI Andres Nocioni (32 minutes from the bench after Iggy got injured)
23 33 11/6/2010 WAS Al Thornton (despite Al unexplainable being benched for last 09:18 of the game)
27 42 11/9/2010 NJN Travis Outlaw

Except for Pierce (2nd of b-2-b night after big win over Heat), 5/6 season highs for direct opponent, would be 6/6 but Thornton missed it for just 1 point, he scored 24 over as much as Moon defensively inept Marvin Williams. But difference being nobody heralds Marva as "athletic defensive specialist" and at least Marv brings some goods in offense.

Anonymous Silvio said...
Kaman injured? 7 minutes only tonight.
Gordon missed today's game, Baron Davis just returned from injury today (in a very limited role from the bench) , Foye is still out (not that it matters).
Once again injuries keep "they are ..." from showing bawfulness in all their grandeur.

Good news for " ... who we thought ... " is they host Pissed-Ons at Friday and Nyets at Monday. Griffin versus Daye (and non-existent Pissed-Ons inside defense), then versus Troy Murphy (and almost non-existent Nyets inside defense), he'll score something like 80 or 90 over those two games. That might be good enough for 2 wins and 3-8 record = 27% wins at that moment. It might be season best for " ... they were" during season, both in win percentage column and longest winning streak.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Beasted by Okafor, now Millsap. Your bigs suck, Miami.

Blogger stephanie g said...
I guess the Heat are just resigning themselves to the fact that any opposing big man with minimal skill is going to do a Godzilla impression on their interior D.

Blogger @huynhjeff said...
I don't have NBA TV so I could only Gamecast the game from ESPN but did they give House the final shot AGAIN? I saw that Gamecast saying they put him in and I was thinking "They couldn't possibly want to give him the last shot again" and then BAM, another miss. Can someone explain???

Don't get me wrong though, I am so happy that the Jazz won.

Blogger Unknown said...
I can't even keep up my enthusiasm for my anti-record-beating season countdown for the Heat. The more it becomes obvious to even the optimistic ones that it isn't happening, the less fun it becomes.


Anonymous Aram said...
Heat got trolled.

Big time.

4chan/sp is having a party.

Anonymous Silvio said...
LOL, Heat lost to team that played Kyrylo Fesenko for 18:30 minutes and Francisco Elson for 6:28 minutes. In fact, Elson's scored winning points. OK, those were his only points and he actually wanted to intentionally miss second free throw, but nobody's perfect.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The Heat just got destroyed by PAUL MILSAP.

I have no punchline here. The previous sentence is punchline enough.

Anonymous Phil said...
You ain't never seen clutch til you've seen a 2 for 20 career three point shooter make three straight triples in the last thirty seconds to force overtime.

Blogger Austen said...
Some food for thought when you do tomorrow's Worst of the Night for the Jazz - Heat game:

Against the Heat, Paul Millsap had 46 points, 9 rebounds, shooting 19/28 and 3/3 from 3-point land, as well as a steal; an assist; and a block.

Yeah, we Jazz fans are really missing Boozer. And btw, before tonight's game Millsap was 2/20 from 3-point land. Just...wow.

You can say many things about my Jazz and the relative strength of that squad, but when they show the heart and determination they showed tonight I'm proud to be a Jazz fan.

Anonymous Silvio said...
Knicks - Bucks
32 - 46 points in the paint
17 - 35 points off turnovers
80 - 107 total points

For which of those two teams we could use "fundamentally sound" in a same sentence with team's name?

Blogger stephanie g said...
Jazz win despite D-whistle and LaRef having a 47-21 FT advantage, without Deron Williams in OT, and while LeBron runs away from plays when it matters after notching another worthless triple double. And he watches Wade and Haslem try to win. The basketbawfulness is so, so good, so early. Better than I could have hoped. Now we just need some freeze outs, woman problems, or something going wrong at the club. Oh great Noodly One, I don't ask for much...

Blogger LotharBot said...
Silvio said "Nuggets guard [Afflalo] reached new heights - Dunleavy Jr dropped 31 on him in just 24 minutes."

This is a great example of why you shouldn't try to do basketball analysis by reading the box score.

Dunleavy scored 7 points in the second quarter when Arron Afflalo was on the bench and Melo was defending. He scored 8 early in the third when AA was in the game, but again, Melo was defending. He scored 11 in a row for the Pacers starting at about 4:30 left in the third, when Arron Afflalo was on the bench and JR Smith was defending. AA checked back in while Dunleavy was shooting ft's, but JR Smith continued to guard Dunleavy, who scored 5 more. (The replay is up on League Pass broadband if you want to check my work.)

So, to recap, exactly zero of Dunleavy's 31 points came with Arron Afflalo defending him. Dunleavy dropped 31 on noted defensive stoppers Carmelo Anthony and JR Smith. I don't mind if you want to be critical of Afflalo's defense, but don't complain about points he "gave up" when he was defending someone else or sitting on the bench.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
WotN has to go to Josh McRoberts for blowing the Pacer's perfect 3rd quarter. He misses a shot with 1.9 seconds left??? What an @$$hole!

Oh wait... LotharBot pointed this out:
"The NBA record for points in a quarter is 58 by the Buffalo Braves in 1972."
The CLIPPERS hold the record? WTF? So the Pissers go for 54 in a quarter, Millsap channels his inner 2004-era McGrady, and Eddie House is the clutch man for the Heat... This is officially bizarro night in the NBA.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I had to do a double take at my fantasy team. WTF did you do tonight Paul Millsap? I like it!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Oh, I remember hearing that Donald Sterling thing last summer, there was an article in ESPN the magazine. That man disgusts me, and make no mistake, he is a virulent racist.

Just one more reason to feel bad for the Clippers. Except for Blake Griffin. Sterling probably thinks he's white.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Cats and dogs living together. MASS HYSTERIA!

Anonymous Aaron said...
why was Eddie House shooting the last shot for the Heat, AGAIN?

also, the only quality team the Heat beat was Orlando who was playing the 2nd game of a B2B. Does this remind you of anything? The Cavs from last year!

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I posted my comment based on the Pacers. Ahem


Anonymous Ak dave said...
I think this is a good time to point out this link once again.

Aaaah I love the smell of failure in the morning!

Boston up next, the countdown could very well be at 6 before week's end.

It was only a matter of time before a blueprint came out on how to beat these guys. You can't be a dominant team when 2 of your starting 5 are vulnerable to isolation plays and your bench consists of Zydrunas Ilgauskus and Mario Chalmers. Furthermore, Chris Bosh is looking more and more like a chump as time goes by. He is routinely getting outrebounded by guards and small forwards.

PS: when Mike Miller gets healthy, the Heat will be even worse defensively. Yikes. Love it.

Blogger Preveen said...
Ak dave: Considering it was Van Gundy's prediction, not the Heat organisation's, doesn't that make it Van Gundy's failure? Which makes whoever runs that site and failed to understand that a big fat looser. :P

And a dude hitting fluke shots from three land to beat the Heat isn't exactly taking advantage of the hole in the middle. They might have used the hole in the middle to stay close, but those 9 points would be coming on a prayer. To paraphrase, kinda significant in a 2 point win. They were down 5 points with 30 seconds left in regulation before the power forward starts chucking up 3s. And the Heat still could have put it out of reach if they took the freebies on offer.

But on the positive side, at least Bosh grabbed a few rebounds.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Look, before we get ahead of ourselves making fun of Van Gundy's prediction that the Heat would win 73+ games this year, we should focus on something more immediate. Like his prediction that the Heat "will never lose two games in a row this year." With Boston coming to town on Thursday, that prediction looks like it could be in serious jeopardy of being proven false barely two weeks into the season.

Also of note, the Heat (5-3) are only a half a game ahead of Cleveland (4-3) right now. However, Cleveland is technically in the 4th seed while Miami is in the 5th seed, due to the Cavs leading the Central Division while Miami is just 3rd in the Southeast Division.

Not to worry though, John Hollinger's calculator still says the Heat have outplayed everyone else thus far this season.

Go LeBron!

Anonymous Stockton said...
THE MILMAN DELIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Up Yours, LeDouche!!

If Milsap doens't win Most Improved this year, it will only prove that the Jazz don't count to the league....

Blogger winnetou said...
As a late response to Silvio's question: According to nba.com's recap, Kaman sprained his ankle with about 5 minutes left in the first quarter.
Also in that same game, Mbenga played 5:34 with only a -2 to his name, not even a shot attempt.

Anonymous Marc d. said...
All would be right in the world if the Cavs finish with a higher seed than the Heat, and it'd be pure heaven if the Raptors did the same.

I can dream, can't I?