Rockets Bobcats Basketball
Michael Jordan discusses the intricacies of Rock, Paper, Scissors with Captain Jack

The latest news on Antoine Walker's delightfully bawful comeback* -- he plans on signing with the Idaho Stampede. This is glorious. Of course the one little caveat is that this is pending a background review. Considering this is Antoine "I have gambling debts galore!" Walker we're talking about, you never know...

* Can we even really consider it a comeback? It is just the D-League after all... If he actually makes it back onto an NBA roster, then I'll call it a comeback

Want to drink for free? Head down to the Whiskey Tango in Hollywood, FL -- they're handing out free drinks whenever the Miami Heat lose. And it's cost the bar $30,000 in free drinks so far this season. Don't worry -- the owners aren't complaining since it's giving them plenty of publicity. However, if they start doing this for Clippers games too, they'll be in trouble.

And before I forget to mention it: R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen. I have much respect for the master of deadpan delivery.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
Wow, good thing nobody comes to Miami games. This could have been dangerous!

76ers Miami Basketball
You must be this tall to play

Clippers Suns Basketball
Someone please go tell Hedo that his team actually is winning this game

Spurs Hornets Basketball
"What the hell are you looking at? Never seen a grown man hug his invisible friend before?"

Here are some things Vince Carter loves:
1) Being injured
2) Ill-fitting suits

This suit, on the other hand, is stylish by 1970s ABA standards

Donte Greene is sad

Tom Thibodeau enjoys making Donte Greene sad

Nationally Televised Games:
Rockets at Mavericks, NBA TV, 8:30pm: Dallas just keeps on winning. Houston just keeps on being slightly worse than mediocre, but slightly better than Clippery bad.

All the Other Games:
Wizards Generals at Heat, 7:30pm: As bad as things are in Miami right now, at least they aren't the Generals. Aside from, you know, being a team based in Washington DC, the Generals are banged up. John Wall is questionable, Yi Jianlian is still busy sitting on chairs instead of posting them up. Al Thornton likely will be out as well. The team is winless away from home this year, but gets to play 5 of their next 6 on the road. Damnation. And I'd like to point out that the Heat are still over .500, so it could be much, much worse, Miami fans.

Hornets at Thunder, 8pm: Since relocating to OKC, the Thunder have not beaten the Hornets when Chris Paul has been in the lineup. Dude just owns them. He's even got a sweet little certificate of ownership and everything.

Bucks at Jazz, 9pm: Milwaukee's got the injury blues almost as bad as Washington. Bogut, Gooden, Maggette, and Delfino are all injured at the moment. Though I'm pretty sure losing Maggette is addition by subtraction.

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Anonymous Czernobog said...
OK, not basketball, but I just witnessed one of the roughest bitch-slappings I've ever seen in a soccer match, and that was to a team that I would have easily placed as top 5 in the world.

5-0, and Barcelona's goal keeper could literally have stayed at home. It was like watching the Lakers go on a road game in Boston and lose 120-50.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
I love coach Pop, but that man really is one of the ugliest men alive.

Blogger Keaton said...
Do you think the jazz will have to do one of their epic comebacks against an injured bucks team? Hopefully not. I want to see a lot of Fesenko this game.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
This definitely deserves some mention here. I remember reading about a bar in Miami at the start of the season that would be giving away free drinks every time this season that the Heat lost, but I'd forgotten all about that... until now. Apparently that bar is already $30,000 in debt as a result. Yikes.

Blogger Passives Abseits said...
am I the only one who thinks it is totally awesome that they replaced the 72 wins watch with the Spolstra watch on ESPN? Countdown to failure: completed.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I want to watch all of Tippy Toines games. This should be broadcast just like Iverson in Turkey

Anonymous KHayes666 said...
What if Antoine Walker the Heat?

Speaking of the Heat, why doesn't Spolestra grow some balls and bench James for the show of disrespect?

Actually, the fact NO ONE stood up for the coach is a sign that his days are numbered. If KG bumps Rivers, Pierce would get in his face. If Bryant bumped Phil Jackson, Fischer would call him out. If Igodala bumps Doug Collins.....ok bad example.

Anonymous Original said...
Knee-Mac, trying his best to stay relevant:

Anonymous AK Dave said...

Good points. Note that in your analogies you used veteran players who had rapport with the coach (Rivers-Pierce, Fischer-Jackson). On the Heat, you have a bunch of young guys who don't really know "Coach Spo". Wade is the guy who needed to step up and say something, but he has never been a formal or vocal leader; more a "lead by example" guy. But if Spoelstra has any hope on this team, Wade needs to defend him a little more vigorously.

Problem is, can ANYONE- coach or player- stand up to LePrimadonna?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This actually just happened, no exaggeration.

After Dwyane Wade airballed a dunk attempt (hereafter known as "pulling a Joel Anthony"), the Miami announcers came back with this gem. "That hangnail is really bothering him".

I've been laughing for the past 2 minutes. Bawful in it's purest form right there.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Wild Yams -- I read about that this morning and linked to that story already in the post. ;) Too bad I am not within $25-worth-of-gas-money driving distance of that bar...

KHayes666 -- What if Antoine Walker the Heat?

That's brilliant.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
I'd like to thank the NBA, ESPN and whoever else makes the national television schedule for fellating the Nazgul as the feature game. This means I get to watch New Orleans/Oklahoma City game on League Pass instead of it being blacked out, as it would be any in any sane universe, as it is the vastly superior basketball game.

Thanks LeDouche!

Anonymous Marc d. said...
It's funny. I actually really LIKED Lebron when he first came into the league. He seemed down to earth, he had a complete game, he shared the ball, and he played hard all the time. He was like the anti-NBA-superstar.

Now, 8 years of unfettered adulation has finally gotten to him. If you think about it, it's actually kind of impressive it took him this long to turn into a ginormous d-bag.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Dan B. - My reading comprehension continues to be awful. My apologies :)

Blogger Dan B. said...
After Dwyane Wade airballed a dunk attempt (hereafter known as "pulling a Joel Anthony"), the Miami announcers came back with this gem. "That hangnail is really bothering him".

...HAHA! That is stunningly bawful. Well done, Anonymous.

Yams -- Just ribbin' ya a little. :)

Anonymous RRR said...
D-Will is taking this new TSA pat down very seriously and lending a helping hand to insure that Chris Doulgas-Roberts will not be blowing up any planes on his long flight tonight.

Anonymous KHayes666 said...
AK DAve - Good point about Miami's difference being younger players instead of veterans.

Yes, anyone CAN call Lebron out for not taking responsibility for the team's failures....the problem is do they want anyone on Lebron's payroll (Bosh, Wade, Stern, ESPN, Heat tv and radio announcers, Miami fans and assorted superfans) flooding the media with backlash against this person for calling him out?

Blogger zyth said...
while in no way you can make excuses for armstrongs shove on anthony, you could see that he was actually not looking at him and was following the ball and the moment he saw the dude falling he tried to help him up.
and then juwan howard channeled his inner-hulk.
i wonder if he would kill nick young if the ref wasn't standing there.
just lovin' this happy miami collective.

Anonymous Sorbo said...
Blast from the past in airball dunks!:

Blogger Gökhan said...
After Dwyane Wade airballed a dunk attempt (hereafter known as "pulling a Joel Anthony")

when was that? i like to see.

Blogger David Landon said...
Gotta love the ringing endorsement LeBron gave Coach Spo: "I have Coach Spo’s back or whatever the case may be"

It's something a kid would say when their mom makes them apologize for hitting their brother or something.

Anonymous Barry said...
"Don't call it a comeback"

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Damn, MJ makes Rock, Paper, Scissors look easy. He must've been practicing.

Blogger zyth said...
vide Original; T-Mac, the dirty quote machine !
"That guy might be getting off, but the other guy [isn't]."
he even used to make porn faces

Anonymous Anonymous said...
As we are all aware the all-star ballot is open. We can truly make a mark on this years team (unintentional dirty quote?) by voting Rudy Gay and Kevin Love as the starting forwards for the West.

Surely everyone here would be in favour of seeing the starting forwards for the West being Gay Love?

Just remember Memphis had the opportunity to do this a couple of years back but decided to trade Mayo for Love. Coincidence, I think not.

So I implore you all, vote GAY LOVE!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
When I read the Whiskey Tango story, it was right when Simmons was mentioning that the Heat were 5-12 or something against the spread, so really they could have easily covered their bets.